Dear Job Applicants,
First off, where are the millions of you that have asked if we are hiring when we weren't? We've had an incredibly low number of applicants for a posted job.
Yes, we are hiring for the pet department. For my job in fact. You are speaking to the correct person and probably should not be rude. I am the one that will recommend to my boss that she interview you or not...in fact, my boss will not hire someone if I don't like you too.
Please don't allow your mother to bring you in and do all the talking for you while you look at your feet. I might have considered you if I had heard any words come out of your mouth. If you are applying for a full-time job you are old enough not to have Mom escort you in. Not hired.
Please don't wear pajama pants, gym clothes, sweat pants, ratty clothes, and so forth even if you are just turning in an application. It pretty strongly makes it look like you don't care if you get a job. Not hired.
If you can't spell, use a dictionary or spell check on word to fill out the application. We shredded the 10 applications that had basic words misspelled (they had nothing else going for them either). Not hired.
If you can't sign the application or fill out ALL the information (three references! THREE!), I will take that as laziness or lack of attention to detail. Not hired.
You should NEVER put "Didn't get along with my boss/coworkers" as a reason for leaving your job. Not hired.
Sigh...you just can't find good help anymore. Anyone want a full time job with benefits?