One night stands.

[PixieSticksandTricks]

That or they just want to have sex because they enjoy it.

Exactly. Im not out there wanting to be told my beautiful blah blah blah. I don't do it to gain confidence. I don't think in my head "This guy wants to see me naked so I MUST be hot. Yay me!" lol. Because honestly most guys I know don't care if your "hot" or not. As long as you are female and breathing they are good to go :rofl1:.

Its truly just in the fun catagory for me. I get nothing personal or confidence building from it. But I also don't lose confidence after either. Its something that when its done its done and im ready to leave and go about daily life.

 

[noludoru]

Maybe vag's give out like a consolation prize or something...or they should the way people talk about "giving up part of yourself" etc etc...

Wouldn't that be awesome? It'd be like going to the carnival!

:rofl1:

LOL!

"And John won HERPES tonight! Let's give him a round of applause!"

:rofl1::rofl1:

You two are hilarious.

When you take a step back and really think about it, what IS sex? A body part going into another body part.

See, I think that's a narrow definition of sex. What about oral? Using your hands, etc. You point is completely correct, though, that nothing you do while having sex gives any part of you away. Except, of course, the suckvitis.

 

[sparks19]

I know a lot of people don't GET it when some people say about giving themselves away. But for some people sex isn't just putting one body part in another. YES that's the mechanics of it but for some people it involves a lot more than that. For THEM it can involve their self respect, the respect of others (IE the person you are sleeping with) their emotions, sometimes their heart. that's not saying if you have ONS that you aren't respecting yourself... it's just a difference of opinion and a difference of feelings.

yes... to some people it is simply the mechanics of it and that is fine. but to others it is much more for that and I don't think they should be ridiculed for seeing more in sex then just the act itself.

Like I said I've had ONS... my fair share. then it was just the act. NOW... I DO give a bit of myself to my husband when we have sex (nice visual huh lol). it's not JUST the act anymore. there is more to it. there is emotion, love, and it's not JUST a physical act anymore. it's an expression of the emotion and the love and the TRUST we have in each other.

sounds stupid to some people but it doesn't mean it IS stupid.

 

[HayleyMarie]

I know a lot of people don't GET it when some people say about giving themselves away. But for some people sex isn't just putting one body part in another. YES that's the mechanics of it but for some people it involves a lot more than that. For THEM it can involve their self respect, the respect of others (IE the person you are sleeping with) their emotions, sometimes their heart. that's not saying if you have ONS that you aren't respecting yourself... it's just a difference of opinion and a difference of feelings.

yes... to some people it is simply the mechanics of it and that is fine. but to others it is much more for that and I don't think they should be ridiculed for seeing more in sex then just the act itself.

Like I said I've had ONS... my fair share. then it was just the act. NOW... I DO give a bit of myself to my husband when we have sex (nice visual huh lol). it's not JUST the act anymore. there is more to it. there is emotion, love, and it's not JUST a physical act anymore. it's an expression of the emotion and the love and the TRUST we have in each other.

sounds stupid to some people but it doesn't mean it IS stupid.

THIS^^^ Words right out of my mouth.

But I also understand that there are people who do not see it that way, and maybe one day sex will be different for them as well when they meet that certain person. Or maybe not.

But understand this I in no way have a problem with people having ONS. I have friends who do it and it works out totally fine with them lol

 

[release the hounds]

I was thinking something more in the lines of prizes like a stuffed animal, but ok, Herpes/Syphillis/Gonorrhea/etc I suppose are consolation prizes...

:rofl1:

**** just trying to lighten up the dreary thread folks. It's called a joke RTH.

I knew it was a joke, I thought it was funny too. I've had plenty of one nighters when I was younger, mostly cause I was horny. I think people try to over thing a lot of things. Lots of people do things for all sorts of reasons, including have sex with people they hardly know, people they don't know at all, people they are "committed" too, people that treat them like ****, people that treat them like kings and queens and other people that just want to do it. Some might do it with all of those people at once and in the end, as long as both are wiling participants, who really cares?

