What do you do....
- Thread starter Mayasmydobe
- Start date
^^^ excellent advice if this happens a lot.
For myself, I ask myself these questions if I am sad, upset or angry.
Will this matter tomorrow?
Will this matter next week?
Will this matter next month?
Will this matter next year?
And will this matter on the day I die?
I usually get the answer of no and get on with life.
For myself, I ask myself these questions if I am sad, upset or angry.
Will this matter tomorrow?
Will this matter next week?
Will this matter next month?
Will this matter next year?
And will this matter on the day I die?
I usually get the answer of no and get on with life.
I go grab the leashes, dress for the weather and forgo the sunglasses. I swear it helps more than any med., at least for me (and I've been on them ALL).
I almost always suffer really horrible S.A.D every single winter, this year my depression was unbearable because I went through a breakup, a move, 2 deaths and cancer treatment that's making me feel so sick (just skin cancer but the treatment makes you feel like you have a six week horrible flu).
Anyway, I acutally wrote things in my calendar every day that I would do for myself and for/with my dogs, aside from work. I always included as much time in natural light as possibe and even though I wanted to hide in a hole, I invited friends and family over so that I couldn't stay in my jammies for days on end.
For some, I absolutely believe that meds. will help. I did see my 'shrink' a few times but did not fill the prescriptions that almost always conclude a visit for depression. I have never had anything but negative side effects from meds., some that added to my depression.
I feel for ya. I think that it's almost worse to feel so depressed when life tells you that you shouldn't. Take care of yourself.
I almost always suffer really horrible S.A.D every single winter, this year my depression was unbearable because I went through a breakup, a move, 2 deaths and cancer treatment that's making me feel so sick (just skin cancer but the treatment makes you feel like you have a six week horrible flu).
Anyway, I acutally wrote things in my calendar every day that I would do for myself and for/with my dogs, aside from work. I always included as much time in natural light as possibe and even though I wanted to hide in a hole, I invited friends and family over so that I couldn't stay in my jammies for days on end.
For some, I absolutely believe that meds. will help. I did see my 'shrink' a few times but did not fill the prescriptions that almost always conclude a visit for depression. I have never had anything but negative side effects from meds., some that added to my depression.
I feel for ya. I think that it's almost worse to feel so depressed when life tells you that you shouldn't. Take care of yourself.
Put on some tunes and have a good cry/sit and be for awhile. Then I pick myself back up after my moment(s) and try to carry on the best I can.
It's weird but everything seems to be a bit better the next day.
Firstly I acknowledge that I am sad and I try to identify what thoughts I am having.
I'll try and recognise where I am being negative - for instance, am I thinking I'm crap or I did something bad, or someone did something, or I'm thinking theres' no point, or whatever it is.
Then I recognise that those thoughts are what makes me feel like ****.
So I change them round, I acknowledge they're negative, then I dismiss them as wrong. Even if I don't believe it at the time
Then I try and twist it round into something positive.
So...... I am useless.... well, actually, I'm not. I am in uni, I look after my dog well, I am a good friend and I am holding down a job.
You have a son, you're creative, you're doing well in college and you have good friends.
As you can see I am heavily into CBT
Only because I use it on myself and it WORKS. Trust me.
It's a LEARNT behaviour though. You have to teach your mind little tricks on how to get out of the funky state. And like ANY trick, the more you practice, the easier it gets and the better it works.
I have been an emotional person my ENTIRE life, and it wasn't till I was about 24 that I realised a lot about myself and decided to change it.
It's never to late to start again and retrain your mind.
I never took meds, I KNOW for a fact had I actually gone to a doc they'd have given me them.
If you don't think you can retrain your mind, because you're too low, then you might consider them to get you STARTED. Then come off them ASAP.
Best way to combat ANY thing at all is KNOWLEDGE. Read about depression, read about techniques, read about moods, read about CBT and try it.
It took me a long while of just recognising my thoughts before it has become second nature.
Try it.
Along with the rest of the bumpf.
Get a ROUTINE, get sun light (I get extremely low when the days are short and we never get sun anyway), get fresh air and try and exercise (release those endorphines). AVOID caffiene and crappy food.
If you can't get motivated, get someone to HELP you. Call you and take you out for a walk, or cook you a healthy tea.
Meds can be useful, but address everything else 1st.
If you can't, or it doesn't work, by all means, take something, but if you come off, and something happens and you feel low again, you won't have the coping strategies in place to deal with it if you don't do all the above! And it may be hopping from med to none, to med to none.
I'll try and recognise where I am being negative - for instance, am I thinking I'm crap or I did something bad, or someone did something, or I'm thinking theres' no point, or whatever it is.
Then I recognise that those thoughts are what makes me feel like ****.
