Parents..would you be mad?

[Saeleofu]

Special needs or not, bull. I was a special needs child, and I had manners. My parents could still control me. If I was acting up, one of them would take me to the car- you know, AWAY from other people. And I sure as hell wouldn't have gone hugging anyone.

Quite frankly, if ANYONE touches me unexpectedly, be it child or adult, they're going to be pushed/blocked/backhanded. I don't deal well with unexpected touch. AT ALL.

 

[Grab]

I don't see why someone cannot dress nicely at work. I work at a vet's office..I know I'll get hairy, bloody and nasty..I do not wear white (although some do...brave souls). In other setting, people can dress nicely. Who is to say it's an establishment that is geared towards kids. I frequently eat at a restaurant that is not kid oriented..a quiet setting, nice plate settings..an adult atmosphere. Rarely are kids under 8 or so there, but once in awhile someone takes their young child there anyway and we all have to listen to noisy, messy kids rather than the piano player.

When I have a child, I'll expect that I myself will get dirty, puked on, etc once in awhile. But, my choice to have a child does not mean that others need to be grossed up by said child. (although I cannot imagine not wiping sauce off a child in the first place...I am fairly certain I wouldn't let my kid around sauce at all until they were old enough to eat properly...because ew) And I still wouldn't want other people's kid's nastiness on me.

I fail to see how a desire to stay clean and not have sauce plastered across ones person (and, likely missing out on the rest of their paid shift, as I cannot imagine a manager wanting their wait staff to walk around looking like they took place in a pasta massacre for the rest of the day) makes one sound "rich" "snobby" or "spoiled". Someone should not have to wear black, drab clothing on the off chance someone launches a kid at them.

I know parents are used to getting stickied up, etc. Just as I don't think twice about some dog hair on me when I walk out the door. But, not everyone is a parent or pet owner.

 

[AllieMackie]

I think it is wrong to stick out an object "like a stick" knowing the child is going to run into it.

But it's right to send your child, covered in leftover dirt, to hug someone wearing clean clothes during her work hours?

I don't hate children. Sure, Fran might have handled the situation better, any of us might have handled such a situation better or worse than her. I think it's a bit crass to say that what she did was wrong.

The way the parents allowed their child to run and hug a stranger who may not like kids very much and may not appreciate having her clothing covered in stains while working, that is what was wrong here.

ETA: to be clear, I am not blaming the child here either, so please don't place your own children in this situation. I'm blaming the parents.

 

[cricketsmygirl]

Well, if your children need more time to learn how to behave in restaurants then they do not belong in restaurants. Period.

You can not tell me there haven't been any times your children didn't make messes in restaurants or do something they shouldn't have. Not to mention, I'm sorry but I'm not going to NOT take my child to eat just because they're a baby. And secondly I wasn't saying my children, I said some children.

My son, yea he's messy...he's one...and he was three months early, he has a long list of health problems and often gets sick and has weight issues. It's in my court orders when I'm out with him we are to go somewhere where he can sit quietly and eat. and it has to be healthy...no more fast food. SO tell me....would you decline my special needs child food because he makes messes, screams so loud your ear drums cry for help and tries to grab at people because he wants attention? If your answer is yes...I would have your job pretty quick with one simple call to my lawyer.

 

[sparks19]

Sparks, I think she was talking to CMG on that one, not you.

Did Fran handle this with the grace and poise of the Queen herself? No. No one is saying she was 100% in the right. But neither is she 100% in the wrong. That's all.

well still... I don't go to starbucks... I'm holding out for TIM HORTONS to come to PA :rofl1: it's against my culture to go anywhere else :lol-sign:

 

[Laurelin]

But it's right to send your child, covered in leftover dirt, to hug someone wearing clean clothes during her work hours?

I don't hate children. Sure, Fran might have handled the situation better, any of us might have handled such a situation better or worse than her. I think it's a bit crass to say that what she did was wrong.

The way the parents allowed their child to run and hug a stranger who may not like kids very much and may not appreciate having her clothing covered in stains while working, that is what was wrong here.

