The Venting Thread

RD said:
The artist formerly known as boyfriend makes it really hard for me to stay away. Like I think I need to split across the country so I don't let myself go back to him before we've gotten our **** together.

This whole thing is so ****ing weird I can't wrap my brain around it. Right now I haven't even been to the hospital to see him but we text each other as much as he can with a piece of bullet behind his eye. like I think we're almost friends. I hope we can be friends.

See I'm already wanting to keep tabs on him so we can give it another try someday. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

I NEED THERAPY
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You do. But you need to think about cutting contact now while he has help for both of your sakes.

Give it a six month no contact break and then try friends. Otherwise he will keep manipulating.

Many mental health centers have walk in clinics. Go. Counseling!

Is he still on a medical floor or did he make it to psych? Which hospital?
 
joce said:
You do. But you need to think about cutting contact now while he has help for both of your sakes.

Give it a six month no contact break and then try friends. Otherwise he will keep manipulating.

Many mental health centers have walk in clinics. Go. Counseling!

Is he still on a medical floor or did he make it to psych? Which hospital?
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All of this, plus there is a support network here for you in CO. I'm glad you realize you need to get away and it's all just manipulation, but it's still hard to get away.
 
I am 33 weeks pregnant. Due to insurance and closing L&D wings, I have to switch Drs...again. I'm frustrated and stressed out.
 
Barely two weeks after Hannah had Pneumonia... she's now knocked completely down with a double ear infection and a sinus infection that's leaking out of her EYES. She's on Augmentin for ten days and eye drops 4 times a day for 5 days, nebulizer every 4 hours and then ibuprofen for fever. Her temp last night was 103.3 and this morning in the doctors office it was 102.1. poor thing is feeling pretty poorly
 
sparks19 said:
Barely two weeks after Hannah had Pneumonia... she's now knocked completely down with a double ear infection and a sinus infection that's leaking out of her EYES. She's on Augmentin for ten days and eye drops 4 times a day for 5 days, nebulizer every 4 hours and then ibuprofen for fever. Her temp last night was 103.3 and this morning in the doctors office it was 102.1. poor thing is feeling pretty poorly
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Poor poor girl : ( I'll keep her in my thoughts.
 
sparks19 said:
Barely two weeks after Hannah had Pneumonia... she's now knocked completely down with a double ear infection and a sinus infection that's leaking out of her EYES. She's on Augmentin for ten days and eye drops 4 times a day for 5 days, nebulizer every 4 hours and then ibuprofen for fever. Her temp last night was 103.3 and this morning in the doctors office it was 102.1. poor thing is feeling pretty poorly
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Aw, many hugs to Hannah. Sinus infections are NO fun at all, and ear infections? Gosh. As someone who has these issues a lot, I really feel for her. I hope she gets feeling better REALLY a soon.

RD, I second what joce said. *hugs* to you, too. It's so hard moving forward, I know. Sending positive vibes to you.
 
RD....good luck. It's tough. You can PM me if you want. I pretty much went through 3 years of intensive therapy to learn how to let go (among other things).


My vent: I wish people would just stop dying. Dying too young. Too many suicides this year, among other things. Just found out another kid from my town committed suicide. Gay kid who couldn't find peace with his family or whatever. Third acquaintance this year of suicide. 5th...6th? Young death. In four months. Plus a kid I didn't know on my college campus jumped a few weeks back. I just wish it would stop. My FB news feed has just as many RIPs as engagements, more than births. I've been to more wakes than weddings in 2015.
 
RD said:
The artist formerly known as boyfriend makes it really hard for me to stay away. Like I think I need to split across the country so I don't let myself go back to him before we've gotten our **** together.

This whole thing is so ****ing weird I can't wrap my brain around it. Right now I haven't even been to the hospital to see him but we text each other as much as he can with a piece of bullet behind his eye. like I think we're almost friends. I hope we can be friends.

See I'm already wanting to keep tabs on him so we can give it another try someday. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

I NEED THERAPY
Click to expand...

I'm not going to tell you what you need to do. But I sincerely believe that having any contact with him for the next 6-12 months (at the very least -- and possibly forever) is very ill advised. Therapy sounds like a good idea.
 
thanks everyone. Last night got a little scary when her temp jumped to 105! Thankfully we were able to bring it down to 102.5 and avoid a trip to the hospital. She's doing better today now that the medication is in her system. Still has a fever but no where NEAR that high and the cough is pretty nasty.. doc said she was on the verge of adding respiratory infection to the list. The cough is very barky and constant so lots of nebulizer treatments. BUT her eyes are looking a lot better and no where near as goopy or red!
 
