Parents..would you be mad?

[noludoru]

I don't think it was put there so the kid would run into it, I think it was meant as a blocker so a stranger's kid didn't get sauce all over clothing. Most of the 4 year olds I know usually have enough self awareness to stop running if they see something in front of them. And a menu isn't really a hard object. I'd imagine if she'd sidestepped, the kid would have kept coming with messy little hands.

This. :yikes: I've done the side step before, it doesn't work if they're intent upon hugging you. They have grabby little hands that are going to catch you anyway, so you basically need to run in the other direction or have some way of stopping them - by holding out a hand and yelling "STOP" or blocking yourself with something. I don't think you dealt with it in an ideal way, Fran, but I think you did the best thing possible with a half a second's notice. It's not like you had time to think about what the best possible way to keep the kid away from you was.

I do have to wonder if the parents were actually trying to be "nice," though. It actually sounds passive-aggressive from here. They couldn't have missed the fact that their kid was covered in spaghetti - face AND hands. Most parents I know make an effort to wipe their kids up after dinner or teach the children to do it themselves before they leave the table, so encouraging her filthy child to hug you sounds like she knew what she was doing. She definitely couldn't have missed the white dress.

As everyone else has already said, the parents were not only crazy, but incredibly rude to you. I don't understand people who assume that everyone loves their children as much as they do. Would I let my dog jump on anyone and lick them in the face? No, because most people would hate it. Should people let their children hug anyone and everyone? NO!

Your manager was right. *hugs* (And, for the record, I would have done far worse than stick a menu in the kid's face. There would have been "NO DON'T TOUCH ME!" and running away.)

 

[Jules]

I can't think of any somewhat out-of-control children, as in "running full throttle towards someone", who can be kept at a distance with voice control, especially from a stranger.

I don't think you did anything wrong. And I wouldn't want the messiness of a child sticking on my white dress that I have to keep wearing for another couple hours possibly. What would the parents have done? Offered you to have it dry-cleaned on their expense? I doubt it. People need to understand that not everyone wants to be groped, hugged, or touched by their children. And it's not like you smashed the kid's head with a frying pan to knock him out cold. He ran into a menu. Even if it is a hardcover bookled, meh, kids run into things all the time. They cry for a minute and then they are good to go.

And, I'm sorry, the parents set the kid up for it so they should deal with it.

 

[KenyiGirl]

I'm not a parent, but I think you did nothing wrong, Fran. It sounds like it was reflex to protect the cute new dress.

And, I'm sorry, the parents set the kid up for it so they should deal with it.

I totally agree with you Jules.

 

[Island dog]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Some parents are morons who raise morons. Who knows what else was on that grubby little kids hands - yuck. The parents were a$$holes.

EDIT: And it doesn't matter what you were wearing. What goes well with sauce from a kids hands?

 

[MPP]

I don't know if the kid learned anything from this, but maybe the parents did! :lol-sign: Why on earth would they teach their child to run up to strangers and hug them? :dunno:

No doubt if you'd had a bit more time you could have come up with a better way to handle this*, but for a split-second decision? Not bad.

*I can't imagine what that might be, but other people seem to have some decent ideas. Though sorry, I don't think shouting "STOP!" would work.

 

[HayleyMarie]

Fran, I am going to say that I probably would have done that same thing and even though I am not a parents I would not be mad nor would I be mad if I saw that same situation going on if I was eating out. I think It was rude of the parents to put you in that situation. You are there to serve their food not to a childs face cloth. Not everyone wants to be hugged by children

 

[Fran27]

i would have felt bad for the kid but would never ever have put them in such a situation in the first place... if a kid was a mess and ran to me I would probably not want a hug either and would probably have done the same thing.

 

[Paige]

I also don't see anything wrong with what you did. Best way to deal with it? No. But its not like you smacked him upside the head with a menu.

 

[eddieq]

I'd have gotten over it. I would not have put my kid in that situation in the first place. Surely you could have handled it differently, but hindsight is 20/20. It's not like you did a judo throw on the kid. You gave him a physics lesson. Action. Reaction.

 

[Taqroy]

No it probably wasn't put there so he WOULD run into it... but it was put there knowing the kid was running at you and likely would run into it.

Or maybe so that the kid would see it and say Oh maybe I should stop? I doubt her intention was for him to run into it.

yes the kid likely would have kept coming at her but a side step would have given the opportunity to say STOP.

