soap in the mouth

I was spanked once as a small child (according to my mom--I don't even remember it so it could not have been too traumatic) for darting into the street. I don't "spank" my dogs, but I will give a horse that tries to bite me a pinch on the muzzle.

I honestly never realized until recently that people still washed their kids' mouths out with soap--I never had it done. DH says that he had his mouth washed out with soap as a kid for saying the word "butt." It didn't seem to achieve the desired effect though--he still says it--lol.

I don't believe in getting in other peoples' business when it comes to parenting for the most part. I don't think I'd wash my kid's mouth out though.....

A bit off topic, but what is "attachment parenting" exactly?

I think it's funny that people use vineger as punishment... I love the stuff and a drop on the tongue would be nothing. May make the kids hate the taste when they grow up which will limit their food preferences.

Would I soap? No. Have I been soaped? No. CPS? Not unless the "soap" was bleach or the child was bring forced to swallow it.

I think it's stupid and I consider it abuse. Very mild abuse, and not CPS worthy, but abuse none-the-less.

I also don't approve of any kind of spanking for a child under 3. It's lazy parenting IMO. If you feel the need to punish your children physically in public you should be prepared for comments about abuse and dont be surprised if DHS shows up at your door.

This exactly. I tended to not understand a lot of the punishment I got as a child. I would ask what I did (honestly not knowing what I did wrong) and the only response I would get is "You know exactly what you did!" What did that do for me? Nothing except damage the relationship with my parents. I am NOT open with my parents at all. They don't know most of what goes on in my life, and it's always been that way. And I did get soap in my mouth (I have no idea what for). I still cuss just fine too

I might add that that's not to say punishments don't have their place - they most definitely do. The important thing is that whatever it is, the kid understands WHY, or it's pointless.

I personally find it abusive. I don't think it is worth calling CPS but it is not nice and it is dangerous.
I fail to see what is wrong with a time out.

I would never do it and I do consider it abusive. I wouldn't call CPS on someone for doing it, but I do not agree with it at all

See, I guess i don't see it as any more abusive than making a kid sit at the table until they finish all of a food that they hate. If you had given 5-year-old me a choice between eating my green beans (nastiest veggie *ever*) and getting my mouth washed out, I would have taken the soap.....

As far as it poisoning the kid--hopefully the parent is not forcing the child to chug the soap, but rather washing their mouth with it and having them spit it out. I got soap/bubble bath in my mouth as a kid and never got sick from it. Heck there are a disturbing number of dogs on my lab board who have eaten entire bars of soap or just lapped up liquid soap and are fine. It can't be much worse than the junk that's in a Twinkie or cheap hot dog.....

my mother threatend but never needed to, but none of us ewere ever spanked, grounded, punished ect either...
whatever my parents did they did it right...

i threw a temper tantrum once when out, my dad told me if i didnt behave he was going to leave me in a trashcan for the garbage men...i didnt, he picked me up, put me in the (empty) garbage can and walked away...i know now they were watching me carefully, but you can bet your butt, i not only shut up, i neever did that again...

i can honestly say ive never been grounded, spanked or punishised, never had privledges taken away, and aparently, while like all kids i had my naughty moments of testing the boundries, all my mum or dad had to do was sit down and talk sternly and that was enough. same with my brother and sister.
we turned out awesome. none of us smoke or do drugs, if we drink its only occasionally and never to excess, never in trouble with the law, never felt the need to "break curfew"...

do i think washing a kids mouth out with soap is abuse...
NO...
(but i also use goatsmilk soap with none of the extra fancy stuff) its not like your forcing them to eat it...and who here hasnt had an accidental moutfull of soapy water whan bathing their dog or soemthing?!
would i use it as a method of punishment...not likely, im MUCH more creative.

i think part of the problem is likes has already been mentioned, a cps, abuse happy society, talk to your kids the wrong way and its abuse...
for hevens sake, a freind of my fathers and his wife just haid their 3 and 4 yr old kids taken away because they had some nekkid baby pictures developed at walmart...
who hers doesnt have those "nekkid baby" pictures you threaten to show their girl/boy frineds when they come over...
nope, the 2 girls, 3 and 4 were in the tub, they had bubble bath mohawks, and daddy snapped a shot fro gramma, they were on an old roll of film with traditional nekkid baby but on a rug, babies first bath ect type photos...
they developed the film at walmart, the worker called cps, cps deamed it child pornography, took the kids away for 3 months, the mother and father are now on the registered sex offender list (because even if your not convicted your name goes on the list), and they JUST got the kids back and are under constant CPS scruitny...

its no wonder parents are stuck without much clue and kids are acting up...they know that if one wrong person saw it and filed a report it could cause issues for YEARS!

