I want to thank you all for all the kind words, the PMs, the emails, the messages, and everything else.
I know you all miss Ella, and some of you miss her almost as much as we do.
I try so had not to break down and go into sobbing fits because I know that where ever Ella is, if she's looking down at us, the LAST thing she wants to see is us being sad and hurting.
Ella HATED it when we were sad.
I didn't wake up at 3 am this morning in an uncontrollable sobbing fit, but I have cried.
My house is so quiet. I never knew how much silence and the lack of fur could hurt. Missing her hurts me. It hurts soooo badly.
But the empty house, the loneliness, the empty pit inside, it hurts just as much.
But at least now I can start to separate the two pains.
I borrowed my neighbor's dog yesterday. She's a Shiba Inu, so totally NOT a bully breed personality. She's reserved. But after a short walk, I brought her back in the house.
She sniffed the spot in my office where Ella's bed used to be, and I said, "You smell my Ella, don't you? What I wouldn't give to have your nose to be able to smell my Ella right now."
And I sobbed, and sobbed.
Then I went and laid down on my bed.
I welcomed her up onto my bed. She laid next to me, and she curled up against me like Ella used to when Ella felt better, and I was FINALLY able to fall asleep peacefully.