RD said:
The artist formerly known as boyfriend makes it really hard for me to stay away. Like I think I need to split across the country so I don't let myself go back to him before we've gotten our **** together.

This whole thing is so ****ing weird I can't wrap my brain around it. Right now I haven't even been to the hospital to see him but we text each other as much as he can with a piece of bullet behind his eye. like I think we're almost friends. I hope we can be friends.

See I'm already wanting to keep tabs on him so we can give it another try someday. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

I NEED THERAPY
Click to expand...

RD, I'm so so so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what your going through, and I only wish you the best. I hope things start looking up for you. *HUGS*

There's nothing wrong with you, a really horrible situation happened

If you need anything, or need to talk, PM me here(or o FB.)
As with others, I'd advise staying away from him for at least 6 months.

milos_mommy said:
My vent: I wish people would just stop dying. Dying too young. Too many suicides this year, among other things. Just found out another kid from my town committed suicide. Gay kid who couldn't find peace with his family or whatever. Third acquaintance this year of suicide. 5th...6th? Young death. In four months. Plus a kid I didn't know on my college campus jumped a few weeks back. I just wish it would stop. My FB news feed has just as many RIPs as engagements, more than births. I've been to more wakes than weddings in 2015.
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That's so terrible. We had a suicide about 8 months ago, and it's just so sad. She was 15. Way too early.

My condolences.

Sekah said:
I'm not going to tell you what you need to do. But I sincerely believe that having any contact with him for the next 6-12 months (at the very least -- and possibly forever) is very ill advised. Therapy sounds like a good idea.
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This.

sparks19 said:
thanks everyone. Last night got a little scary when her temp jumped to 105! Thankfully we were able to bring it down to 102.5 and avoid a trip to the hospital. She's doing better today now that the medication is in her system. Still has a fever but no where NEAR that high and the cough is pretty nasty.. doc said she was on the verge of adding respiratory infection to the list. The cough is very barky and constant so lots of nebulizer treatments. BUT her eyes are looking a lot better and no where near as goopy or red!
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How scary, but I'm glad she's starting to improve! Sending vibes your way.
 
I really need to get mucous out of my nose, but every time I blow my nose, blood comes pouring out.

I have white carpet. And I bled straight through a tissue lodged up my nostril trying to get to the bathroom.

If that didn't suck enough, I'm anemic. Losing this much blood sucks and I'm exhausted. And Roxie needs a good couple hours outside wandering around aimlessly at the end of my leash, since this will be my second week being too sick to give her more than a short walk.

Muffins.
 
*grumblegrumblewhinecomplainwhimper*

My stupid hip. Or pelvis. Or tailbone. Or back. Or whatever the heck is going on. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of having shooting pain up my spine when I move a certain way, or sit for too long on certain chairs, or get up in the morning out of bed, or restrain a large dog at work, or stand on my feet all day. I'm tired of hearing my hip pop. I'm tired of popping 800mg ibuprofen and still hurt. I'm tired of not being able to cross my legs to put my socks on in the morning.

But I don't want to go to the doctor, dammit. But it isn't going away, so I need to go to the doctor. And I'm worried they're going to tell me I have arthritis, or another synovial cyst, or a fractured tailbone, or a malaligned pelvis, or a back that's so screwed up it's throwing my pelvis/hips out of whack (wouldn't be surprised). And I don't want to have to go through the hassle of having radiographs done, or if they don't show anything another MRI. Ugh.

But, hip hurts, can't take it anymore, need to schedule an appointment. Which gives me anxiety.

Stupid body. Function properly.
 
I'm sorry for double posting so often. And I'm sorry for such a long vent... and if this doesn't make a lot of sense.

Anyways, I just lost my best friend of 10 years. All because of lies. If he could have just come clean sooner, maybe our friendship could have been salvageable.

I can't believe this. Why would you not tell the truth to someone, especially if that someone is the person you call at 3am when sh...tuff goes down? We went through so much together, how can he just take my loyalty and love for him for granted like that?

If he could have just told me the truth sooner... but ten years late is just too late for me to forgive. I feel so betrayed and I don't even know how to deal with this. After everything we've been together, and he had years to tell me the truth. Maybe if he'd have told me 2 or 3 years after we first became friends, maybe even 5 years of being friends... maybe we'd still be okay. Maybe I could have forgiven him.