So I change them round, I acknowledge they're negative, then I dismiss them as wrong. Even if I don't believe it at the time
Then I try and twist it round into something positive.
So...... I am useless.... well, actually, I'm not. I am in uni, I look after my dog well, I am a good friend and I am holding down a job.
You have a son, you're creative, you're doing well in college and you have good friends.
As you can see I am heavily into CBT
Only because I use it on myself and it WORKS. Trust me.
It's a LEARNT behaviour though. You have to teach your mind little tricks on how to get out of the funky state. And like ANY trick, the more you practice, the easier it gets and the better it works.
I have been an emotional person my ENTIRE life, and it wasn't till I was about 24 that I realised a lot about myself and decided to change it.
It's never to late to start again and retrain your mind.
I never took meds, I KNOW for a fact had I actually gone to a doc they'd have given me them.
If you don't think you can retrain your mind, because you're too low, then you might consider them to get you STARTED. Then come off them ASAP.
Best way to combat ANY thing at all is KNOWLEDGE. Read about depression, read about techniques, read about moods, read about CBT and try it.
It took me a long while of just recognising my thoughts before it has become second nature.
Try it.
Along with the rest of the bumpf.
Get a ROUTINE, get sun light (I get extremely low when the days are short and we never get sun anyway), get fresh air and try and exercise (release those endorphines). AVOID caffiene and crappy food.
If you can't get motivated, get someone to HELP you. Call you and take you out for a walk, or cook you a healthy tea.
Meds can be useful, but address everything else 1st.
If you can't, or it doesn't work, by all means, take something, but if you come off, and something happens and you feel low again, you won't have the coping strategies in place to deal with it if you don't do all the above! And it may be hopping from med to none, to med to none.
Honestly, we're so programmed and bombarded with the notion that we're supposed to be positive and happy all the freaking time and that unless there is something catastrophic - and even sometimes if there is - we aren't supposed to let it get us down. It's ridiculous!
Go through the things that make you sad when you think about them and figure out if maybe they aren't reason enough to be feeling sad. Be honest. There's nothing shameful about honest feelings and you're entitled to them. Feel them, acknowledge them and either work you way through them or lay them aside until you can take another shot at resolving them, but do not ever negate your right to your own feelings or their validity.
Sadness does not automatically mean you're depressed! The terms are not synonymous at all.
Go through the things that make you sad when you think about them and figure out if maybe they aren't reason enough to be feeling sad. Be honest. There's nothing shameful about honest feelings and you're entitled to them. Feel them, acknowledge them and either work you way through them or lay them aside until you can take another shot at resolving them, but do not ever negate your right to your own feelings or their validity.
Sadness does not automatically mean you're depressed! The terms are not synonymous at all.
Absolutely agree.
Too many people think that to be sad is to be abnormal, and seek meds etc when they are totally unecessary.
If you're sad from time to time, get yourself a sure fire coping strategy (chocolate, a book, a walk, a friend, etc) and indulge in it.
It's when that sadness persists and starts affecting your life you should really consider hiking it up a notch. But again. It doesn't automatically mean a trip to the GP.
Not only are we supposed to happy all the time- we are also supposed to be successful, flawless, pretty and friendly 24/7.
In reality, nobody truly is. Think about the things in life that make you feel the way you are and think about how you can change that. But be realistic... there is (most likely) no way you will loose 20 lbs in 3 weeks without (or even with) hard work... you won't make 40 Grand a year without hard work... etc. Take small steps and when you find the way you want to go, take one step and one day at a time.
You are a good mom to William, you are a good mom to Maya... you are a good daughter and have parents who love you...you are successful in College which will pave your way to a job that you will enjoy... you have good friends. Think about how truly lucky you are!
(((HUGS))))
In reality, nobody truly is. Think about the things in life that make you feel the way you are and think about how you can change that. But be realistic... there is (most likely) no way you will loose 20 lbs in 3 weeks without (or even with) hard work... you won't make 40 Grand a year without hard work... etc. Take small steps and when you find the way you want to go, take one step and one day at a time.
You are a good mom to William, you are a good mom to Maya... you are a good daughter and have parents who love you...you are successful in College which will pave your way to a job that you will enjoy... you have good friends. Think about how truly lucky you are!
(((HUGS))))
No, but intense sadness, feelings of hopelessness, like you can't go on, like life isn't worth living, going on for a prolonged period of time *can* mean that there is a chemical imbalance somewhere. if that is the case, you can't just "coping strategy" your way out of it anymore than a diabetic can think their blood sugar into a proper balance.
I'm not saying that this is the case with the OP at all. I'm just saying that if it becomes a downward spiral then it may just be more than the blues.
I'm not saying that this is the case with the OP at all. I'm just saying that if it becomes a downward spiral then it may just be more than the blues.