No one is saying what the parents did was right, but just that it could have been handled better.

 

[Zoom]

Sparks, I'm going to have to try some of this fabled Tim Hortons sometime...

CMG: If you are so rude and crass as to ruin everyone else's evening because you can't be arsed to properly cook for your kid at home, that's a different story all together. If your child can't control themselves in public, they don't belong in a nice restaurant. And if you don't think it's fair that you should have to exert yourself to control your children in any manner when out in public at all, then perhaps you don't belong at a restaurant either.

 

[Saeleofu]

If your answer is yes...I would have your job pretty quick with one simple call to my lawyer.

Oh yes, suing is the answer to all the world's problems.

How about this. Part of my disability is sounds sensitivity. So by bringing your kid that "screams so loud your eardrums cry for help" would be interfering with my job. How about I sue you for lost wages after having to go home from sensory overload?

 

[AllieMackie]

No one is saying what the parents did was right, but just that it could have been handled better.

Oh, I agree that it could have been handled better. But as many are placing their children in this child's situation, I can't help but place myself in Fran's situation and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing, or potentially something "worse" like laying a hand on the child to keep them from staining my clothing.

 

[Saeleofu]

CMG: If you are so rude and crass as to ruin everyone else's evening because you can't be arsed to properly cook for your kid at home, that's a different story all together. If your child can't control themselves in public, they don't belong in a nice restaurant. And if you don't think it's fair that you should have to exert yourself to control your children in any manner when out in public at all, then perhaps you don't belong at a restaurant either.

THIS. It's all about REASONABLE accommodation. Most people just read "accommodation" and forget the "REASONABLE" part.

 

[sparks19]

But it's right to send your child, covered in leftover dirt, to hug someone wearing clean clothes during her work hours?

I don't hate children. Sure, Fran might have handled the situation better, any of us might have handled such a situation better or worse than her. I think it's a bit crass to say that what she did was wrong.

The way the parents allowed their child to run and hug a stranger who may not like kids very much and may not appreciate having her clothing covered in stains while working, that is what was wrong here.

ETA: to be clear, I am not blaming the child here either, so please don't place your own children in this situation. I'm blaming the parents.

I think I made it pretty clear that I said it was NOT right what the parents did. I can go back and quote myself but I'll let you check if you wish.

BUT I do believe her reaction was the wrong one... and at the risk of being repetitive... two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[AllieMackie]

Sparks, I'm going to have to try some of this fabled Tim Hortons sometime...

*adds that to the Zoom & Allie Shenaniganery To-Do List*

 

[drmom777]

You can not tell me there haven't been any times your children didn't make messes in restaurants or do something they shouldn't have. Not to mention, I'm sorry but I'm not going to NOT take my child to eat just because they're a baby. And secondly I wasn't saying my children, I said some children.

My son, yea he's messy...he's one...and he was three months early, he has a long list of health problems and often gets sick and has weight issues. It's in my court orders when I'm out with him we are to go somewhere where he can sit quietly and eat. and it has to be healthy...no more fast food. SO tell me....would you decline my special needs child food because he makes messes, screams so loud your ear drums cry for help and tries to grab at people because he wants attention? If your answer is yes...I would have your job pretty quick with one simple call to my lawyer.

I also have a special needs child. I don't see how that is the problem of waitstaff and especially other diners. I think if your child makes a mess and screams loudly in restaurants you should feed him at home or only at restaurants specifically geared for children, and loud ones at that. People like you help foster resentment about disabled people by showing them in the worst possible light.

Remember, other people are in these restaurants, and they have paid money to have a treat which includes atmosphere as well as food. I am assuming you hustle him out of these restaurants at the first shriek. That is really your only recourse in this situation.

 

[cricketsmygirl]

Sparks, I'm going to have to try some of this fabled Tim Hortons sometime...

CMG: If you are so rude and crass as to ruin everyone else's evening because you can't be arsed to properly cook for your kid at home, that's a different story all together. If your child can't control themselves in public, they don't belong in a nice restaurant. And if you don't think it's fair that you should have to exert yourself to control your children in any manner when out in public at all, then perhaps you don't belong at a restaurant either.

