The Venting Thread

My mom basically just called me worthless.

Well, that's a great confidence booster. Thanks, mom. As if I needed a reminder.

I was trying to have a good day. To ignore how much pain I'm in and not get sucked back into feeling like this anymore (http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/amityaffliction/pittsburgh.html).

Leave it to her to ruin all my hard work. I woke up excited, because I'm having someone make a custom dragon figurine for me... and now I feel like I don't know how to deal with anything anymore. All my energy is just drained.

Times like this make me think that once I move out, I will never see my family again. And I hope they don't do this to me when I do move out, because I honestly think I'd be okay with cutting them out because everyone always says crap like that to me.

And I'm honestly shocked I'm even thinking this of myself, because I used to just go along with it and say, "yes, yes I am worthless, no I don't have a life". But I do have a life, and while it's not what they want, it's mine and it's worth something... to me, even if it's not worth anything to anybody else.
 
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This house buying business is for the birds. Such an annoying process lol. I think it'll be worth it but ugh ready to just be done.
 
Southpaw said:
This house buying business is for the birds. Such an annoying process lol. I think it'll be worth it but ugh ready to just be done.
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We should be closing next week on our short sale property! It has taken about 4 months, but it's happening. There's a lot of 'hurry up and wait'
 
This is the worst. For one reason or another I wasn't expecting my week to start today. It was fine for HOURS and I thought I'd make it through the day. Now it's so bad I'm camped out still at work at the zoo in the restroom feeling like throwing up. My stomach is twisting and burning and cramping and I'm trying to figure out when it'll let up enough to embark on my 1 1/2 hour commute home on the trolley, subway, and bus without feeling like my insides are just going to fall out. Why now. Why today.

I know I'll feel better by tomorrow, just in time to go see my boyfriend without roiling in pain and wanting to die, but still 5 days early???
 
Jadex said:
We should be closing next week on our short sale property! It has taken about 4 months, but it's happening. There's a lot of 'hurry up and wait'
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Hey congrats! Could be worse with a short sale. :) I'm closing in 4 weeks and was doing okay until today, lol having to get in touch with the insurance company to figure out homeowners insurance and I have all these documents I need to print/sign/scan/email back, and my printer wasn't working.... it's just been a lot to do today, everything is time sensitive but I hardly have the time to do it!
 
I have just never been this anxious and stressed before. The last 6 months have been just... ugh. And I had this thought that the anxiety would be better after I got my house. But no. It just gets worse.
 
teacuptiger said:
My mom basically just called me worthless.

Well, that's a great confidence booster. Thanks, mom. As if I needed a reminder.

I was trying to have a good day. To ignore how much pain I'm in and not get sucked back into feeling like this anymore (http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/amityaffliction/pittsburgh.html).

Leave it to her to ruin all my hard work. I woke up excited, because I'm having someone make a custom dragon figurine for me... and now I feel like I don't know how to deal with anything anymore. All my energy is just drained.

Times like this make me think that once I move out, I will never see my family again. And I hope they don't do this to me when I do move out, because I honestly think I'd be okay with cutting them out because everyone always says crap like that to me.

And I'm honestly shocked I'm even thinking this of myself, because I used to just go along with it and say, "yes, yes I am worthless, no I don't have a life". But I do have a life, and while it's not what they want, it's mine and it's worth something... to me, even if it's not worth anything to anybody else.
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my mother called me worthless my entire life, not in so many words, but by her actions. her constant reminders that i wasnt capable of achieving anything, and that i was safer to just remain at home and live on disability until the day i died. that things i want to do werent realistic, that my someday dreams werent things i could handle.

its been 12 years since we last saw each other and i dont regret estranging myself from her for even one second. sometimes venomous people are better not in your life at all, so you can begin to heal *hugs
 
frostfell said:
my mother called me worthless my entire life, not in so many words, but by her actions. her constant reminders that i wasnt capable of achieving anything, and that i was safer to just remain at home and live on disability until the day i died. that things i want to do werent realistic, that my someday dreams werent things i could handle.

its been 12 years since we last saw each other and i dont regret estranging myself from her for even one second. sometimes venomous people are better not in your life at all, so you can begin to heal *hugs
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*hugs* I'm sorry that your mom is like that. I mean, with my mom it sucks so much because one second she's fine and being nice, the next she's telling me I'm worthless. I never know what side of her I'm gonna get, though it's usually the unhappy side.

My vent for the day is that I have begun grinding my teeth again at night... A LOT. And like, really freaking hard apparently because my entire head and neck hurt, not to mention my jaw. I really wish that mouth guards worked for me (but because I rarely can breathe through my nose because of my allergies, I've woken up panicking from feeling like the mouth guard is suffocating me).

