Do you want kids?

I'm late to the discussion (as always), so I doubt I'd have anything new to add.. but I'm a mom of two (for now) & this, thus far, is the biggest blessing of my life. There is nothing in the world I'd want more than to be around my kids, loving them, caring for them, teaching them, playing with them & of course, annoyed by them lol.

Some of you may remember our struggle to conceive. It took us 9 years to finally become parents. This gave us plenty of time to prepare, research & learn everything possible (well, at least I thought so) from books and other parents about parenting... Only to find out very soon after Katie's birth that she's a unique individual with unique personality and most of the guidelines are just that, they're to be used for references only, not to be applied to each and every situations literally.

Katie was 31 months when baby Rosie came and together they doubled my happiness :) I've never doubted my heart's ability to expand to include another child (or two :)). (After all, I've had 3 dogs for a while before kids and was able to love them all just equally & immensely). Rosie reaffirms the fact that every child is different and should be taught accordingly. Now that she is old enough to play with Katie, I can honestly say that nothing in the world can give me more pleasure than seeing the two of them playing together & loving on each other.

I know to each their own, so I'll only speak for myself :) I cannot imagine my life without my daughters. They're on top of our wish list when we got marriage, actually they're one of the reasons why we got marriage, they give us our greatest purpose in life, and last but not least, they're my daily reminder of God's graces & His presence in our lives.
 
Here's the thing about parental theories and opinions. You will have a ton of them leading up to pregnancy and childbirth. Then once the kid is here, a good 50% of that gets tossed out the window. Maybe more.

I had a lot of ideas how this parenthood thing was going to go. I point and laugh at my former self.
 
I doubt very much that I'll ever have kids. I don't have a ton of patience, and I don't like kids very much.

I know my dad would like grandchildren, and I'd like to do that for him, but that's not a great reason to have a baby. :rofl1:
 
Red.Apricot said:
I doubt very much that I'll ever have kids. I don't have a ton of patience, and I don't like kids very much.

I know my dad would like grandchildren, and I'd like to do that for him, but that's not a great reason to have a baby. :rofl1:
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My mom informed me a few months ago that she was ready to rock another grandchild. I was like that's nice good for you. Lol
 
I am super happy that Abrams is going to be the dog that my future child(ren) will grow up with. Which probably isn't a good reason to base timing on having a child...but dang it, Abrams would be that amazing childhood dog that is both a playmate, pillow, and protector.

We were at TSC today and a little three year old started screaming and crying. Abrams was VERY concerned. He was NOT happy that this child was upset and had they been closer I was worried he would have started barking at the parent trying to calm the child down. The parent points out Abrams to the child in an attempt to get her to stop crying and says, "Look, look at the doggy! Do you want to go see the doggy?" So they come over to say hello and ask if they can pet him. Abrams was SO HAPPY to have that little child pet him. He was so gentle and just loving.

So now I want a kid for my dog. :rofl1: Which is kind of backwards and not at all appropriate. But I figured it would be safe to post here. LOL
 
stafinois said:
Here's the thing about parental theories and opinions. You will have a ton of them leading up to pregnancy and childbirth. Then once the kid is here, a good 50% of that gets tossed out the window. Maybe more.

I had a lot of ideas how this parenthood thing was going to go. I point and laugh at my former self.
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I hear this a lot, but you know what, at least you had all that knowledge beforehand to pick through and use as needed. I'm honestly kind of appalled by how little research it seems the majority of parents-to-be put into planning for their child, whether it's on pregnancy, birth, or child rearing.

Why do people (not just here!) pick at those who ARE doing their research? So what if I spent all this time researching and planning and only use half of it? I'm STILL ahead of the game by having taken the time to investigate various options and angles to various situations and I'll be a more confident parent because of it!
 
As someone who is an *obsessive* researcher about All The Things I can say that there is such a thing as too much research-lol. I think with any living things, not just babies, it's a good idea to stack the deck with research, but also be prepared to have to throw some of that out when push comes to shove.
 
The only thing people need to know is attachment theory. Get that right and everything else will fall into place. You just want to create a stable happy person. If someone is stable, happy and confident the rest will come!

And babies and toddlers learn much like dogs. Lol. Simples.

And attachment theory is NOT attachment parenting. In case you're put off!! It's scientific based brain development stuff :) starts in the womb :)
 
stardogs said:
I hear this a lot, but you know what, at least you had all that knowledge beforehand to pick through and use as needed. I'm honestly kind of appalled by how little research it seems the majority of parents-to-be put into planning for their child, whether it's on pregnancy, birth, or child rearing.