 

[noludoru]

yes... to some people it is simply the mechanics of it and that is fine. but to others it is much more for that and I don't think they should be ridiculed for seeing more in sex then just the act itself.

Like I said I've had ONS... my fair share. then it was just the act. NOW... I DO give a bit of myself to my husband when we have sex (nice visual huh lol). it's not JUST the act anymore. there is more to it. there is emotion, love, and it's not JUST a physical act anymore. it's an expression of the emotion and the love and the TRUST we have in each other.

sounds stupid to some people but it doesn't mean it IS stupid.

We aren't ridiculing people for feeling that sex is more than 'just sex.' We're taking offense that they insinuate that everyone else who has sex is giving a part of themselves away each time. Maybe for some people, you give away a little bit of your heart, make a stronger emotional connection, etc. But that's not what it's like for everyone all the time, and the sinister little assumption that you are somehow "giving a part of yourself away" like you have no control over your own body and that it devalues you in some way pisses me off.

And also, Sparks? It doesn't sound stupid to me. It just doesn't sound like something you do with a ONS unless you have an extremely unhealthy mindset.

 

[AGonzalez]

I knew it was a joke, I thought it was funny too. I've had plenty of one nighters when I was younger, mostly cause I was horny. I think people try to over thing a lot of things. Lots of people do things for all sorts of reasons, including have sex with people they hardly know, people they don't know at all, people they are "committed" too, people that treat them like ****, people that treat them like kings and queens and other people that just want to do it. Some might do it with all of those people at once and in the end, as long as both are wiling participants, who really cares?

Ahh ok, I wasn't sure if I was getting some ridicule for being an ass or if you caught my joke...for some reason those little things you put a quarter in and those eggs come out with something in them came to mind...no I am sober...


I have to agree that sex can mean something different to everyone. Sex with my husband is better and there's a more emotional connection than say, with previous ONS I've had...including him as the ONS. All that stuff, it's mental control. If you want to feel trashy/wrong/slutty for sleeping with a ONS, you will feel that way. If you've done like me and told your conscience to STFU a long time ago...not so much of a problem. (that's also a joke)

That doesn't mean that it has to have that emotional connection going on. I'd have no problem (if I were single) going out and picking up some stranger just for sexual gratification...and probably never talking to them again.

As for self confidence, I don't have problems with my self image and I don't think that being capable of a ONS guilt-free means that I'm doing it for attention or to help my self esteem...I had ONS's because A. I was single and horny, and B. because I like sex. Simple enough.

 

[sparks19]

We aren't ridiculing people for feeling that sex is more than 'just sex.' We're taking offense that they insinuate that everyone else who has sex is giving a part of themselves away each time. Maybe for some people, you give away a little bit of your heart, make a stronger emotional connection, etc. But that's not what it's like for everyone all the time, and the sinister little assumption that you are somehow "giving a part of yourself away" like you have no control over your own body and that it devalues you in some way pisses me off.

And also, Sparks? It doesn't sound stupid to me. It just doesn't sound like something you do with a ONS unless you have an extremely unhealthy mindset.

Oh well Yes I wouldn't do that with a one night stand lol. I don't think it was meant that everyone is giving away part of themselves when they have sex... just that for that particular person that's how they feel and why they couldn't have a ONS because even just fun sex for them feels like giving a part of themselves away.

BUT I could be wrong about that lol

 

[MPP]

I think entirely too many people are entirely too concerned about who does what to whom, and when/where/why/how/etc. Mind your own business!

Though I have to admit, the speculation is fun. opcorn:

 

[Jules]

I think entirely too many people are entirely too concerned about who does what to whom, and when/where/why/how/etc. Mind your own business!

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner!!

 

[AGonzalez]

I think entirely too many people are entirely too concerned about who does what to whom, and when/where/why/how/etc. Mind your own business!

