Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

Clarissa is so cute!!

Here's my rant: working sucks! It's not so much work (even though I am not sure how I am going to keep up with work and pumping at the moment) it's life around work.

I get up t 4 a.m. take a shower, get ready, spend some time with T-Bone, then wake up Finley around 5. Feed and cuddle him for about an hour, then finish packing, out the door and dropping him off at 6.30 a.m.

Work. Work all day. My day starts at 7.30 and I get to leave at 3 p.m. if I work through my lunch break, which I happily did yesterday and today. I don't have any milk supply issues... when I stayed home with Finley it was enough, he's gaining weight appropriately... however, my pumping output SUCKS. I've barely managed to pump enough and had to get a 4 oz bag of milk out of my freezer stash for tomorrow. I have pumped every two hours yesterday and today, I might move that to every 1.5 hours tomorrow instead. It is so hard to maintain a pumping schedule and, well, work.

Any tips for increasing pumping output? I've thought about taking fenugreek but I am not sure if that would help with pumping or just increase my overall supply (and don't want to have too much either).

We get to the daycare at 3.45 p.m. and Finn has been just exhausted at night... understandably so. But it just feels like I am not getting any quality time with my precious baby and it just makes me sad. Then I'm home and it seems like all I've been doing is eat dinner/ feed/ try to snuggle a sleepy baby/ prepare for the next day/ pay some sort of attention to T-Bone and the cats.

This is only the second day, but I feel so burned out already.

Now all you successful working moms who balance it all graciously can tell me to suck it up :o:p
 
Jules said:
Clarissa is so cute!!

Here's my rant: working sucks! It's not so much work (even though I am not sure how I am going to keep up with work and pumping at the moment) it's life around work.

I get up t 4 a.m. take a shower, get ready, spend some time with T-Bone, then wake up Finley around 5. Feed and cuddle him for about an hour, then finish packing, out the door and dropping him off at 6.30 a.m.

Work. Work all day. My day starts at 7.30 and I get to leave at 3 p.m. if I work through my lunch break, which I happily did yesterday and today. I don't have any milk supply issues... when I stayed home with Finley it was enough, he's gaining weight appropriately... however, my pumping output SUCKS. I've barely managed to pump enough and had to get a 4 oz bag of milk out of my freezer stash for tomorrow. I have pumped every two hours yesterday and today, I might move that to every 1.5 hours tomorrow instead. It is so hard to maintain a pumping schedule and, well, work.

Any tips for increasing pumping output? I've thought about taking fenugreek but I am not sure if that would help with pumping or just increase my overall supply (and don't want to have too much either).

We get to the daycare at 3.45 p.m. and Finn has been just exhausted at night... understandably so. But it just feels like I am not getting any quality time with my precious baby and it just makes me sad. Then I'm home and it seems like all I've been doing is eat dinner/ feed/ try to snuggle a sleepy baby/ prepare for the next day/ pay some sort of attention to T-Bone and the cats.

This is only the second day, but I feel so burned out already.

Now all you successful working moms who balance it all graciously can tell me to suck it up :o:p
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Ok well, for what it's worth, I'll give you my 2 cent... Keeping in mind that I had two at once, and that I'm a SAHM... I'm sure you enjoy those few hours with Finn way more than I enjoyed my whole day with my kids when they were little. Remember, what matters is quality, not quantity... My whole days were spent basically trying to eat/get some chores done/feed the kids/trying to keep them happy/changing diapers/trying to get them to nap. Never seeing any adult or doing anything constructive.... never feeling that you've actually accomplished something.

It's probably hard to see now, but there are a lot of good things about being a working mom.
 
That sounds like a really long day! I'm not sure if fenugreek will help with pumping - I took it for a while but I had low supply all around. I was never really able to get much from pumping unless I was really full and she hadn't nursed in a while (usually at night). Some people just cannot pump much... it sucks.

I would suggest pumping in the middle of the night if he is sleeping well, because supply is higher then and you are more relaxed. But that might be hard to do when you are up so early.

As a side note I was always told to take fenugreek AND blessed thistle together for best results. And it was more than what's on the bottle - I *think* it was 3 pills each, three times a day. Or maybe 4x4... and then cut back as needed once you are seeing results.

I can relate to Fran's point of view though too. I stayed home for a year and was totally ready to go back to work at probably 6 months. Every one is different but I enjoyed going back to work. But that was after a year, I know you didn't get that much time off!
 
I got way more milk with a hand pump and hand expressing than I did with a hospital grade pump.

It does get A LOT easier, Finley will get less tired as he gets used to napping there and the activity. But honestly, I hate it, 9 months later. I want to go back to being a SAHM mom. It's not even the time apart so much...it's how exhausted I am when we do spend time together. We're always rushed. I have less patience. I see all the cute library programs and mommy and me crap all day and I hate missing it.

It won't be this hard forever. It's never easy though :( in sorry you're going through it too.
 
I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Due date is Nov. 20th.


Someone slap me. Hard.

