sally what i'm saying is that people who join the SF, rangers, Marines, seals etc go in w/ teh expectation they are going to get to grease some scumbag. most do not go all EMO over doing what needs to be done. it is entirely acceptable for the average person to do so, it is dangerous to a professional warrior to be that way. it's understandable & accepted concerning collateral damage but wallowing in it and carrying it into the next mission is not acceptable.
i know plenty of young studs play the emo crap when they get home & a lot are doing it for the attention (especially female attention because young girls eat that sensitivity crap up). the reality is most don't suffer emotional distress over doing the job and most learn to quickly let go of unintended consequences because it is necessary for survival.