For chazzers in long-term relationships - how often?
- Thread starter milos_mommy
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I have no problems with people who have different opinions than me.
However, my comment at you is nothing you haven't said to god knows how many parents in who knows how many venues. You are constantly yelling that people are being irresponsible for having their kids, the alternative being that their kids should not exist.
If my words are in any way insulting, or horrible, or as you put it "nasty"... when told to you, an adult. Then what does it make your words, the same words I've said, when directed to mere unborn children, toddlers, or teenagers? If I am nasty for insulting you, you must be quite a bit more horrible than I am for what you have to say about innocent children.
However, my comment at you is nothing you haven't said to god knows how many parents in who knows how many venues. You are constantly yelling that people are being irresponsible for having their kids, the alternative being that their kids should not exist.
If my words are in any way insulting, or horrible, or as you put it "nasty"... when told to you, an adult. Then what does it make your words, the same words I've said, when directed to mere unborn children, toddlers, or teenagers? If I am nasty for insulting you, you must be quite a bit more horrible than I am for what you have to say about innocent children.
I never said you were nasty, I never said anyone was nasty I just used the term nasty generally. I dont think that what you said was "nasty".
it was just funny to me that you said that my parents didnt think before they had me, which was NOT the case. they are very kind and caring people and the way I turned out isnt on them. I have never liked kids, when when I was a kid myself LOL. I either hung out with older kids or, more often with my animals.
And I am sorry when I am in the minority when I say that I dont like or see a purpose for kids or having them, and that everyone thinks their little snowflake is so special that everyone should love them, well I dont and keep them away from me.
Except Sparks19's kid Hannah, that kid is just so totally awesome that I wish all kids were like her, if they were I wouldnt have a problem with kids at all.
it was just funny to me that you said that my parents didnt think before they had me, which was NOT the case. they are very kind and caring people and the way I turned out isnt on them. I have never liked kids, when when I was a kid myself LOL. I either hung out with older kids or, more often with my animals.
And I am sorry when I am in the minority when I say that I dont like or see a purpose for kids or having them, and that everyone thinks their little snowflake is so special that everyone should love them, well I dont and keep them away from me.
Except Sparks19's kid Hannah, that kid is just so totally awesome that I wish all kids were like her, if they were I wouldnt have a problem with kids at all.
It would be MUCH easier to keep them away from you if you would just stop getting involved in these matters. I mean what you do is like showing up at Disneyland or Chuck E Cheese and going "dammit, why do I keep running into children! Your children suck people!"
Well **** lady if you just stayed out of people's business with kids they would have a much easier time keeping them away from you.
Well **** lady if you just stayed out of people's business with kids they would have a much easier time keeping them away from you.
its not so much the kids, as it really is not their fault. I mostly direct my disdain at the parents, who just expect everyone to deal with their kids meltdown and their tantrums. I guess why it bothers me is because there really arent that many ill behaved kids and babies here in this area and when there are, they stick out like sore thumbs, like I am not the only one who is looking at the parent like "really???" even other PARENTS and even other KIDS look at them like "are you KIDDING ME??" I even overheard one kid, who was like ... 5 asking his mom what was "wrong" with the kid and why he was doing that.
I know they're not little adults, and should be expected to act like them, but parent also need to be held accountable for their kids actions, and if your kid is having a full on melt down, its not fair to the kid OR anyone else in ear shot to just let it be and not do anything about it.
I know they're not little adults, and should be expected to act like them, but parent also need to be held accountable for their kids actions, and if your kid is having a full on melt down, its not fair to the kid OR anyone else in ear shot to just let it be and not do anything about it.
I dont know why I am still responding...but yeah, YOU dont have to deal with their tantrums or melt downs. You are free to walk away, ignore it, whatever. You dont know from just looking why the child may be having a melt down that day or why the parents may be doing what you think is nothing.
I can give the example of my little brother. He is very sick, chronically ill. He had a stroke at two which pretty severely affected him and also has been on steroids (and way worse) his whole life. Steroids affect mood and temper drastically. My mom was also a single parent. If we were at the grocery store getting groceries, you know, to eat and he had a fit, guess what? We really just had to get through it. Oh poor people who maybe had to listen to it for a couple minutes...the hardship that must have been for them
I can give the example of my little brother. He is very sick, chronically ill. He had a stroke at two which pretty severely affected him and also has been on steroids (and way worse) his whole life. Steroids affect mood and temper drastically. My mom was also a single parent. If we were at the grocery store getting groceries, you know, to eat and he had a fit, guess what? We really just had to get through it. Oh poor people who maybe had to listen to it for a couple minutes...the hardship that must have been for them
Actually, sometimes it IS fair to the kid to just let it be, depending WHY they're having a a tantrum in the first place. My son had a loud screaming tantrum at Home Depot today because I wouldn't let him eat some chewed gum he found on the floor and then he wanted me to carry him home (we walked, he weighs 50 lbs.). Should I just let him have it? The screaming would stop, but obviously that would be horrible. Should I have caved to his horrible behavior and carried him out like he wanted? Again, that would have taught him to scream and act horrible to get his way.