Nervous. Excited. Terrified. Hormonal (had SO MUCH RAGE today in a fight with my husband. Lol.) Hungry. Nauseated. Exhausted.

We have only told a few people...our parents, my boss, and my coworker.


So much terror lol.
 
Torch said:
I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Due date is Nov. 20th.


Someone slap me. Hard.

Nervous. Excited. Terrified. Hormonal (had SO MUCH RAGE today in a fight with my husband. Lol.) Hungry. Nauseated. Exhausted.

We have only told a few people...our parents, my boss, and my coworker.


So much terror lol.
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Congrats Torch! We're allllmost due date twinsies! :) I've been told the terror is normal, if that helps at all. ;)
 
Oh and Jules - is it possible you're drinking less water since returning to work? Even a tiny amount can make a huge difference in your supply. Same with food as well. I had to eat and drink a ton to keep my supply from dropping.

Torch - congrats!!!!
 
Congrats torch! The freak out is normal!


Jules -I wanted to go back to work and still had the am I doing the right thing and felt pulled both ways. So glad I went because I think playing with other kids at my friends was so good for him. He wouldn't have gotten it being home with me. My nephew is terrified of other kids and I see where we would be. I'm not a lets to socialize person. We are home and there is work to be done!

Remember there is no wrong decision now to. It's whatever you need to do. If it's to hard see if you can reprioratize and go back in a few years? Less of something may make it work. Is your job something you can do prn? From home? Nights?
 
Congratulations torch!!

The working thing is totally a no one wins argument because everyone and every situation is different. You know my views jules :)

I'm quitting my job. My very well paid and interesting job... It's scary as hell. But each day I find reasons why it's the right thing to do (for us). I've spent the best past of 15 years looking after other people's children. That's a long time. And I think we're so programmed to work work work work work. Accumulate things, debts, cars, houses that when you actively opt out of that... Omg. Terrifying. I'm extremely lucky that we can live on one wage. And my other half works from home so he wins too if I'm home as he also gets his little girl home all day.

I know there's going to be brain numbing boring days. And days I regret it. But is not forever. It's just a TINY time in her life. And sometimes I get excited about what we are going to learn together (we went looking for tadpoles the other day lol she's not even 4 months yet!). In a blink she'll be in nursery and I can go back to working (or make more babies?!!!).

I have anxiety even writing that I'm giving up work and question it every day. I've always had my own income. We have separate bank accounts. I'm independent and I like doing my own thing and going my own places and effectively I'll have to ask for money to do that!!!! But.... Guess I'll get used to it.

So...... There's no perfect solution. If you're home you wonder if it's right. If you're at work you wonder the same. You just have to choose which one you want to do and what your life goals are.

And I don't know if people are just busier than me but I never really get bogged down with chores and baby?! My partner helps out a lot. Maybe that's the difference?! Anyone who says being a mum is a hard job has never been a social worker hahahahahaha. It's a bloody joy being a mum. I feel privileged not remotely stressed. And she wakes hourly at night in case you think I think I have perfect baby hahahaha. She isn't perfect, but isn't that what we sign up for?!
 
Getting bogged down with chores is kind of up and down. When I stayed home mosyly chores was easy but there were definitely periods where lillian would need constant attention and I couldn't get much done. She spent a lot of time wanting to be carried around and was never content to be held when I was sitting. Plus if you pump it eats up hours of your time, prepping formula can be almost as bad. I couldn't use stairs for the first six weeks or lift anything heavier than her so for 6 weeks all laundry had to be done by someone else. That's where my difficulties came in. She was also an extremely light sleeper which meant I couldnt/still can't clean the bedroom or put stuff away in there when she's sleeping.

Have you seen the video that's like why moms of toddlers never get anything done? It's surprisingly accurate. As she got older cleaning up after her became nearly a FT job in its self. I didn't find it too hard to keep up with chores (mostly) when I stayed home...but now I feel like I hardly have time to grocery shop much less clean house.
 
For me, stating at home has never been boring nor particularly hard. Sure some individual days sucked but I really really hated working so almost anything was better.

I also don't care about a perfect house or worry about getting enough done. Even now there are plenty of nights where it's oops, didn't make it to the store so grab dinner on the way home. I can see where it would be really hard for people who really like to plan or have set goals each day to adjust as yeah, that is usually not going to happen, especially when they are really young.

My ob actually really helped with my adjustment as well. She said "your job for at least the next 6 weeks is just to feed and care for your baby. It's going to feel like all you do in a day is feed, and that's ok". Simple I know but it really helped me just let go and relax.
 
Yeah I kind of just leave the jobs I can't be bothered to do lol. They always get done eventually by someone :D like right now I've just done food shopping and my car is full but she needed feeding the and she's being cute so it is sat in the car. She'll be a bit bigger tomorrow. Food unpacking can wait.
 
Jules said:
Here's my rant: working sucks! It's not so much work (even though I am not sure how I am going to keep up with work and pumping at the moment) it's life around work.

