You need three more kids like this. Or you need a Falon and I'll get an Ev. Baby trade!!
Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)
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You need three more kids like this. Or you need a Falon and I'll get an Ev. Baby trade!!
ThatCrazyGroomer
Member
Just found out that my doctor is not on my insurance bracket, and I can't change my bracket until November. I saw him with Winnie. I don't want to see someone else. I also can't deliver at my hospital. Because it's not in my bracket. It's covered by BCBS, just not the insurance type I have, which is where I screwed up, I was told when I enrolled that I could see whomever I wanted wherever I wanted, and they lied. I should have checked into it and now we're screwed. I have to find a new doctor, and figure out how to pay all these bills.
ThatCrazyGroomer
Member
Star, it was at HR Block when we signed up through the marketplace, so unfortunately, no. The woman also lied to me about my deductible, and BCBS won't do anything about it because the person doesn't work for them.
Well I just found out the "exciting new changes" they're making to the maternity services in my area mean I get to choose to give birth in a hospital 2 hours away! I live rurally so it was already going to be 45 min drive but sounds like they might be closing that unit. I'm not sitting in a car for 2 hours in labour lol. Will go to another county.
~Jessie~
Chihuahua Power!
So, they are not kidding when they say newborns are tough! Lack of sleep, always wanting to feed, the amount of poop and pee... lol... it's ALL true!
Hubby went back to work on Monday after a 2 week leave which has been tough. I'm lucky that he does everything once he's home, though, including taking care of the dogs, housework, dinner, etc... and takes Nora so I can have some 'me' time.
Nora is 3 weeks old today and I'm not sure how that's possible! She's getting more alert and aware, and cracks us up multiple times a day with her faces and funny newborn antics
My mom is coming up today to spend the weekend with us, and tomorrow night hubby and I are going on a date night. I can't wait to be able to leave the house to go out to dinner! We're going to take the Honda S2000 (2 seater convertible) and I'm looking forward to being able to have a beer or 2 with dinner HAHA.
Hubby went back to work on Monday after a 2 week leave which has been tough. I'm lucky that he does everything once he's home, though, including taking care of the dogs, housework, dinner, etc... and takes Nora so I can have some 'me' time.
Nora is 3 weeks old today and I'm not sure how that's possible! She's getting more alert and aware, and cracks us up multiple times a day with her faces and funny newborn antics
My mom is coming up today to spend the weekend with us, and tomorrow night hubby and I are going on a date night. I can't wait to be able to leave the house to go out to dinner! We're going to take the Honda S2000 (2 seater convertible) and I'm looking forward to being able to have a beer or 2 with dinner HAHA.
~Jessie~
Chihuahua Power!
That really, really sucks
There's no way that BCBS will let you change plans? Have you called your doctor's office to see if they can accept your plan or put in an application to BCBS to take it? Also, I'd look to see if your hospital is considered "out of network" which often is covered under insurance for a higher amount of money out of pocket. The joys of insurance 
Wow, that's insane! We were initially 45 minutes away from our birthing center (ended up delivering in the area's best hospital which is 30 minutes away), and I thought those were far drives! Yeah, I wouldn't drive 2 hours to a hospital to deliver either. A lot can happen in 2 hours!
If you could change things about how you handled the first two weeks and hubby's transition back to work, what would you change? We will have a similar set up here (DH will take 2 weeks right after birth, but does not feel comfortable taking more, and I don't have family locally), so I'm always looking for suggestions!
Fran27
Active Member
For me having family over made it worse, but they were just making things harder because I still had to cook etc... It was a nightmare!
The first weeks definitely suck. With two it was really hard. If you can use a sling at least you can get some sort of me time while still taking care of your baby. My advice is to nap when the baby naps though.
Jessie enjoy your date night, we've had *2* in 6.5 years!
ThatCrazyGroomer that sucks. I hate that insurance crap. I hope you're not in too much debt because of it.
The first weeks definitely suck. With two it was really hard. If you can use a sling at least you can get some sort of me time while still taking care of your baby. My advice is to nap when the baby naps though.
Jessie enjoy your date night, we've had *2* in 6.5 years!
ThatCrazyGroomer that sucks. I hate that insurance crap. I hope you're not in too much debt because of it.
~Jessie~
Chihuahua Power!
Our situation was a little different since we spent 3 nights (technically 5 total with 2 nights of laboring) in the hospital, and once we went home I couldn't do anything. My mom was at our house for 6 nights total and helped out with everything, including the dogs and cooking us meals for a few days.
We prepared ahead of time by making meals and freezing them. I cannot stress the importance of this! I think we froze around 10 servings of meals, but I wish we made more. Easy things like pulled pork for sandwiches, stuffed shells, soups, etc. It saved us so much time without hubby having to run to the store or cook. I wish we made double what we made, though.
Stock up on disposable diapers. We haven't even started using cloth yet since she poops and pees so much. Having a newborn is very demanding, and it's hard to find time to even throw in laundry. I'm hoping to cloth diaper by the time she's 6 weeks old, but right now I'm trying to keep things easier on myself.
The transition from hubby being home to going back to work has been really tough on me. I find myself watching the clock every afternoon and counting down until 5pm! It helps that as soon as he gets home he takes Nora, and he always pushes me to take some time to myself without her. It's helped my sanity for sure. I can't drive yet, so he makes sure I have everything I need at home, and always gets me water before he leaves for work to make sure I'm drinking enough
He also takes care of the dogs before he leaves and when he gets home... things like this have made it easier for me to just worry about taking care of Nora.
~Jessie~
Chihuahua Power!
Thank you! I can't wait for our date night. We went from going out to lunch/dinner 5+ times a week, to being at home every day for the past 3 weeks. I love being home with Nora, but I also love having adult time with my husband!
