Are you sure we aren't related:lol-sign:. I never tell myparents anything but the stuff I know they will approve off as well. Two weeks ago I got stabbed with a pen in school. I had to go to the nurse and after I had washed off the blood and put a plaster on it she took me to my head of year to report the person that did it to me. On my way home we were talking about it on the bus and when I got off the bus I took of the plaster and walked in without telling my parents anything. Unfortunately one of the girls on my bus goes to the same youth club as my sister so she told my sister and my sister told my mum. I got in trouble for not telling her but I just don't care and after all if it has taken that long for them to realize then it is too late. They didn't know I was being bullied in school until they accidently saw the bruises. They also didn't know that my dog Fudge is slightly DR until they actually came to watch me at agility two months after started. My parents know nothing about my life at all and that's the way I like it.
Sometimes it's just better that way. Mine know NOTHING about me -- my external or internal life, and that's the way it has to be.
Hell, even if I let them in, they still wouldn't
It would be like . . . like . . . beagles finding out they were raising a cougar kitten . . . or a Fila :rofl1:
Hell, even if I let them in, they still wouldn't
It would be like . . . like . . . beagles finding out they were raising a cougar kitten . . . or a Fila :rofl1:
My daughter tells me practically everything. We talk about the most disgusting things. She gives me more information than I care to have about her sex life and everything else. lol. Her friends can't believe the things we talk about and think it's great that we have so much fun together.
People have mistaken us for sisters when we go out. (either she looks old or I look young) The last time we went to karaoke, a guy indicated something to me, as he nodded toward Emily....that we must like a little spanky or whips. Good grief! What an idiot! I told him, "Helloooooo. She's my daughter!" And he was so embarrassed, said, "She's your daughter????" And apologized profusely. LOL.
I like having such a close relationship with my daughter. My son and I are close, but not in the same way. We don't have as much in common, since we're not of the same sex. And guys don't usually go into the details that girls will about their personal feelings and so forth. We do go out together occassionally, though, shoot some pool and have a beer.
If you like not including your Mom into your personal life, you'd reeeeeelly like seeing if you could bring her into your world more in a fun way.
People have mistaken us for sisters when we go out. (either she looks old or I look young) The last time we went to karaoke, a guy indicated something to me, as he nodded toward Emily....that we must like a little spanky or whips. Good grief! What an idiot! I told him, "Helloooooo. She's my daughter!" And he was so embarrassed, said, "She's your daughter????" And apologized profusely. LOL.
I like having such a close relationship with my daughter. My son and I are close, but not in the same way. We don't have as much in common, since we're not of the same sex. And guys don't usually go into the details that girls will about their personal feelings and so forth. We do go out together occassionally, though, shoot some pool and have a beer.
If you like not including your Mom into your personal life, you'd reeeeeelly like seeing if you could bring her into your world more in a fun way.
No it wasn't just a general statement after Jules mentioned in another thread why people feel the need to tell others who to parent.
I agree with the above... although I think if you get to the teenage stage and haven't implemented punishment before then it's too late to start and hope for it to work.
AND think also that most kids are better behaved for "outsiders" like daycare and such than they are for their own parents... well... USUALLY.
I remember my aunt telling me about this one little boy she had in her daycare. she runs one out of her home and is pretty... in demand. anyway this little boy came to her and his parents fed him nothing but junk food. he was overweight, hyper active and wouldn't listen to anything or anyone.
lunch time came around and she had a healthy lunch made for the chidlren. he refused to eat it. he wanted junk food and she flat out refused to give it to him so he refused to eat. she told him that was fine he didn't HAVE to eat but he was going to sit in the lunch room with the rest of the kids while lunch was underway and wasn't going to be allowed to run around the house. he sat there and waited. After lunch the kids got a cookie. Well he also wanted a cookie. My aunt told him he would not get a cookie because he did not eat his lunch. he changed his tune PRETTY quickly about eating his healthy lunch when he found out he A) wasn't going to get anything else and B) wasn't going to get a cookie without eating his lunch. and he ate lunch for her every single day after that but I bet when he went home he ate nothing but junk because he knew his parents would give it to him.
Kids are clever that way and learn pretty quickly what they can and can't get away with and with whom they can and can't get away with things. BUT ... they will continue to test the boundaries just to see especially when they are establishing their sense of independance.
just a general statement after Jules mentioned in another thread why people feel the need to tell others who to parent.I agree with the above... although I think if you get to the teenage stage and haven't implemented punishment before then it's too late to start and hope for it to work.
AND think also that most kids are better behaved for "outsiders" like daycare and such than they are for their own parents... well... USUALLY.
I remember my aunt telling me about this one little boy she had in her daycare. she runs one out of her home and is pretty... in demand. anyway this little boy came to her and his parents fed him nothing but junk food. he was overweight, hyper active and wouldn't listen to anything or anyone.
lunch time came around and she had a healthy lunch made for the chidlren. he refused to eat it. he wanted junk food and she flat out refused to give it to him so he refused to eat. she told him that was fine he didn't HAVE to eat but he was going to sit in the lunch room with the rest of the kids while lunch was underway and wasn't going to be allowed to run around the house. he sat there and waited. After lunch the kids got a cookie. Well he also wanted a cookie. My aunt told him he would not get a cookie because he did not eat his lunch. he changed his tune PRETTY quickly about eating his healthy lunch when he found out he A) wasn't going to get anything else and B) wasn't going to get a cookie without eating his lunch. and he ate lunch for her every single day after that but I bet when he went home he ate nothing but junk because he knew his parents would give it to him.
