How many sexual partners have you had?
- Thread starter Paige
- Start date
Maybe because of previous experience, I can honestly say no. I marked one on the poll because I don't count rapists as sexual partners. Since that was my first experience, I'm just delighted and relieved to have found someone that is safe to be with.
Even then, I don't know that it would have mattered. If you're planning ahead of time to make a commitment to one person for life, then what does it matter what other people are like in bed? So you can be mildly dissatisfied? So you can feel happy you got a good one? Just guessing since I'm not experienced with a lot of partners, but it seems like the best partner would be the one that's taken the time to learn you and your body.
ETA: rofl Sael!
Even then, I don't know that it would have mattered. If you're planning ahead of time to make a commitment to one person for life, then what does it matter what other people are like in bed? So you can be mildly dissatisfied? So you can feel happy you got a good one? Just guessing since I'm not experienced with a lot of partners, but it seems like the best partner would be the one that's taken the time to learn you and your body.
ETA: rofl Sael!
I planned to only have one. I was young and idealistic. I was also curious as hell about what other men were like. That relationship didn't work out (see I was young and he was a useless layabout with no ambition)
Now that I am in a settled relationship I am very happy that Paul is (hopefully) the last man I will ever have sex with. Is he the best I have ever had? No. Am I upset about that? No. I love him and I am happy with him.
The best I ever had was a guy I saw casually for two months. He was GREAT from the get go, so he didn't have time to learn my body. Paul and I have been sleeping together for three years and he still doesn't quite get it, but the sex is good and I love him.
End my random rambling.
Now that I am in a settled relationship I am very happy that Paul is (hopefully) the last man I will ever have sex with. Is he the best I have ever had? No. Am I upset about that? No. I love him and I am happy with him.
The best I ever had was a guy I saw casually for two months. He was GREAT from the get go, so he didn't have time to learn my body. Paul and I have been sleeping together for three years and he still doesn't quite get it, but the sex is good and I love him.
End my random rambling.
Can't see doing that, either. I can see myself being monogamous for periods of time (I've done it before. . . but I've been celibate, too, lol) but not for forever if I have a choice in it.
And I decided a while ago that it's my sex life. . . so it's my choice to make. The only downside is that it's hard to find people who are okay with that.
And I decided a while ago that it's my sex life. . . so it's my choice to make. The only downside is that it's hard to find people who are okay with that.
never even enters my mind (and I have been married for 24 years, same guy--no one else ever). For me, sex is NOT "just sex"--it is a part of a committed relationship. I can not imagine ever having sex with someone just to have sex--just can't imagine why you would do that? (not judging anyone--just saying for me, there is no way I could do that). Sex is such a part of emotional connection and an expression of that connection and love. And learning about each other and ourselves just strengthens the relationship--without comparisons to anyone else.
I guess part of what people don't understand is that even though it is the same person, the sex doesn't have to stay the same--that would get dull for anyone! So same person for years and years....yep, but same person with different ideas, etc... how is that boring?
I guess part of what people don't understand is that even though it is the same person, the sex doesn't have to stay the same--that would get dull for anyone! So same person for years and years....yep, but same person with different ideas, etc... how is that boring?
My friend and I actually discussed this thread during hot tub time last night. She never really thought about sex as just a casual one off thing until i told her about some of the views on here... She had to stop me because she started questioning her own view and was like "Shut up... You're making casual sex sound like a not so bad idea."
I laughed.
I laughed.
Well, it has taken me a LONNG time to accept that what is right for me, is not right for anyone else.
for example, when it came to girls with multiple sex partners or open relationships.. my first reaction used to be to feel bad for her. You see, I always thought that that kind of thing was SAD or a result of other issues...
but through meeting a few of these girls (chaz and otherwise) I've come to realize that it WORKS for them, its not daddy issues or confidence issues or something sad.. its just DIFFERENT.
Now, I have also come to realize that these types of things could never work for me regardless lol. My brain doesn't compute sex not being an intimate romantic thing and that's ok with me.
Sex is special to me. It's something that goes hand in hand with a relationship, with someone I love etc...
People that know me GET IT, it makes perfect sense that I think this way because I carry the same "romantic view" to basically all aspects of my life
:rofl1: so it doesn't come as much of a surprise.
My best friend thinks sex is simply a really fun activity.she treats it sort of as some people would treat... jet skiing for example! lol
Its just a fun ride and as long as you are safe about it and the other person is
on board then..its all good! lol and I support her, because I'm her best friend and just because we think of sex in different ways doesn't mean that sex for both of us isn't a good thing!
as I like to say..
Sex in general is just like having a penis! You are free to have one and do whatever you want with it, but don't try to force it down other peoples throats! lol its rude!
(this saying also works well for religion Lol )
for example, when it came to girls with multiple sex partners or open relationships.. my first reaction used to be to feel bad for her. You see, I always thought that that kind of thing was SAD or a result of other issues...
but through meeting a few of these girls (chaz and otherwise) I've come to realize that it WORKS for them, its not daddy issues or confidence issues or something sad.. its just DIFFERENT.
Now, I have also come to realize that these types of things could never work for me regardless lol. My brain doesn't compute sex not being an intimate romantic thing and that's ok with me.
Sex is special to me. It's something that goes hand in hand with a relationship, with someone I love etc...
People that know me GET IT, it makes perfect sense that I think this way because I carry the same "romantic view" to basically all aspects of my life
:rofl1: so it doesn't come as much of a surprise.
My best friend thinks sex is simply a really fun activity.she treats it sort of as some people would treat... jet skiing for example! lol
Its just a fun ride and as long as you are safe about it and the other person is
on board then..its all good! lol and I support her, because I'm her best friend and just because we think of sex in different ways doesn't mean that sex for both of us isn't a good thing!
as I like to say..
Sex in general is just like having a penis! You are free to have one and do whatever you want with it, but don't try to force it down other peoples throats! lol its rude!
(this saying also works well for religion Lol )
I didn't answer the poll lol... but I have been with more than my fair share. I don't regret it persay because that period in my life helped shape the person I have become.
but I also came to realize how destructive a lifestyle I was living (not just the promiscuous sex... other things too that were all going on at the same time) and I'm very blessed to have come out of that with no... baggage so to speak.
The casual sex was fun at the time but I agree with Dizzy that there is just nothing like sex with someone you love. Is it swinging from the chandeleir hours of sex? NO lol. but I also realized that all those previous ones that were like that only lasted so long because I was unsatisfied. Being with the same man for (what I plan to be) the rest of my life definitely has it's advantages... like Romy said the best lover is the one that takes the time to get to know your body and know exactly what to do for you. it's freeing lol for me anyway
but I also came to realize how destructive a lifestyle I was living (not just the promiscuous sex... other things too that were all going on at the same time) and I'm very blessed to have come out of that with no... baggage so to speak.
The casual sex was fun at the time but I agree with Dizzy that there is just nothing like sex with someone you love. Is it swinging from the chandeleir hours of sex? NO lol. but I also realized that all those previous ones that were like that only lasted so long because I was unsatisfied. Being with the same man for (what I plan to be) the rest of my life definitely has it's advantages... like Romy said the best lover is the one that takes the time to get to know your body and know exactly what to do for you. it's freeing lol for me anyway