Yes it's a lot of work
And we can't crate Boris much, or he will bark/whine/scratch... he tolerates it some if we're around, but that's it.
And so what if the spoiled dog barks and whines a bit? Here it would be tough sh!t if he didn't like it.
Jules there's no point seeing a behaviorist again. We know what needs to be done to fix the issue. I even read a book about it. The idea is to reward the dog for dropping the item, over and over and over again, then getting closer etc etc. I'm sure it could work if we had hours to do it but... it's still based on bribery. Boris knows when it's a training session and knows he will get something out of it. So he's much more likely to do it then than in other circumstances. He was always the best in his class at training classes... not so much in normal circumstances.
Training and desensitizing a dog from resource guarding issues takes time and effort.
Using the food is NOT BRIBING HIM. Using food rewards teaches the dog that he need not WORRY about someone approaching his things. And in my personal experience that translates to others as well as the people in the home.
And again... it doesn't work for everyone, just for the person who trained him. So there will still be the problem of what's going to happen if the dog steals something from the babies' room then stops on the stairs destroying it, and the baby wants to go down and/or try to get the thing back?
I strongly disagree with the above. Good training WORKS, and not only for the people doing the training.
Dogs should not ever be free to have access to a child. Or vice versa. This is what crates, exercise pens, and baby gates can be judiciously used to avoid.
So I told my husband he has two months to work on it (I'll help, obviously)... if in two months it's not better, we'll find him a new home... hopefully honestly a rescue that will know what the problem is and be willing to work on it... but even then, I'm really not sure I will ever trust him around the kids once they start moving around the house and leaving their toys... and at the first sign of growling he'll have to go. We just don't have the room to leave a dog separated from us all the time, and it's not a life anyway. Things would be so much better if he stopped stealing, but we can't teach him to play with his toys because since Tips had to have emergency x-rays after eating one, we don't allow toys anymore (he destroys every single one of them). And he was always protective of some of his toys too anyway...
There's really a lot of weird things about him, like, if he's lying down under the desk and we're stepping on him by accident he will growl too. But never in the open (I could step with him 100 times when I get off the bed and he doesn't care)...
I know it's really a messed up situation all around...
In my opinion, rehoming this dog would be irresponsible at this point in time.
If you are unable to work through his issues, IMO he should be destroyed.
I can feel the frustration and the feeling of powerlessness in your posts.
I am certain this comes across to the dog as well. Sometimes you must be MENTALLY POWERFUL in order to lead a multi dog household.
If this were my dog, he would be crated except for supervised enforced exercise.
He would be obedience trained EVERY day.
He would be hand fed only, for several weeks, one morsel at a time.
He would drag a line when he was loose in my house so that I could control the situation.
While he was dragging the line I would set him up OVER and OVER and OVER again to demonstrate this behavior, and each time he did, I would reel him in, and using upward pressure on the leash and collar, I would quietly but firmly cause him to release the object he had. As he dropped the object, I would say OUT, while walking him away from it, and offer him a food treat.
He would be crated while I removed the article in question, and then I would set him up AGAIN.
I would close my ears to his protests at being confined, and I would take CONTROL of the situation AWAY from the dog.
While I was taking this proactive active positively dominant role with the dog, and controlling his every move while lose in my home, I would also control his access to areas where he "steals" things by using baby gates and closing doors to keep him out of areas where he has no business.
His crate door would also stay shut, as he would go in the crate only when I PUT him there, and come out only with my permission, whether the door was shut OR open.
Your dog needs a strong firm leader who will take control of his life and this situation and show him that he is NOT in charge.
Your crying and your feelings of helplessness come across loud and clear to him, you can bet your boots on that.
And again, this dog should NOT be rehomed if you cannot resolve his issues.
JMO as always.