Though I have to admit, the speculation is fun. opcorn:

What Jules said, but it is amusing the differences of opinion on here...

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

sounds stupid to some people but it doesn't mean it IS stupid.

I completely agree.

 

[Jules]

What Jules said, but it is amusing the differences of opinion on here...

In the big picture, I don't think the opinions here are that different. Most say that, yes, having sex with someone you are in love with is different that having a ONS. To me, that's the bottom line. And who cares who does what with whom where.... (as long as it's legal )

 

[mrose_s]

On the confidence thing, I don't like my body, there are a lot fo things I'd change but since I started having sex I have less issues with getting naked with someone. I like what I can do so it doesn't bother me as much.

 

[drmom777]

I have no problem with ONS, even when the parties involved are young, as long as there is absolutely, positively, 100% no coercion of any kind involved, on either side.

 

[Taqroy]

I know a lot of people don't GET it when some people say about giving themselves away. But for some people sex isn't just putting one body part in another. YES that's the mechanics of it but for some people it involves a lot more than that. For THEM it can involve their self respect, the respect of others (IE the person you are sleeping with) their emotions, sometimes their heart. that's not saying if you have ONS that you aren't respecting yourself... it's just a difference of opinion and a difference of feelings.

yes... to some people it is simply the mechanics of it and that is fine. but to others it is much more for that and I don't think they should be ridiculed for seeing more in sex then just the act itself.

Like I said I've had ONS... my fair share. then it was just the act. NOW... I DO give a bit of myself to my husband when we have sex (nice visual huh lol). it's not JUST the act anymore. there is more to it. there is emotion, love, and it's not JUST a physical act anymore. it's an expression of the emotion and the love and the TRUST we have in each other.

sounds stupid to some people but it doesn't mean it IS stupid.

I don't think I said that anything was stupid and if I did I really didn't mean to. What I meant to say was that when people say that a girl "gave it up too easy" in reference to a one night stand it seems incredibly archaic to me. Because MOST of the time they are not talking about what you're talking about. They are talking about sex (generally no strings sex) and that has very little to do with love or marriage or anything like that. And I really just don't get the term "give it up". I get "giving it away" or "giving part of yourself" and to me those are different. "Giving it up" implies that the girl is easy or slutty or whatever. It just bothers me that the same standards aren't applied across the board. That is what I was trying to say, wasn't trying to insult anyone, totally my opinion.

THIS^^^ Words right out of my mouth.

But I also understand that there are people who do not see it that way, and maybe one day sex will be different for them as well when they meet that certain person. Or maybe not.

But understand this I in no way have a problem with people having ONS. I have friends who do it and it works out totally fine with them lol

Again, wasn't trying to say you're stupid or anything. I was just stating my opinion on the....verbage? Lol. Also I don't see how sex being different when you're married has much to do with one night stands??

 

[~Jessie~]

In the big picture, I don't think the opinions here are that different. Most say that, yes, having sex with someone you are in love with is different that having a ONS. To me, that's the bottom line. And who cares who does what with whom where.... (as long as it's legal )

I completely agree.

I personally wouldn't have a ONS because sex is meaningful to me. I would only have sex with someone who I love because I feel sex is very, very intimate and not something I'd do with someone I didn't know.

But I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who likes having ONS. That is their own personal business as long as they're being responsible.

 

[sparks19]

I actually think most people on here have been pretty open minded about it I've seen a lot of "it's not for me personally but if someone else wants to do it go for it"

 

[Fran101]

lol probably the WORST part of the college ONS that i've seen..

ladies and gentleman, the campus WALK OF SHAME! Lol
YouTube - March of Shame

Girl walking down the campus lawn, dress, smudged eyeliner, holding high heels, bed head lol

 

[Zoom]

That's when you have a big grin on your face and a skip to your step. Throws everyone off guard, because obviously, a girl doing that is anything but "shamed".