...

Any tips for increasing pumping output? I've thought about taking fenugreek but I am not sure if that would help with pumping or just increase my overall supply (and don't want to have too much either).
Click to expand...

Working totally sucks. And the first part when they're so small is really freaking hard. Complain all you need to (((hugs))).

Fenugreek worked great for me (and it makes you smell like maple syrup which may or may not be a plus for you). Adding in extra pumping sessions can help increase supply too, but don't do it at the cost of your sanity. I always preferred to have oversupply because I had massive paranoia around my supply but it definitely presents it's own set of problems.

Jules said:
We get to the daycare at 3.45 p.m. and Finn has been just exhausted at night... understandably so. But it just feels like I am not getting any quality time with my precious baby and it just makes me sad. Then I'm home and it seems like all I've been doing is eat dinner/ feed/ try to snuggle a sleepy baby/ prepare for the next day/ pay some sort of attention to T-Bone and the cats.
Click to expand...

This gets better. Being in daycare is exhausting - Falon comes home completely burnt every Monday and she's been in daycare for two years. Once Finn acclimates a little and he gets older/awake more it'll get easier.

Let the chores go, seriously. Pumping/working/baby/animals are hard enough, chores that aren't absolutely crucial can wait. Once I got settled into a routine for workdays everything got a lot easier - I also had a friend come in during the first winter and run my dogs which was a LIFESAVER. If you can afford it, having someone come in to clean every other week might help your sanity too (we don't do this but I kind of wish we did because **** cleaning).
 
Thanks, guys. I'm glad terror is normal. LOL.

Really, we are excited, but a little overwhelmed too, but in a good way. Big life changes are always that way.

I had my first appointment at the birthing center where I want to deliver and met a couple of the midwives. It was a really awesome place, looked like an all female practice, which I feel most comfortable with. All of the midwives are certified nurse midwives who also have their master's degrees in midwifery. There are lactation specialists there too.

I elected to have pretty much minimal interventions. I had blood work done to test for all the basic stuff, but I'm waiting to have an ultrasound done until my second trimester, where they'll be able to measure the baby more accurately. I'm ok with being tested as a carrier for a few genetic diseases, but beyond that I don't know that I'll do much screening on the baby. I want this pregnancy to progress naturally without all the interventions modern medicine forces on women. Call me crazy. Lol.
 
Torch said:
I had my first appointment at the birthing center where I want to deliver and met a couple of the midwives. It was a really awesome place, looked like an all female practice, which I feel most comfortable with. All of the midwives are certified nurse midwives who also have their master's degrees in midwifery. There are lactation specialists there too.

I elected to have pretty much minimal interventions. I had blood work done to test for all the basic stuff, but I'm waiting to have an ultrasound done until my second trimester, where they'll be able to measure the baby more accurately. I'm ok with being tested as a carrier for a few genetic diseases, but beyond that I don't know that I'll do much screening on the baby. I want this pregnancy to progress naturally without all the interventions modern medicine forces on women. Call me crazy. Lol.
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Sounds a lot like my birth center! I love the midwives and staff and feel so comfortable with it!

My first appointment is Monday and I do want to see/hear a heartbeat. I'm sure they'll do bloodwork, too. I'm hoping to come up with a hybrid care plan - minimize things like ultrasounds but still include genetic screenings within reason for example.
 
I didn't know people usually got sonos before the first trimester? Lol. With Lillian I had one done at the ER just because I got so dehydrated, and with this baby I had one done because we weren't sure about conception date.

I have had the NT scan done with both babies just because of my medication, spina bifida is a realistic concern. Otherwise I'm pretty sure my midwives just do the anatomy scan, and an NST if you go over your due date. I guess everyone gets the NT scan offered and also I'm assuming if they don't hear the heartbeat on doppler then they do a scan.

I don't know what interventions they typically do during pregnancy lol. Normally it seems like those all happen during labor.
 
We only have 2 scans in the UK. We had more because I had bleeds in the first tri. And we got a couple privately.

I know you're going to have heard this a million times, but research the alternatives to natural birth alongside your plans as in the UNLIKELY event you need interventions you need to be able to make informed decisions. Don't just put that to one side if it's not your plan.

Is my advice :) I wanted a home birth, didn't get it this time. Next time ;)
 
Spent all night in the ER. After a week of not vomiting I started last night and threw up around 30 times in two hours. It would.not.stop. Got two bags of fluids and a 4th nausea med to try. So far doesn't seem to be helping. May need repeat IV nausea treatments
 
Dizzy said:
I know you're going to have heard this a million times, but research the alternatives to natural birth alongside your plans as in the UNLIKELY event you need interventions you need to be able to make informed decisions. Don't just put that to one side if it's not your plan.
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I do hear this ALL the time. I'm already working on my plans for a mama/baby friendly c-section if it comes to that. I'm also going to be getting feedback and research lined up behind some of the more possibly needed interventions and asking my midwives about rules regarding postdates. Contingency plans are important!
 
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