Dogdragoness, I know how you feel. It's like so beautiful outside here, but SO FREAKING COLD LIKE WTF. Only here, it's been like 40's. When it was just in the 70's-80's.
 
Southpaw said:
Hey congrats! Could be worse with a short sale. :) I'm closing in 4 weeks and was doing okay until today, lol having to get in touch with the insurance company to figure out homeowners insurance and I have all these documents I need to print/sign/scan/email back, and my printer wasn't working.... it's just been a lot to do today, everything is time sensitive but I hardly have the time to do it!
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There was a problem with the title not being transferred right when the owner bought the property so last minute when we were getting excited to move in we were told that it could be a couple more weeks. Waiting for 1 document....ridiculous! They also wanted us to sign and scan/fax a 100 page mortgage agreement!!! I tried and failed so I just drove to the mortgage place to sign them in person. They really need to have e-signing available.
 
I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. :( After not seeing my husband for five months, and before that only seeing him for two weeks after him being gone for 4 months, they denied his requested vacation. The reason? Too lazy to do the paperwork. WTF. I just want to cry. But now I have to go to work, deal with customers all day and act like I'm fine and I'm just not fine. I've already took 2 weeks off, and now as it gets closer they are going to ask me if I'm excited to see david and I'm going to cry at work.

We are currently trying to get them to at the very least give him a couple of days so that I can see him for four freaking days. FOUR days. That's it, but at this point at least it would be something. I'm just so shocked and distraught at this point i don't know what to do.
 
I've fallen in love with my foster dog. She isn't really even what I want, but she's a perfect pet dog.

What's worse is the BF is completely in love with her, thinks she's awesome and perfect. He really wants to keep her.

What's even worse is that if we kept her I can't get my purebred, go-anywhere, do anything dog and I KNOW she will continue to have hip issues for most of her life. I don't think I want a dog who does hikes in a backpack with me carrying her, if I'm going to be honest with myself.

What's the worst is that someone at the shelter already has dibs on her. That is actually the worst part.

That's how I know I've fallen pretty hard.
 
noludoru said:
I've fallen in love with my foster dog. She isn't really even what I want, but she's a perfect pet dog.

What's worse is the BF is completely in love with her, thinks she's awesome and perfect. He really wants to keep her.

What's even worse is that if we kept her I can't get my purebred, go-anywhere, do anything dog and I KNOW she will continue to have hip issues for most of her life. I don't think I want a dog who does hikes in a backpack with me carrying her, if I'm going to be honest with myself.

What's the worst is that someone at the shelter already has dibs on her. That is actually the worst part.

That's how I know I've fallen pretty hard.
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I know HD sucks and you would rather she doesn't have it but, there is so much available for management to reduce the symptoms. Unless she is so painful/bad she needs surgery. Lots of options.
 
noludoru said:
I've fallen in love with my foster dog. She isn't really even what I want, but she's a perfect pet dog.

What's worse is the BF is completely in love with her, thinks she's awesome and perfect. He really wants to keep her.

What's even worse is that if we kept her I can't get my purebred, go-anywhere, do anything dog and I KNOW she will continue to have hip issues for most of her life. I don't think I want a dog who does hikes in a backpack with me carrying her, if I'm going to be honest with myself.

What's the worst is that someone at the shelter already has dibs on her. That is actually the worst part.

That's how I know I've fallen pretty hard.
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That is the worst.


I fell in love with my first foster. She was everything I didn't want, but she was perfect. I took in a new foster, and so she moved to another foster. After a week, I realized I had made a huge mistake and wanted to keep my first foster forever. I was too late...it was heartbreaking.

I still regret not adopting MeToo, but I did end up with the most perfect dog in Smiley. I just wish MeToo was here too.
 
SpringerLover said:
I know HD sucks and you would rather she doesn't have it but, there is so much available for management to reduce the symptoms. Unless she is so painful/bad she needs surgery. Lots of options.
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She has a fractured pelvis. She is showing improvement, but can't walk more than half a mile without an obvious limp. The vet said she should be about as healed as she'll ever get now, and she's been okayed for light exercise. But a dog this low energy and unable to keep up (I literally have to bring a backpack to carry her in everywhere- she wants to keep going but really can't) isn't remotely what I want. I want a jogging companion, really. And she basically will never get more active or less sheddy than this. But we both really love her. We talked about it and there are no dealbreakers on his end and nothing that's a dealbreaker right now for me. I just worry that she's not really what I want in some important ways, and can I deal with that for a decade plus? I can only have one dog. So it's heart battling with logic. She will probably have chronic pain and never be a runner, and aging will be really uncomfortable and probably set in early. The weather does seem to affect her.