Why do people (not just here!) pick at those who ARE doing their research? So what if I spent all this time researching and planning and only use half of it? I'm STILL ahead of the game by having taken the time to investigate various options and angles to various situations and I'll be a more confident parent because of it!
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I don't think it's the research that's lacking, but the complete lack of participation on the parents part period. You don't have to know **** about what "experts" say you should do to parent, but if you spend time with your kids and not rely on a TV, an electronic device, a school or a daycare to raise your child, you can probably figure it all out and be just fine in the end.

But most don't. They just don't ****ing care anymore. If it gets in the way of what they want at that moment it's a problem, thus most kids become problems. and many others seem to do anything for their kids, as long as it makes them look better in their neighbors eyes, it still doesn't have much to do with the kids.

Of course those are extremes. There are lots of parents that are involved and do the best they can. But it seems I see a lot more of the extremes lately, but that's with everything I guess. Nothing can be discussed as middle ground anymore, from politics to parenting and if you don't agree with me, I'll find someone on the internet that does :)
 
I don't know...I did a lot of research before I had my daughter (and will continue to as she grows) and I think it helped a hell of a lot. I'm not talking about big picture stuff like when to add siblings or homeschooling, etc, even...but stuff like how damaging letting them cry is, carseat safety stuff they don't put in the manual, products, etc.

Even with teething...without doing research, I probably would have used numbing gel and natural teething tablets someone bought for me. Turns out the first is deadly in babies and the second has been recalled for containing toxic ingredients. Or I'd have put my daughter in a front facing carrier without knowing they cause hip dysplasia.
 
Are you talking about the Hylands teething tablets?

That was such a crazy recall. People freaked out seeing "belladonna" in the ingredients totally forgetting that it was HOMEOPATHIC belladonna preparation and not actual belladonna.
 
*blackrose said:
I am super happy that Abrams is going to be the dog that my future child(ren) will grow up with. Which probably isn't a good reason to base timing on having a child...but dang it, Abrams would be that amazing childhood dog that is both a playmate, pillow, and protector.

We were at TSC today and a little three year old started screaming and crying. Abrams was VERY concerned. He was NOT happy that this child was upset and had they been closer I was worried he would have started barking at the parent trying to calm the child down. The parent points out Abrams to the child in an attempt to get her to stop crying and says, "Look, look at the doggy! Do you want to go see the doggy?" So they come over to say hello and ask if they can pet him. Abrams was SO HAPPY to have that little child pet him. He was so gentle and just loving.

So now I want a kid for my dog. :rofl1: Which is kind of backwards and not at all appropriate. But I figured it would be safe to post here. LOL
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My dog and I have the same reaction to a screaming child ... We both want to get as far away from it as possible. I also have had parents get to use my dogs to distract their kids ... As soon as I hear "look at the doggy! You want to see the doggy?" I GTFO as fast as I can.
 
stardogs said:
I hear this a lot, but you know what, at least you had all that knowledge beforehand to pick through and use as needed. I'm honestly kind of appalled by how little research it seems the majority of parents-to-be put into planning for their child, whether it's on pregnancy, birth, or child rearing.

Why do people (not just here!) pick at those who ARE doing their research? So what if I spent all this time researching and planning and only use half of it? I'm STILL ahead of the game by having taken the time to investigate various options and angles to various situations and I'll be a more confident parent because of it!
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I don't know, it's strange.

I'm not talking about the science aspect. I am a science geek. It's more the application. I said no TV or video games, no junk food, blah blah blah. Hahaha. Now I'm like, "Take these Lunchables, watch Doctor Who and leave me alone!" or "Keep playing Tekken! Look at all these dishes I'm getting done!"

EDIT: I obviously don't do this all the time. I can see how people could fall in that trap, though.
 
stafinois said:
I don't know, it's strange.

I'm not talking about the science aspect. I am a science geek. It's more the application. I said no TV or video games, no junk food, blah blah blah. Hahaha. Now I'm like, "Take these Lunchables, watch Doctor Who and leave me alone!" or "Keep playing Tekken! Look at all these dishes I'm getting done!"

EDIT: I obviously don't do this all the time. I can see how people could fall in that trap, though.
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I think this is every part of life. I still giggle at my former self saying Malinois owners who talk about being bitten are just bad trainers and I would <gasp> never allow such inexcusable behavior!