IF spanking my child is lazy then oh well. The fact that I have a amazingly confident independent daughter that is crazy about me and daddy but can go on a month vacation with grandma and not even make a peep proves that wrong. The fact that my daughter is confident to go places without me holding her most times (i only pick her up if shes in a place she can get hurt). The fact she can go play with other kids and not come running back to me or checking on me. I love how everyone goes on and on about attachment parenting but with the parents I know that are that way they cant even leave their baby for a night to go do something adult. Thy are SOOOOOOOO worried about their child eating one thing or another (not things they are allergic to) that they cant just relax with their child while they play. Or their child is so attached to them that they cant take the child to the park and let him play without having to be next to him. Whoever wants to say Im a lazy parent for spanking her go right ahead, I work at makeing her a confident human being if I spank her along the way a few times so be it. I can trust that she can go visit her grandmother and she will not go crazy without me for one night. Does she miss me HECK YES. She takes over the phone whenever I call or my mom calls. She is always going up to my picture at my moms going mom and hugging it. BUT she is well rounded enough to enjoy herself with other people without having a melt down about it.

:cheers:

I was spanked alot when I was younger because I was shy and wouldn't talk to people I didn't know. I was only two so I didn't know very many people lol. I am still shy but I talk to people when they talk to me but only because I can still remember being hit. Now I am older they don't hit me any more but only because I am an extremely good liar. My parents only know what I tell them about my life and to be honest that is the way I like it.

soap? no. spanking? no. I find it works better to do the time-out, and when my little boys do something wrong.....one distinct 'NO'...then when they stop, I say 'thank you'. works wonders. little people want to please, so all the harsh stuff isn't necessary at all..unless you're lazy. yes.....I said that. lol fear tactics....no, I don't believe in them at all.

Seeing as the main time I did it is when she is running to the road (or the edge of the driveway) and I tell her no she laughs and keep running yea sorry Im gonna swat her butt. Since then she doesnt go near the road without me.

I just think parents forget that they aren't meant to be their child's best friend. You are their parent, and that requires (well, it should) you be consistent with consequences and discipline. To hear all this "I was NEVER punished as a child" honestly scares me, and that isn't the kind of parent I want to be.I couldn't imagine letting my child get away with misbehaving for the sake of being their friend and not "abusing" them. When my child misbehaves there will be consequences that fit the crime, whether that be a time-out, privileges being taken away, or even a swat on the butt. So long as the child is explained why it is wrong, why they are being punished and it isn't done in anger.. it is not abuse. I've suffered through abuse, and it really irritates me to see something like a small swat on the butt being called abuse.

Hmmm I was punished... I got spanked like, maybe 5 times..but it never really hurt lol. I never got the soap in my mouth...maybe because my mom cursed and stuff, so for a while, I never really said the stuff (like, if parents do it, you generally don't want to).
Mostly though, I was grounded and couldn't see friends. I don't think I got in a lottttt of trouble when I was younger. Now, I do get in trouble and all she does is take my phone away or computer.

Dangerous situations are different IMO

Clearly this is directed towards me.

Who said I misbehaved? My parents gave me freedom. No I never was grounded, but I never needed to be.

I am 23 years old. I have my own house. I take care of 3 dogs. I dont have any kids, I havent ever done drugs. I dont drink to excess. I call my grandmother in NY every Sunday JUST to chat.

I turned out JUST fine thank you very much. My parents were not "scared" to discipline me, they just gave me enough freedom where I never required it. I NEVER not ONCE snuck out of my house. I never had to. BUT my parents knew where I was at all times, and if they said no to something, I respected that.

I fail to see how my parents raised me wrong.

I'm curious WHY people think its abuse?

I don't think it's abuse, I just think it's unnecessary.:dunno:

I got washing up liquid in the mouth for swearing, I can remember the taste of it to this day..

It was a short, sharp, thoroughly unpleasant experience, but it sure as eggs is eggs made me watch my mouth around my parents in future.

Certainly didn't do me any harm.. It hasn't damaged me, or made me into an alcoholic.

To me, it's not a punishment that addresses the issue in any way. It says "I'm bigger, and can therefore make you eat soap when you do something I don't like! I must be right!"


I still have an aversion to the original blue Dawn.... despite its awesome alien grease-fighting technology. But I did learn to repeat the words that I picked up from my parents more quietly. Lesson learned, I suppose.


I'll add this: Is it a suck-ass tactic? Yep. Will it scar you child for life? I'll say no. If it's the worst thing you do to your kids in the name of discipline, you're okay in my book... and they'll make it through.

I also think that should it be your method of curbing a nasty mouth, it shouldn't be done in an especially forceful manner or while frustrated and angry. But that's just my .02 - which isn't much these days.