I'm going to continue talking to a breeder and if she says no way you can't have a puppy from me, and Star's owner decides she can't keep her, I think we probably will despite the reasons not to. There are just too many reasons to do it. I think they outweigh the reasons not to. I'm just not sure.

Locke said:
That is the worst.


I fell in love with my first foster. She was everything I didn't want, but she was perfect. I took in a new foster, and so she moved to another foster. After a week, I realized I had made a huge mistake and wanted to keep my first foster forever. I was too late...it was heartbreaking.

I still regret not adopting MeToo, but I did end up with the most perfect dog in Smiley. I just wish MeToo was here too.
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Yeah. The last time I fell this hard for a foster, I still wish I kept her. I still think about her weekly. I think she's probably dead now. Too many behavioral problems. I found out YEARS later that her adopter gave her back instead of contacting me. I'm still deeply affected by it. If she gets adopted by someone else, I will be completely heartbroken. Who knows. maybe she's just a rebound puppy and I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. Maybe the universe wants me to keep her.

She came with the name I was planning on naming next dog, basically. Who knows.

The decision isn't even mine to make.
 
noludoru said:
She has a fractured pelvis. She is showing improvement, but can't walk more than half a mile without an obvious limp. The vet said she should be about as healed as she'll ever get now, and she's been okayed for light exercise. But a dog this low energy and unable to keep up (I literally have to bring a backpack to carry her in everywhere- she wants to keep going but really can't) isn't remotely what I want. I want a jogging companion, really. And she basically will never get more active or less sheddy than this. But we both really love her. We talked about it and there are no dealbreakers on his end and nothing that's a dealbreaker right now for me. I just worry that she's not really what I want in some important ways, and can I deal with that for a decade plus? I can only have one dog. So it's heart battling with logic. She will probably have chronic pain and never be a runner, and aging will be really uncomfortable and probably set in early. The weather does seem to affect her.

I'm going to continue talking to a breeder and if she says no way you can't have a puppy from me, and Star's owner decides she can't keep her, I think we probably will despite the reasons not to. There are just too many reasons to do it. I think they outweigh the reasons not to. I'm just not sure.



Yeah. The last time I fell this hard for a foster, I still wish I kept her. I still think about her weekly. I think she's probably dead now. Too many behavioral problems. I found out YEARS later that her adopter gave her back instead of contacting me. I'm still deeply affected by it. If she gets adopted by someone else, I will be completely heartbroken. Who knows. maybe she's just a rebound puppy and I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. Maybe the universe wants me to keep her.

She came with the name I was planning on naming next dog, basically. Who knows.

The decision isn't even mine to make.
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I desperately loved Lucy. Like if I had wanted different things, I would have kept her. However, she went to the perfect home and they love her to death and she's everything they ever wanted.

It isn't easy, but I think you will kick yourself living with a dog that can't do the things you want.
 
noludoru said:
She has a fractured pelvis. She is showing improvement, but can't walk more than half a mile without an obvious limp. The vet said she should be about as healed as she'll ever get now, and she's been okayed for light exercise. But a dog this low energy and unable to keep up (I literally have to bring a backpack to carry her in everywhere- she wants to keep going but really can't) isn't remotely what I want. I want a jogging companion, really. And she basically will never get more active or less sheddy than this. But we both really love her. We talked about it and there are no dealbreakers on his end and nothing that's a dealbreaker right now for me. I just worry that she's not really what I want in some important ways, and can I deal with that for a decade plus? I can only have one dog. So it's heart battling with logic. She will probably have chronic pain and never be a runner, and aging will be really uncomfortable and probably set in early. The weather does seem to affect her.
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What about a mobility cart? It can help give enough support to allow for longer periods of comfortable exercise while still allowing her to use her legs and build even more strength.

The last thing I wanted in Nextdog was paralysis, then Rook needed an emergency foster home after I helped with the rescue of her and the other 34... and she just never left, because taking on such a high needs dog made us fall hard for each other.

But she is a young husky, so even though she isn't the agility prospect I wanted my next dog to be, she is still pretty active, and is getting a custom cart now that she's done growing so she can be even more active and become my jogging partner.
 
meepitsmeagan said:
It isn't easy, but I think you will kick yourself living with a dog that can't do the things you want.
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I agree with this 100%. Not so much if things happen and you can no longer do the things you want - every dog gets older - but to willingly take in a dog you already know is not the type of dog you want... well, YMMV, but I think it is a mistake.

Love helps but it doesn't override the disappointment of having a dog who isn't what you really want.
 
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