I do cook for my children at home but if we are out away from home and not expected to be back in less then an hour and my son is hungry it is in my court order he be provided food, somewhere healthy. Firstly, I'm not going to starve my child because for example he had a doctors apt. or whatever and we won't be home for a while. Hell his doctors office is an hour away in the first place. I'm sorry about your luck but I'd like firstly for my child to eat, secondly not to go against court orders because I don't want to lose my children thank you and have a very (NOT) NICE DAY!

 

[AllieMackie]

I think I made it pretty clear that I said it was NOT right what the parents did. I can go back and quote myself but I'll let you check if you wish.

BUT I do believe her reaction was the wrong one... and at the risk of being repetitive... two wrongs don't make a right.

Right, her reaction wasn't the best, but neither was anyone's in this situation, except perhaps Fran's manager.

 

[cricketsmygirl]

I also have a special needs child. I don't see how that is the problem of waitstaff and especially other diners. I think if your child makes a mess and screams loudly in restaurants you should feed him at home or only at restaurants specifically geared for children, and loud ones at that. People like you help foster resentment about disabled people by howing them in the worst possible light.

Remember, other people are in these restaurants, and they have paid money to have a treat which includes atmosphere as well as food. I am assuming you hustle him out of these restaurants at the first shriek. That is really your only recourse in this situation.

As I've already said, court orders, I follow them or lose my children. If I'm far away from home and my son is hungry, I feed him. Sorry that you cannot understand that apparently you've never had to care for a child with failure to thrive, acid reflux, milk allergy and numerous other problems.

 

[Grab]

I think it's highly irresponsible for a parent to keep eating while their kid is throwing a screaming fit in a restaurant. Generally a parent would leave with that child until they calm down. And I've never heard of a court order saying where a kid needs to eat....if he needs a quiet place to eat healthy food, he should be eating at home.

 

[sparks19]

Sparks, I'm going to have to try some of this fabled Tim Hortons sometime...

CMG: If you are so rude and crass as to ruin everyone else's evening because you can't be arsed to properly cook for your kid at home, that's a different story all together. If your child can't control themselves in public, they don't belong in a nice restaurant. And if you don't think it's fair that you should have to exert yourself to control your children in any manner when out in public at all, then perhaps you don't belong at a restaurant either.

oh how I miss my timmy's. not just their coffee... although it was timmy's that got me started on coffee in the first place lol. but their everything bagels with garlic and herb creame cheese. their tea biscuits (scones for some) their soups and chili and sandwiches... mmmmmmmmmm.

I mourn for timmy's lol.

now I DO have to agree that if you can't control your child or remove them from the restaurant when they are having a fit you probably shoudln't take them there. I do NOT bring hannah places and allow her to act out. will she reach out and touch the waitress from time to time... yes but I don't encourage it... and most places we go we are imtimately familiar with the wait staff lol. so much so that they stop by the table even if they aren't serving us just to talk to hannah and comment on how big she is getting too fast.... she even has a boyfriend at one restaurant lol.

but if she were screaming and crying I would remove her. she is not permitted to leave her seat and knows it and she needs to use her indoor voice.

NOW I won't pretend that she is the perfect child everytime we go out. she's 2 and a half years old... she's prone to break downs and child hood foolery. I correct her. she can fool around at home or at the park.

BUT... I would expect an employee at said place would have some experience with handling kids. if there is a kids menu... expect to have children and learn how to handle it

 

[Zoom]

So you can't, oh I don't know, think ahead and prepare something to take with you? Restaurant food really isn't terribly healthy. You're really the last person in this thread who should be giving out advice right now, ok sweetie?

 

[drmom777]

As I've already said, court orders, I follow them or lose my children. If I'm far away from home and my son is hungry, I feed him. Sorry that you cannot understand that apparently you've never had to care for a child with failure to thrive, acid reflux, milk allergy and numerous other problems.

Did you ever think of carrying food you made at home. think lunch box.