One night stands.

[Fran27]

I just think that 18 is young for one night stands, although one occasionally isn't the same as one twice a month... really, you're still a kid at 18. When I was 17 I had a 20 yo friend who was with a different guy every week... honestly creeped me out... I do think that at 21 or 22 you're usually more mature though.

I totally admit that I'm envious of girls that feel comfortable enough in their bodies to do that though!

 

[milos_mommy]

I just think that 18 is young for one night stands, although one occasionally isn't the same as one twice a month... really, you're still a kid at 18. When I was 17 I had a 20 yo friend who was with a different guy every week... honestly creeped me out... I do think that at 21 or 22 you're usually more mature though.

I totally admit that I'm envious of girls that feel comfortable enough in their bodies to do that though!

I think most girls who have one night stands are not all that comfortable with their bodies or themselves...I think they do it to make them feel more "sexy" or hot or wanted by men.

I think a lot of women who are comfortable enough in their bodies don't really need anyone else to make them feel attractive.

 

[HayleyMarie]

I think most girls who have one night stands are not all that comfortable with their bodies or themselves...I think they do it to make them feel more "sexy" or hot or wanted by men.

I think a lot of women who are comfortable enough in their bodies don't really need anyone else to make them feel attractive.

^^ THIS I agree with.

I am a very very confident person in myself and my sexuality. Even if I was not in a long term relationship I would never have a one night stand. Its not me and its not something I feel I need to do. I am not a person that is going to give my self away very easily. I feel I am more valible than that.

Although I have no problem with ppl who have one nighters. I have friends who do it and I dont judge. And some of them are confident girls, but some of them are not.

I also dont think girls need to sleep around with men to feel "sexy"or hot or wanted by men as milo put it. But I can see where girls with low self esteem think its a fix.

Hell. I dont have one night stands, and I am in a long term relationship and I am still wanted by men. lol. I think guys perfer a girl that can give them a run for their money with a girl with confidence.

I was talking to my friend this weekend who was seeing this girl after a couple dates she slept with him and after that he wanted nothing to do with her. Why? because he does not want to be in a relationship with a girl who gives it up easily. They like the chase.

 

[Fran101]

Being the hopeless romantic that I am. It was SOOO hard for me to wrap my head around one night stands, I thought that for sure there had to be something off with girls that did this kind of stuff, some kind of confidence issue.

and then I got close to one of my friends from college. she is a confident, real, sweet, smart girl.. but she and I have totally different definitions of what sex is lol

to me, sex is like this "making love" nicholas sparks novel, a night in paris, totally romantic intimate thing that you do with someone you love

to her, sex is just..sex. its two people, put this into this and voila. She is safe, and honest with herself, and just happens to think of sex as something fun to do. thats all. she doesn't sleep around a lot, but she has had one night stands and they dont bother her at all.

We are both happy, healthy individuals totally content with our lives so.. why does one of us have to be wrong? lol

She respects the way I think of sex, and I respect hers..and I think thats how it should be.. I mean, who am I to say that someone who has one night stands MUST have confidence problems or some kind of issue? or that my way is right and hers is wrong.

One night stands, and a bunch of other things aren't my thing.. but I try to remain open minded. Just being it isn't right for ME doesn't make it WRONG. lol took me a while to wrap my head around that

 

[Fran27]

I think most girls who have one night stands are not all that comfortable with their bodies or themselves...I think they do it to make them feel more "sexy" or hot or wanted by men.

In my experience, it's confident girls who think that sex is fun. At least the ones I've met were that way.

 

[Island dog]

Wish my mother had super glued mine shut!

 

[skittledoo]

I personally don't see anything wrong with it if both parties agree that they are fine with it honestly. I've had a couple myself... though I personally much prefer sex in a relationship to one night stands for me personally...

but you know what... my current boyfriend is the result of a "was meant to be a" one night stand... we both had a MAJOR attraction to each other and it was pure obvious... one thing led to another and the next thing... well... sex happened...

but... we had thought it would stop there... and we ended up pursuing a relationship even when I moved across the country... and now... he moved across the country as well just to be with me... so... I think any kind of one night stands for me are pretty much in the past... and I have a lot to look forward to in the future with this guy.

 

[Renee750il]

Just being it isn't right for ME doesn't make it WRONG. lol took me a while to wrap my head around that

You know, that's a lesson that way too many spend entire lifetimes never learning

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

I've done it and don't regret it at all.