I have several four year old cousins and when they are intent on getting to something they are intent on getting to something. Sidestepping doesn't work on most kids.

from the way the story is told it sounds like the kid didn't have enough awareness or not enough time to stop before hitting the menu.

the parents were absolutely wrong for telling their kid to just go hug someone they don't know... I'm sure their intentions were good but that doesn't excuse bad judgement. so yeah the parents were wrong... but I also think this particular reaction was wrong as well. it's a 4 year old... surely we can think of something other than putting something in the way knowing it's likely he's going to run into it.

It also sounds like she didn't have enough time to have a proper reaction. I don't think it was the best response either but I most likely would've had the same one. And if I was the type of parent that would send my little hug seeking missile off to hug an unwitting stranger I'm sure I'd be the type of parent to yell at the stranger when they thwart the hug. They kicked off the situation, they should deal with the consequences. It didn't sound like Fran had a whole lot of time to react to me.

 

[Paige]

Whats the difference between a kid running face first into a menu or Fran's dress? If he was running hard enough to hurt him on a menu he would've hurt himself just as bad running into her leg.

 

[corgipower]

I think you did the best thing possible with a half a second's notice. It's not like you had time to think about what the best possible way to keep the kid away from you was.

This...exactly.

And I really hope those parents get a clue before their kid becomes a teenager, still hugging random strangers.

 

[Juicy]

I don't think you were rude, but whats wrong with hugging random strangers?

IDK I like the whole 'free hugs' movement

YouTube - Free Hugs Campaign - Official Page (music by Sick Puppies.net )

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

Uh I think it's weird and rude that the mom wants her kid to hug random strangers. Probably it was a little rude back to face block the kid because it wasn't really.QUOTE]

I agree

I would be pretty pissed if someone knocked my kid backwards. Or face block whatever. He is a small child. How would you have liked it if someone did that to you as a child? Though I would never ask them to hug a waitress. I still think it was uncalled for. You could have spoken up im sure.

As a waitress though you can't literally afford to makes matters worse with customers. Unless you can and then I guess it shouldn't matter.

As a parent yes I would be pissed.

 

[crazy_paws]

I don't have a problem with what you did. Children need to learn boundaries.

I sincerely doubt that you had time to formulate an eloquent deterrant speech, and it's not your job to raise their child to be appropriate.

 

[Grab]

I don't know, if he wasn't paying attention and was running so hard as to knock himself backwards from a menu, I'd think her sticking out a hand/arm to stop him would also knock him for a loop. It would also open up parents to say she hit their kid or something.

I'd have likely done the same thing.

 

[Beanie]

Honestly I feel like if she had put out her hands or something to try and stop him this would have been a far worse situation. The kid would have run smack into her hands and then it would be "SHE HIT MY CHILD!" or "SHE JUST SLAPPED MY KID!" It's very unfortunate but I think trying to put the menu between you and the kid may have been the safest thing to do.

Fran DID say she felt kinda bad about the whole thing, and I would too... but sorry, random messy children running up to me to hug me? If I KNEW the child, that's totally different and I would have sucked it up, but some kid I don't even know? Nuh-uh!
I also agree with the person (sorry, I forget who!) that said it's very odd that this woman would send her VERY CLEARLY messy child to "hug the nice lady..."

ETA: Grab and I posted at the same time... I totally agree.

 

[Grab]

I don't think you were rude, but whats wrong with hugging random strangers?

IDK I like the whole 'free hugs' movement

YouTube - Free Hugs Campaign - Official Page (music by Sick Puppies.net )

It was probably more the prospect of a body full of marinara sauce being wiped upon her person

 

[Romy]

I don't know, if he wasn't paying attention and was running so hard as to knock himself backwards from a menu, I'd think her sticking out a hand/arm to stop him would also knock him for a loop. It would also open up parents to say she hit their kid or something.

This ^^

It's not like he was a toddler. 4 year olds are pretty big. It's the parent's fault anyway for encouraging their child to approach strangers like that.

Juicy, I like free hugs too. But, I'm not about to teach my daughter that she should solicit or initiate hugs from total strangers. Most children don't have very good judgment with what kinds of people are safe to hug. And I don't want her to learn that it's EVER okay for strangers to be physical with her. Especially while she's too young to understand the difference between "appropriate touching" and "inappropriate touching"

Fran, if someone blocked Aurelia with a menu I'd be fine with it. And I'd probably be miffed at Aurelia for trying to climb all over the stranger like that. As it was, the poor kid was set up for failure by his passive aggressive numbskull parents.

 

[Buckshot]

I would have explained that my rash hasn't quite healed up yet and could be contagious