Sometimes tantrums have to be endured for the greater long term good. I'd rather raise a little boy who learned to be polite and get a few big tantrums out of the way early on, instead of have to deal with them constantly as he grows up into a giant man-boy who throws a fit if he doesn't get his way.
If you go in public, you risk encountering a parent having to teach their kids through tough love and having to hear a tantrum. That's life. Just like walking down the sidewalk you might get barked at by a random dog. Living in a community you're exposed to other members of the community. Don't like it, don't leave the house.
Sometimes tantrums have to be endured for the greater long term good. I'd rather raise a little boy who learned to be polite and get a few big tantrums out of the way early on, instead of have to deal with them constantly as he grows up into a giant man-boy who throws a fit if he doesn't get his way.
If you go in public, you risk encountering a parent having to teach their kids through tough love and having to hear a tantrum. That's life. Just like walking down the sidewalk you might get barked at by a random dog. Living in a community you're exposed to other members of the community. Don't like it, don't leave the house.
This pretty much sums up how I feel. Sure, I get irritated when parents decide to take their toddlers to a movie but I don't get hateful about it. I act like an adult and DEAL with it. The toddler can scream bloody murder all they want but the person I get annoyed with isn't the one screaming. The toddler didn't choose to drive themselves to the movie theater, which is something to keep in mind.
I would hope most people would choose to be the bigger person in these situations. Whether it's refraining from making condescending remarks about an individual's lifestyle choice or decision to have a child or choosing to have sex 25 times a week. Does it affect anyone's life but milos_mommy if she chooses to have a child? No it does not. Just like DD choosing to leave her dogs with her parents, the choices they make don't have any effect on any one of us. We as adults of (mostly) sound minds could stop these threads from going in circles and put the ignore feature to good use. Or I dunno, not visit threads if you know you lack the self-control to keep your negative thoughts about the matter to yourself.
FYI I was one of those parents that would let my toddler have a meltdown for a few minutes while at the grocery store. Why? So he would learn that throwing a tantrum wasn't a way to get what he wanted. If he didn't stop after 2-3 mins we went outside the store, simmered down and went right back in. If anything when we came back in I had a lot of people share in the camaraderie of survivng public, Chernobyl-sized toddler meltdowns. One more thing about kids having meltdowns in public...I hate it when people say the parent isn't "doing" anything to stop their child from acting a fool. Usually anything more than a stern whispered warning telling the kid to cut the nonsense out would create a bigger scene which would more than likely cause the kid to wail even louder and dramatically or make a fool of yourself for being louder and seemingly more ill-behaved than the kid screaming for SpongeBob shaped macaroni.
Wow, I think that was a rant about how derailed and nasty this thread got.
To get back on topic I wasn't actually going to contribute to this thread. I'm not currently in a long term relationship so sex doesn't happen these days.
I would hope most people would choose to be the bigger person in these situations. Whether it's refraining from making condescending remarks about an individual's lifestyle choice or decision to have a child or choosing to have sex 25 times a week. Does it affect anyone's life but milos_mommy if she chooses to have a child? No it does not. Just like DD choosing to leave her dogs with her parents, the choices they make don't have any effect on any one of us. We as adults of (mostly) sound minds could stop these threads from going in circles and put the ignore feature to good use. Or I dunno, not visit threads if you know you lack the self-control to keep your negative thoughts about the matter to yourself.
FYI I was one of those parents that would let my toddler have a meltdown for a few minutes while at the grocery store. Why? So he would learn that throwing a tantrum wasn't a way to get what he wanted. If he didn't stop after 2-3 mins we went outside the store, simmered down and went right back in. If anything when we came back in I had a lot of people share in the camaraderie of survivng public, Chernobyl-sized toddler meltdowns. One more thing about kids having meltdowns in public...I hate it when people say the parent isn't "doing" anything to stop their child from acting a fool. Usually anything more than a stern whispered warning telling the kid to cut the nonsense out would create a bigger scene which would more than likely cause the kid to wail even louder and dramatically or make a fool of yourself for being louder and seemingly more ill-behaved than the kid screaming for SpongeBob shaped macaroni.
Wow, I think that was a rant about how derailed and nasty this thread got.
To get back on topic I wasn't actually going to contribute to this thread. I'm not currently in a long term relationship so sex doesn't happen these days.