But, not everyone can separate sex and emotion, and that's all good. but I can and it doesn't hurt my feelings when "he didn't call me" within a week or anything like that. Usually I'm the one that bails out without leaving a name and a number.

Oh well, it's personal preference. I find that sex with someone you love is more rewarding (and easier, don't have to chew your arm off in the morning to escape, forget clothes, or use your GPS to get home) but if you're single and out having a good time and being careful...well, it's more fun than masturbating.

I agree with all the above.

I have a hard time having real feelings for anyone relationship wise. Rightfully so I think. Not that im closed off to love. I would love to be in love. But I just havent found anyone who makes me feel that way. Not since Jesse.

But I was that way before him. I could feel extreme like/lust for someone but never love.

Most days I prefer it that way. Heartbreak is not something I want to experience any time soon. And so not feeling any real love for those guys makes things easier to end for me.

I can count the number of ONS on one hand but I don't regret any of them. I was safe and careful. They were also a LONG time ago. And its my body so really people shouldn't get offended by what I do with it. Lol I will sound slutty im sure. But I am much more likely to kiss/make out with a random mutual friend or something than have a actual ONS. But its not like I make that a constant habit either. I don't go out half as much as I used to.

I tend to let things people say about it go in one ear and out the other. I figure I was a really good kid/teen. Never did drugs, drank, got detention, or got grounded. I made it a point to be invisible and my parents easy kid.

But now im an adult I would like to live my life a little bit.

 

[Tortilla]

I've noticed that the people saying 21 are in the states. Is it because that's the drinking/gambling/smoking age?

Baby and I are in Canada, where the drinking/gambling/smoking age is 18 or 19 depending on what province you're in. Perhaps it's a cultural difference since Canada seems to be more laid back in general, probably stemming from being far less conservative and religious. Despite 21 only being 2-3 years older than the drinking ages here, it somehow makes a difference...

Also the running her mouth thing i doubt. If i do recall, baby lives in a very small town... The kind where everyone knows everyone and everything they do (which again if i do recall is how many of the maritime towns tend to be, it's fun until the gossip is about you).

Anyways to me, it's a personal choice. If they don't have it in them to get emotionally attached to everyone they sleep with all the power to them to have one night stands, what they do with their genitals is their choice as long as it's legal (and preferably safe, ALWAYS GET TESTED REGULARLY IF YOU SLEEP AROUND).

I found this interesting, too. To me, 21 is such a random age. I don't think that there is a magical age where people are suddenly ready for sex, people mature at different rates. I also agree that it's a personal choice, as people regard sex differently. I don't see sex as 'making love,' I see it as just sex. To me, it's no big deal. As long as everyone is safe and is on the same page, I don't see a problem. But to each their own!

 

[Hillside]

I think most girls who have one night stands are not all that comfortable with their bodies or themselves...I think they do it to make them feel more "sexy" or hot or wanted by men.

I think a lot of women who are comfortable enough in their bodies don't really need anyone else to make them feel attractive.

That or they just want to have sex because they enjoy it.

 

[Taqroy]

^^ THIS I agree with.

I am a very very confident person in myself and my sexuality. Even if I was not in a long term relationship I would never have a one night stand. Its not me and its not something I feel I need to do. I am not a person that is going to give my self away very easily. I feel I am more valible than that.

Although I have no problem with ppl who have one nighters. I have friends who do it and I dont judge. And some of them are confident girls, but some of them are not.

I also dont think girls need to sleep around with men to feel "sexy"or hot or wanted by men as milo put it. But I can see where girls with low self esteem think its a fix.

Hell. I dont have one night stands, and I am in a long term relationship and I am still wanted by men. lol. I think guys perfer a girl that can give them a run for their money with a girl with confidence.

I was talking to my friend this weekend who was seeing this girl after a couple dates she slept with him and after that he wanted nothing to do with her. Why? because he does not want to be in a relationship with a girl who gives it up easily. They like the chase.

I'm not trying to pick on your post but the whole "giving it up easy" thing just bugs me. What exactly am I giving up? My soul? My life? Oh no worse, it's your vagina!! I hate too that there's a reason for thinking this way and that it's usually right. Most guys do lose interest in a girl who has sex on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date. I've seen it happen to my sister many times. To be fair, it usually doesn't bother her since she puts sex in the oooh fun category anyway lol. It's just....archaic that women are looked down upon for having ONS or for giving it up easy or whatever. I think that all women should start shunning easy men. That would be awesome.

