Why do people say this?

[sparks19]

Just curious..... but why do people always say:

"I would love to ask these people this same question ten years from now"

Why?

I have seen it in threads about marriage.... I have seen it in threads about religion..... I have seen it in threads about kids.

What is the meaning behind this?

Are you convinced that in ten years I will not love my husband as I do now? Are you convinced that I am weak in my faith and will not have it ten years from now? Are you convinced that I will be a bad parent and will have taught my kids nothing ten years from now?

I know others have commented on these comments before too.

Why do people say this? What are you hoping to prove? That in ten years we will all be miserable? Are you trying to tell us we are stupid for believing what we believe now?

I'm just not sure of the true meaning behind such a statement.

 

[jess2416]

Im guessing because people change, they get older, sometimes they experience something that makes them change their mind.. you never know.. I mean you cant really expect a person to stay the same and have the same mindset their whole life...

Thats my .04 cents

 

[sparks19]

Im guessing because people change, they get older, sometimes they experience something that makes them change their mind.. you never know.. I mean you cant really expect a person to stay the same and have the same mindset their whole life...

Thats my .04 cents

I agree that people change.... but when someone does change do people flaunt it in their faces?

I just get the impression that this particular statement is said like I am stupid for feeling the way I feel now because there is no way I will feel the same way ten years from now.

Like I shouldn't have an opinion on anything because in ten years my opinion MIGHT be different?

It just seems like it is said to poke fun at people for feeling differently about something.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Because those people are often cynical and like to rain on others parades?

 

[sparks19]

Because those people are often cynical and like to rain on others parades?

Yeah.... I just always wonder that if I come back in ten years and GOD FORBID Brian and I were not able to make our marriage work.... will those people that wanted me to come back in ten years laugh in my face? it just seems that's what that sentence means.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

It is what it means.

For instance- the marriage type threads and discussions... some have said "come tell me how it is in 10 years" as if hoping that our marriage fails as their own did or as if we're lying to ourselves now....

I'll show them all right.. I'll show them how it's done.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

wow--hold on there nelly! I posed that question in your other thread--and answered it there--it is no way looking to flaunt anything in anyones face, be demeaning, suggest anything about your relationships with anyone! It was simply and purely funny to me --as someone who has raised 2 now young adults, and still working on the third one---to see people's perspectives on events they have yet to experience. That's all--I have no reason to bash anyone for anything. Take it as it was meant--

 

[HoundedByHounds]

but when someone does change do people flaunt it in their faces?

sometimes...

hasn't anyone here had that line from their mom, brother, sister, father..."Now you know what I went thru"..."Now you know how I felt when.."...'Now you know why I was so hard on you when..."

It's not flaunting in someone face so much as pointing out that yes, the things you did "back then" did have a point and purpose.

Things change, and that statement doesn't offend me at all...because it is true over and over again.

10 years from now the things that are important to you may change order and some might disappear completely.

It's not all negative, that statement...even if the people saying it want it to be.

10 years from now...you might not be sensitive at all to such statements, because you realize that whatever anyone else thinks matters about as much as what color undies Chelsea Clinton is wearing.

 

[probe1957]

I certainly wouldn't think it an offensive comment. Hell, it's true, to a degree. You won't even recognize yourself 10 years from now, if you got to look at yourself then, today. A magical time machine is all it takes, I guess.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

wow--hold on there nelly! I posed that question in your other thread--and answered it there--it is no way looking to flaunt anything in anyones face, be demeaning, suggest anything about your relationships with anyone! It was simply and purely funny to me --as someone who has raised 2 now young adults, and still working on the third one---to see people's perspectives on events they have yet to experience. That's all--I have no reason to bash anyone for anything. Take it as it was meant--

I don't know what thread you are referring to.. but this type of comment has been said many times and is what I was basing my comments to Sparks to. Just wanted to point that out because I clearly don't know the context of this particular situation you are referring to. And even then I don't think it was directed at me, lol, oh anywho- I'm tired. I have 4 more hours of classes left. Where's my violin?

 

[HoundedByHounds]

Billy I agree...not a statement I'd take negatively..esp from someone older than myself.

