*vent* So I'll probably never be able to have kids

[~Dixie's_Mom~]

(((((hug)))))) I do want kids, badly, and though I haven't been diagnosed, I believe I have PCOS. I've never had monthly lady times. I have them occasionally but far apart. No one knows and I'm 20. I never heard of PCOS until recently, so I just thought I was weird or that it was due to my weight and they'd pick up if I lost weight (which still could be the case). Anyway, just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I think when I hear it from a dr. is when it'll really hit me though.

 

[Kristen1980]

(((((((( hugs))))))))

Don't ever give up hope!!

 

[Fran101]

Thanks guys I am feeling better.. I haven't told my mom yet but I will.
I am going to tell her and then go get some second opinions.

I had an operation to remove some rather large and prominent ovarian cysts a while ago.. and this seems to have caused a lot of damage. (and I need to go back again for the same surgery to have more removed)
One of my ovaries is totally not working. and the one that is has some severe scarring from it's previous and current cysts, as well as some bad scarring in my fallopian tube.

ugh. I honestly had no idea it all was so complicated down there. My doctor was nice and explained everything but it's just so.. frustrating.

I dunno, I have never thought so hard about babies in my entire life. but I mean, the way I see it.. it could be so much worse. I have to remember that.
I am otherwise, mostly, healthy.

and you guys are right, if I do want the picket fence and baby one day.. there are other ways to raise a family.

 

[Panzerotti]

There is a great book that I recommend to anyone who wants to understand what exactly is going on with their monthly cycles, fertility, etc. It's called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" http://www.tcoyf.com/

I am a Biomedical Biology major and also have 2 years of an undergrad in Registered Nursing. This book is great for relaying accurate information in a method that is not that hard to understand.

 

[Zoom]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes it's just the shock of having an option seemingly taken away that makes you go all nutty about wanting it.

I know a lady who was told she'd never conceive, her plumbing was just waaaay too messed up, periods were wonky, endo like whoa...and her twin boys--conceived naturally (and accidentally) just turned 2. So, don't give up hope now.

 

[Renee750il]

Fran, I have a quote for you

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you. Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places
and those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

(((((((HUGS)))))))

And you'll never be the crazy cat lady.

Crazy dog lady, maybe . . . . . I KID! (you had better be giggling just a little now)

 

[HayleyMarie]

(((((HUGGIES))))) Fran, I have no idea how you must feel, but I can kinnda guess. If I were in your shoes though, I know how I would feel.

Your a strong, powerful woman and in this day and age there is always options and things to try. Try to think positivly. We are always here for you if you ever need to vent and talk <3

 

[JacksonsMom]

Ah, crud, I'm sorry Fran. I know what you mean... I am 21 and have NO plans for kids anytime soon but like to think that I want one or two in the future if I find a good man. And it would bother me if someone told me my chances were very low to have them, even though I don't have any plans to, just ugh... I don't have any advice or words but you are just the most awesome person in the world and I just wanna give you ((HUGS)).

 

[Doberluv]

I'm sorry Fran. That can be devastating news to some, disappointing and worrying to others and for some, it works out.

But I agree with the others that doctors definitely don't always get everything right at all. When I was younger and had my first, then my second, my friend had been trying to get pregnant for a long time. They tried and tried, had a multitude of tests. Her Fallopian tubes and ovaries were all messed up with lots of scar tissue. Her husband was allergic to his own sperm, what little he had left after his anti-bodies would kill the sperm. What sperm managed to get passed over by his immune system couldn't swim. (low motility). Between the two of them, they were the epitome of Murphy's law. Everything that could go wrong was wrong. They tried growing the sperm outside and doing invitro. They tried all kinds of things and nothing worked. This went on for quite a few years.

They finally adopted a darling baby boy. I don't think it was as much as two months later that they got pregnant. And the baby totally looked very much like the Dad and her too....so I know she wasn't fooling around. LOL.

So, that could come to pass for you. Or adoption. You'd be helping a little one who might otherwise never have such a nice parent. Or you might decide parenting isn't all it's cracked up to be. You have time to sort it all out. You're still very young. Plus, there may come along some new medical procedure that can help. You just never know.

Do talk to your Mom if you're comfortable with that. She'd be your best support.

(((hugs)))

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

I'm just going to chime in and say there are so many options out there for creating a family--I have known quite a few people who "couldn't have children' who then proved the dr's wrong--some things are greater than any of us can imagine.
You will figure this out--just like you have figured out other hurdles in your life.

 

[RD]

Fran hon, I'm in the same boat and I cried reading your post because I've had the exact same thoughts - what if the person I'm with finds someone who CAN bear their children and that's their excuse for leaving? It's easy for someone young (especially a dude) to say they don't care about kids, but when they get older they might.

I dunno. It's a weird feeling, it's disappointing even though we never really planned on kids. Not quite sure how to handle it so I'm not sure what advice to give you, but hang in there. ***hugs***