Meh. Now I laugh at how dramatic my coworker is when she gets nipped by any dog, I'm like, oh that's cute.

Life has a way at laughing at your plans.
 
My mom got lucky with me, by the time I was 8 or 9, as long as she gave me books to read, I didn't bother her. We didn't have cable or satellite when I was growing up so there really wasn't much to watch lol ...

Now I know I am not cut out when I was visiting my OH's sister and her kids, who are great kids but she was feeling ill (reason for our visit) and she must have asked OH's nephew to take a shower like five or six times and he kept ignoring her ... :wall: I wanted to grab him by his scrod and drag him to the bathroom so so bad.
 
I am just not a big fan of the scare tactics with these studies. Like, if you child catches a glimose of television they are going to morph into a drooling, braindead, idiot. Or if you have more than one child, subsequent children will never get the care they need and become a burden on society necause they can't possibly get the love and educational support they need.

Maybe I am being a bit dramatic but seriously, they make parents scared that they are going to ruin their child by stepping outside the lines

Studies for carseats, types of formula if you are unable to breastfeed, etc... I get it but studies on how to make your child the smartest child at mommy and me or the most productive member of society by following the rules of the study... I personally feel that those are a disservice to parents and a childs individual personality
 
sparks19 said:
I am just not a big fan of the scare tactics with these studies. Like, if you child catches a glimose of television they are going to morph into a drooling, braindead, idiot. Or if you have more than one child, subsequent children will never get the care they need and become a burden on society necause they can't possibly get the love and educational support they need.

Maybe I am being a bit dramatic but seriously, they make parents scared that they are going to ruin their child by stepping outside the lines
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Like anything else (USE ANY CARRIER LIKE THIS AND YOUR KID WILL GET HIP DYSPLASIA AND DIDE!) I think there are both good studies (impartial, informative) and bad (shaming, scary)

A good study gives you the facts and lets you decide. Saying that STATISTICALLY with multiple children born close together later children score less high on exams, is not saying "younger kids will be braindead", it's giving you the facts. There are outliers, and of course things you can do.

I would love to see more parents do their homework. Like someone else said, I'm sure like with anything else, a lot of it ends up changed, you don't follow it all 100%, **** happens... but what is the harm in just trying to be prepared?

parents bullying other parents for doing their research and trying to be prepared and make themselves feel secure and ready for being a parent is so weird to me.. like why the hell is that wrong?

Being outside the lines is all well and good. But I'm a lot less worried about the parent who reads studies and knows the statistics than I am the one who refuses to learn or change and give their kid solids and coca cola out of bottle and hit their kids because "THOSE DARN STUDIES ARE FULL OF FOOEY! I HAD THIS AND I GREW UP JUST FINE!"

And ya, maybe the parent who does super home schooling and the kid speaks mandarin and never watches tv and only eats gluten-free mush and reads russian literature at 5....is going a little overboard lol but the MAJORITY of parents who read studies aren't like that, they use the studies to supplement their individual child raising techniques and what suits their kid.

shades of grey people.

Some parents want to be informed, it's a lot of instinct and kids are individuals... but since when is research about something as HUGE as parenting..bad?
 
Bullying? I don't see anyone bullying parents who read studies. Just opinions that studies can do more harm than good at times if taken too literally and people sharing personal experience.

I read books and such before Hannah was born. I ended up using very little
Of that info because she didn't fit into the tidy little niche of each "type" in the books.

As a parent, I probably do a lot of things that the general public disagrees with or frowns upon. Like homeschooling or letting her watch tv a lot or wear crazy outfits in public lol. BUT at the end of the day... I am doing right by my child and their opinion doesn't matter unless I am seeking it (like when Hannah was struggling with her asthma and we
Couldn't keep it under control). BUT they are also allowed to give their opinions and ideas and sometimes it's relevant and something i hadn't considered trying.
 
Greenmagick said:
Are you talking about the Hylands teething tablets?

That was such a crazy recall. People freaked out seeing "belladonna" in the ingredients totally forgetting that it was HOMEOPATHIC belladonna preparation and not actual belladonna.
Click to expand...

From what I understand, the FDA recalled the product after finding inconsistent amounts of belladonna, varying from tablet to tablet, some much higher than what was considered safe, after receiving multiple reports if children have seizures and breathing problems after taking the tablets.
 
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