Kids are clever that way and learn pretty quickly what they can and can't get away with and with whom they can and can't get away with things. BUT ... they will continue to test the boundaries just to see especially when they are establishing their sense of independance.
I've noticed an interesting trend in some parents; they don't punish or discipline their kid because they think that their child will somehow grow into a pleasant adult by instinct. I think the idea is that every child is a good person from the start, and that they'll see mom and dad as good models of what to be, and they'll instinctively end up like them.
What do y'all think, is there any truth to that at all? I know parents should model the behaviors they want, but what about a kid picking up on all the nuances? Is it better for the child to be told what not to do, rather than not seeing the behavior and deciding, on their own, not to do do something?
Personally, I've always thought that kids need clear boundaries and consistancy for any parenting style to work.
What do y'all think, is there any truth to that at all? I know parents should model the behaviors they want, but what about a kid picking up on all the nuances? Is it better for the child to be told what not to do, rather than not seeing the behavior and deciding, on their own, not to do do something?
Personally, I've always thought that kids need clear boundaries and consistancy for any parenting style to work.
Well, just from reading the letter written by the Columbine mom, that puts the lie to the theory that kids just absorb perfect behavior by osmosis. By her own words, she raised her boy in a caring, supportive environment. Her boy still perpetrated one of the biggest massacres in recent history. I'm not saying she did something wrong in how she raised her kid, because as we all know and have already said, kids are their own people and sometimes, despite our best efforts, they will turn out to be woefully misguided through forces out of our control.
No... I don't think that is true at all. I mean yes you should teach by doing.... but kids don't learn to lie by watching their parents or learn to throw tantrums by watching their parents. it is something that tends to come naturally to them and they will experiment with. but as a parent you have to nip it in the bud. but no one has to teach a child how to lie... it's just something they figure out and test out.
Every kid is different, you have to find what works best for them.
Some might need a slapped while other a no was enough. When I was
younger, I needed a slapped. No didn't mean anything to me. I am actually
very thankful for that. Tough love.
:lol-sign:
I agree my mom tried so hard with me but I still ended up getting in trouble, many times.
Some might need a slapped while other a no was enough. When I was
younger, I needed a slapped. No didn't mean anything to me. I am actually
very thankful for that. Tough love.
:lol-sign:
I agree my mom tried so hard with me but I still ended up getting in trouble, many times.
I hated face slaps ! Bottoms only to my kids ! Once it came back to haunt my Mother . I would meet her after school where she was doing Red Cross during WW2 . Once she turned to me quickly and I ducked and covered my face . She was mortified and asked me later why I did that . Told her the truth , I thought she was going to slap me . That's why I always sent my kids to their rooms. Thinking time for them and cool down time for me !
I would just like to share a story... As a riding instructor I saw lots of kids.
One girl started riding with me 11 years ago now, when she was in grade 8. I still talk to her on occasion. She practically lived here some summers. She was incredibly rude to her mother. I mean WOW! Her mom just acted like she didn't see it. This girl grew up to be a very polite honour student who was horrified how she treated her mother. (now just to say that her parents did have rules etc for her, but just didn't seem to care about rudeness)
I think a lot has to do with nature (ie genes, brain chemistry) etc. I saw great parents with horrid kids, great kids with some spectacularly horrid parents, and a lot of in between.
One girl started riding with me 11 years ago now, when she was in grade 8. I still talk to her on occasion. She practically lived here some summers. She was incredibly rude to her mother. I mean WOW! Her mom just acted like she didn't see it. This girl grew up to be a very polite honour student who was horrified how she treated her mother. (now just to say that her parents did have rules etc for her, but just didn't seem to care about rudeness)
I think a lot has to do with nature (ie genes, brain chemistry) etc. I saw great parents with horrid kids, great kids with some spectacularly horrid parents, and a lot of in between.
I remember my mom slapped my neice across the face ONE time ever. It was a reaction more than anything but my neice was being a holy terror that day and tormenting her brother and just being a BRAT all around (still is to this day at 16 years old lol and probably will be forever lol). My mom had finally had ENOUGH and told her to knock it off or else basically. at that point my neice turned to my mom and said "F you" and stuck out her tongue... OH yes... direct quote ... at like 7 years old. My mom couldn't believe it and she just reached out and smacked her right across the mouth. My neice was shocked... couldn't believe it. but it was more like "How DARE you smack me" Oh she's an ornary little pissant. and you know... that probably would have been my first reaction too. more than once I have wanted to smack her.
I honestly don't know how I would handle it if my daughter were EVER like that. I would NEVER dare to say that to my mother and NEVER NEVER NEVERRRRRRRRR even attempt to see how my grandmother would react LOL old school VERY old fashioned english woman who raised 4 boys? Yeah... don't mess with her.
I honestly don't know how I would handle it if my daughter were EVER like that. I would NEVER dare to say that to my mother and NEVER NEVER NEVERRRRRRRRR even attempt to see how my grandmother would react LOL old school VERY old fashioned english woman who raised 4 boys? Yeah... don't mess with her.