And I feel like there's something wrong with me, like why do I keep attracting people who treat me like this? I mean, I had so many conversations with him over the years where I went through people treating me the exact same as he did, and he was there for me the entire time... why not just come clean sooner? Why?

Why tell me, "it was my mistake and I take responsibility for that" after 10 years? Why even take 10 years? Gods.

I didn't want it to end this way. I loved him. But I deserve better than being friends with someone that I trust less than I trust my dog. I always had his back and I thought he had mine. Guess not. That's so messed up that I know my dog is more dependable than someone I was friends with for longer than I've had Roxie.

I will never understand people. It would have been so simple to just come clean years ago. And I would have forgiven him. We could still be friends. I wouldn't hate him now.
 
Abruptly, and for no real particular reason, I am feeling so completely bleak and hopeless about every aspect of my life. My job kinda sucks, Im not where I want to be, Im not with who I want to be, NOTHING is where I want it, and I dont know how to fix it, I dont know how to make everything be the shape that will make me happy. Im so lost, I dont know what to do and the finality of it makes me want to just lie down and stop. If I had even an inkling of how to fix it I would be motivated but I just dont
 
frostfell said:
Abruptly, and for no real particular reason, I am feeling so completely bleak and hopeless about every aspect of my life. My job kinda sucks, Im not where I want to be, Im not with who I want to be, NOTHING is where I want it, and I dont know how to fix it, I dont know how to make everything be the shape that will make me happy. Im so lost, I dont know what to do and the finality of it makes me want to just lie down and stop. If I had even an inkling of how to fix it I would be motivated but I just dont
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*hugs* I know how you feel. I've been there SO many times, and it's a battle every day to stay away from that place. But just keep moving. Let it swallow you whole for short bursts of time if you must, but always keep moving forward. As you continue moving, things will fall into place. It will take time. A LOT of time, but the more positive thoughts you have, the more positive things will happen.

Don't force anything. Don't try to fix things. Remind yourself that you can make it to the sunrise. Every sunrise is an accomplishment. A victory. Maybe that's the only victory of the day, but it won't be the only victory forever. Victories start small and accumulate.

This line from Asking Alexandria's "Someone, Somewhere" goes on repeat in my head whenever I'm feeling lost:
"Even though I’m on my own, I know I’m not alone
Because I know there’s someone, somewhere praying that I make it home"

Sure, maybe it's just Roxie, but I'm never alone and neither are you.
 
My mom just sent me an "Okay did I do something to make you unhappy with me?" message :wall: If I go two days without talking to her...or if I don't respond to every text message she believes that I'm mad at her or purposely ignoring her. Annnnnoying.
 
*blackrose said:
*grumblegrumblewhinecomplainwhimper*

My stupid hip. Or pelvis. Or tailbone. Or back. Or whatever the heck is going on. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of having shooting pain up my spine when I move a certain way, or sit for too long on certain chairs, or get up in the morning out of bed, or restrain a large dog at work, or stand on my feet all day. I'm tired of hearing my hip pop. I'm tired of popping 800mg ibuprofen and still hurt. I'm tired of not being able to cross my legs to put my socks on in the morning.

But I don't want to go to the doctor, dammit. But it isn't going away, so I need to go to the doctor. And I'm worried they're going to tell me I have arthritis, or another synovial cyst, or a fractured tailbone, or a malaligned pelvis, or a back that's so screwed up it's throwing my pelvis/hips out of whack (wouldn't be surprised). And I don't want to have to go through the hassle of having radiographs done, or if they don't show anything another MRI. Ugh.

But, hip hurts, can't take it anymore, need to schedule an appointment. Which gives me anxiety.

Stupid body. Function properly.
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Ugh, so the doctor was like, "I have no idea what's wrong with you! Here, have drugs and see if it gets better." So I started steroids, muscle relaxers, PT, and icing of my hip. So a week later, I'm off my steroids and I HURT again. Like, I didn't realize how bad I was hurting until I was on meds to make me not hurt. And now it hurts so much.

Back to the doctor I go, this time for xrays and a potential MRI. Hooray. I'm so excited. -.-

On a different note, my DH text me today and said, "I wanted to tell you, but don't freak out, it isn't as bad as it sounds, I only hurt my wrist, but I got hit by a HMMWV today." :eek::doh::nono:

Stupid idiot boy! Apparently he was crossing the street and the driver was turning left, didn't see him, and just plowed in to him. I swear to God, if he manages to get himself hurt while in a freaking non-combat zone with only 10 weeks left to this deployment I'm going to freaking KILL HIM.
 
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