I had a ONS at 19. The one and only. Not because I planned it that way but because it just never happened again. It didn't bother me, I wasn't emotionally attached and honestly the whole thing was kind of funny to me since I basically did the chew my arm off to get out thing. If I were still single...well I don't know how I would feel about it since I haven't been single in three years but I can't imagine I'd feel much different. I just don't see sex as some all consuming THING in relationships. It's just.....sex.

This is a total ramble so if it doesn't make sense feel free to ignore lol.

 

[noludoru]

In my experience, it's confident girls who think that sex is fun. At least the ones I've met were that way.

I don't think there's a direct correlation between ONS and confidence about your appearance. At all. You can have body issues and still think sex is fun and want to participate without being in a relationship, or you can know that you're totally freaking awesome and and want NSA sex sometimes. *shrug* There are definitely some who lack any confidence and depend on someone to make them feel sexy and beautiful, but that's more common in relationships than ONS.

For instance, I have issues with my body. A lot of them. With clothes on, I'm good, and I know I look fine; but when they come off, my confidence goes with them. It didn't stop me from trying a one night stand. I don't have crippling confidence issues like some women, but I know a lot of others are like me, and we can ignore or deal with things well enough to have sex anyway.

Taqroy, you make total sense about the "giving it up" thing. That point of view annoys me, too. I'm not "giving" anything to anyone. My body is my own. Your bodies are your own. It would do us all some good to remember that. When we have sex, we share in an experience. We don't give anything away.

 

[AGonzalez]

I don't think there's a direct correlation between ONS and confidence about your appearance. At all. You can have body issues and still think sex is fun and want to participate without being in a relationship, or you can know that you're totally freaking awesome and and want NSA sex sometimes. *shrug* There are definitely some who lack any confidence and depend on someone to make them feel sexy and beautiful, but that's more common in relationships than ONS.

For instance, I have issues with my body. A lot of them. With clothes on, I'm good, and I know I look fine; but when they come off, my confidence goes with them. It didn't stop me from trying a one night stand. I don't have crippling confidence issues like some women, but I know a lot of others are like me, and we can ignore or deal with things well enough to have sex anyway.

Taqroy, you make total sense about the "giving it up" thing. That point of view annoys me, too. I'm not "giving" anything to anyone. My body is my own. Your bodies are your own. It would do us all some good to remember that. When we have sex, we share in an experience. We don't give anything away.

Maybe vag's give out like a consolation prize or something...or they should the way people talk about "giving up part of yourself" etc etc...

Wouldn't that be awesome? It'd be like going to the carnival!

 

[Beanie]

We are both happy, healthy individuals totally content with our lives so.. why does one of us have to be wrong? lol

She respects the way I think of sex, and I respect hers..and I think thats how it should be.. I mean, who am I to say that someone who has one night stands MUST have confidence problems or some kind of issue? or that my way is right and hers is wrong.

If only more people could do this instead of being insulting to people who don't share their viewpoint.

 

[~Jessie~]

When you take a step back and really think about it, what IS sex? A body part going into another body part.

How is putting a penis into a vagina giving yourself away?

As long as you're safe (doubling up on birth control if able to) and emotionally unattached, what is the big deal about the penis going into the vagina?

I've never had a one night stand and I've never wanted one, but I don't see the BIGHUGEDEALOMGYOUHADSEX. If you're a consenting adult having sex with another consenting adult, it's your own business. How can you be judged for having responsible sex?

 

[~Jessie~]

Maybe vag's give out like a consolation prize or something...or they should the way people talk about "giving up part of yourself" etc etc...

Wouldn't that be awesome? It'd be like going to the carnival!

LOL!

"And John won HERPES tonight! Let's give him a round of applause!"

:rofl1:

 

[release the hounds]

Herpes is a good one to get, it's like luggage, you get to carry it around forever. Nothing like a consolation prize that lasts forever, that's more like a grand prize

 

[~Jessie~]

Herpes is a good one to get, it's like luggage, you get to carry it around forever. Nothing like a consolation prize that lasts forever, that's more like a grand prize

The gift that keeps on giving

 

[AGonzalez]

LOL!

"And John won HERPES tonight! Let's give him a round of applause!"

:rofl1:

I was thinking something more in the lines of prizes like a stuffed animal, but ok, Herpes/Syphillis/Gonorrhea/etc I suppose are consolation prizes...

:rofl1:

**** just trying to lighten up the dreary thread folks. It's called a joke RTH.