ETA; this thread reminds me tho I need to change my sig quote.

 

[Xerxes]

Because those people are often cynical and like to rain on others parades?

And you are the winner! I think you've posted the best answer to the question.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

And you are the winner! I think you've posted the best answer to the question.

ooo000ooo!!

Do I get a prize? What's my prize? Huh, huh, huh?

 

[Aussie Red]

Well how I saw life in my 20's differed from how things were in my 30's and were even more so in my 40's and now into the 50's different still.
I saw my marriage as a life time commitment but he did not. He changed.
I saw my children doing all the things the way I thought they should . They did not and set me up for some big disappointments along the journey through life.
I planned a good future for myself but again through the journey of life it was met with road blocks and other obstacles to get through.
I don't think it is because they want you to fail but that even the best laid plans have a way of falling apart.
People change, situations change, that is life. To say you are going to be together forever is great but it is not always a reality. You can be two of the most loving and greatest parents in the world but your child is their own person and can go a complete different path one you can not live with.
Thing is you start out with plans dreams and visions but as you travel through life it is all subject to change.

 

[HoundedByHounds]

Well how I saw life in my 20's differed from how things were in my 30's and were even more so in my 40's and now into the 50's different still.
I saw my marriage as a life time commitment but he did not. He changed.
I saw my children doing all the things the way I thought they should . They did not and set me up for some big disappointments along the journey through life.
I planned a good future for myself but again through the journey of life it was met with road blocks and other obstacles to get through.
I don't think it is because they want you to fail but that even the best laid plans have a way of falling apart.
People change, situations change, that is life. To say you are going to be together forever is great but it is not always a reality. You can be two of the most loving and greatest parents in the world but your child is their own person and can go a complete different path one you can not live with.
Thing is you start out with plans dreams and visions but as you travel through life it is all subject to change.

And that folks...is a good, honest post. *Applause*

 

[bubbatd]

I may be at fault here , but I feel it's only through experience and addressed to the youngsters here . Mostly because I don't want their hearts to rule their brains.

 

[Lilavati]

Well how I saw life in my 20's differed from how things were in my 30's and were even more so in my 40's and now into the 50's different still.
I saw my marriage as a life time commitment but he did not. He changed.
I saw my children doing all the things the way I thought they should . They did not and set me up for some big disappointments along the journey through life.
I planned a good future for myself but again through the journey of life it was met with road blocks and other obstacles to get through.
I don't think it is because they want you to fail but that even the best laid plans have a way of falling apart.
People change, situations change, that is life. To say you are going to be together forever is great but it is not always a reality. You can be two of the most loving and greatest parents in the world but your child is their own person and can go a complete different path one you can not live with.
Thing is you start out with plans dreams and visions but as you travel through life it is all subject to change.

What I was going to say, but better. I think that question can be cynical and bitter, but it can also be an honest--warning?--statement about life in general. It depends on how it is meant. I used to hate people saying that when I was younger . . . and a few weeks ago I found myself saying it to my teenage cousin (well, not precisely those words, but similar). I didn't mean to be condescending or cynical (and fortunately, she didn't take it that way) but I'm more than twice her age. Life happens, things change, people change, you change . . . and sometimes what we thought would happen, doesn't, and things we never thought would happen, do.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

As a youngin', I've followed my heart most of my life and I don't regret a d@mn thing. I'll continue to do so as it is the way I chose to live my life.

 

[Boemy]

I think it's just commenting on the fact that people change in many ways as they get older. I've seen a lot of threads by fourteen or fifteen year olds (not here, just in general) where they are convinced that their first boyfriend/girlfriend is "the one" and that they're experiencing love like no one has ever experienced it before. It's not because fourteen year olds are stupid, it's just because, well, that's an experience common to the age. Most people don't marry their first girlfriend/boyfriend and when they're 24 they look back and see their previous situation more clearly.

Edit: Another way to put it, I think, would be "Man plans, God laughs."

 

[probe1957]

I may be at fault here , but I feel it's only through experience and addressed to the youngsters here . Mostly because I don't want their hearts to rule their brains.

Well, speaking as a formerly young BOY, it ain't our hearts that rule our brains.