I'm planning to freeze as much food as possible!!! I will probably have a month off before baby is due so hopefully get lots done then!!
Our set up is different to most. His office is attached to our house and the work shops etc are behind! He leaves to do services and call outs, see the odd family (he's a funeral director) but is home a huge amount of time, especially if they're not too busy. Plus self employed so won't take set paternity leave, but I've made it clear no work for 2 weeks please!!! Minimum...
His parents live about 500 yards up the hill. But are very unintrusive (I barely see them) but I'm sure will be there for babysitting duty as and when needed. Built in nanny lol
My family are nearly 4 hours away and I'm still totally undecided on what to do. It will be Xmas and as much as I love them we butt heads over things, especially giving me advice lol I don't take it well
I may really appreciate the help though...
Time will tell!!!!
Our set up is different to most. His office is attached to our house and the work shops etc are behind! He leaves to do services and call outs, see the odd family (he's a funeral director) but is home a huge amount of time, especially if they're not too busy. Plus self employed so won't take set paternity leave, but I've made it clear no work for 2 weeks please!!! Minimum...
His parents live about 500 yards up the hill. But are very unintrusive (I barely see them) but I'm sure will be there for babysitting duty as and when needed. Built in nanny lol
My family are nearly 4 hours away and I'm still totally undecided on what to do. It will be Xmas and as much as I love them we butt heads over things, especially giving me advice lol I don't take it well
I may really appreciate the help though... Time will tell!!!!
Grab
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In our case, I found the newborn time the least taxing, lol. We don't have family any closer than 1600 miles, so it was just us. And although my husband did take time off work (he's a teacher) because he's also a head coach, and our kiddo was born in the midst of their season in tournament time, he had to go out of town for the weekend a week or so after Clive was born. I found it pretty easy, mainly because when he napped, I'd either nap as well or tend to the pets, etc.
Haha, Dizzy! It's funny how that is... I woke up a few days ago and couldn't button my pants anymore. I got a belly band (which I kind of hate with a passion) and bought two dresses. I never wear dresses, so it's kind of funny that that's all I want to wear. And I am only 17 weeks along.
17!!! weeks. I remember I just found out and was so skeptical that it wasn't ectopic. Then I thought we wouldn't hear a heartbeat and then I thought it would stop growing by week 10. I don't know, I am just afraid to jinx it. My doctor thinks I am silly that I want to wait with classes, looking for a pediatrician, and all that jazz until after the 20 week ultrasound.
We've made it pubic 2 weeks ago I think and I do feel better about it now. My parents were ecstatic. Much more than I thought.
This was our fb announcement. Not the most original, but the animals weren't cooperating for a group shot.. and eh.
I haven't thought about pre-cooking meals - that is an awesome idea! I will be off work for about 3-4 months and I am sure Dan will take 2 weeks off or 3 in the beginning and work from home a few days here and there. I am kind of glad I will be home the beginning of the year, I won't have to worry about winter commute to work and can be home and cozy
17!!! weeks. I remember I just found out and was so skeptical that it wasn't ectopic. Then I thought we wouldn't hear a heartbeat and then I thought it would stop growing by week 10. I don't know, I am just afraid to jinx it. My doctor thinks I am silly that I want to wait with classes, looking for a pediatrician, and all that jazz until after the 20 week ultrasound.
We've made it pubic 2 weeks ago I think and I do feel better about it now. My parents were ecstatic. Much more than I thought.
This was our fb announcement. Not the most original, but the animals weren't cooperating for a group shot.. and eh.
I haven't thought about pre-cooking meals - that is an awesome idea! I will be off work for about 3-4 months and I am sure Dan will take 2 weeks off or 3 in the beginning and work from home a few days here and there. I am kind of glad I will be home the beginning of the year, I won't have to worry about winter commute to work and can be home and cozy
sparks19
I'd rather be at Disney
My hubby didn't have any leave time and the first week my MIL was in town. THankfully... Simce hannah was in the NICU for the week, she drove me everyday to the hospital to be with her. My mom came for the second week.
This time around... If there is a this time around... The church will jump in fir support from watching Hannah to making us meals. It's amazing to have that extended family willing to help out in any way they can!!!! We didn't have that the first time and didn't have meals made or anything but it really wasn't that bad. Hannah was an easy infant!
This time around... If there is a this time around... The church will jump in fir support from watching Hannah to making us meals. It's amazing to have that extended family willing to help out in any way they can!!!! We didn't have that the first time and didn't have meals made or anything but it really wasn't that bad. Hannah was an easy infant!
milos_mommy
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My advice for first coming home:
Make it clear to people who offer help that YOU need to bond with the baby and THEY can help by doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I had lots of "help" but the help was all "I'll hold the baby while you eat/clean/cook/etc". Next time I'll be like "nahhhh, I'LL hold the baby and YOU'LL cook".
My boyfriend only got a week off work, since we're young and broke and he's paid hourly. It was great and I cried when he went back. But after he actually went back it was pretty nice, because I managed better than I thought I would.
Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps and you will want to punch them because ok but when will you pee and get dressed and eat? (And more importantly wash bottles and clean your breast pump and pump and wash the baby's sheets??!?). I settled for napping during one of the baby's naps, (or two at first) and doing housework during other naps. I still actually do this if I sleep poorly, lol.
I think for typical (not that there's a huge typical category) newborns go through their first fussy/wonder week/whatever, at 6 weeks. That was the first time my mom got home from work (lives with us) and I was like PLEASE TAKE HER and I didn't take a 3 minute shower because I missed her too much. And then I felt like the worst mom standing in the shower because I was glad the running water drowned out her fussing.
Suddenly with a baby being home alone at night (or when a strange man knocks kn your door, a thunderstorm hits, etc) is 26 times scarier than when you were not a mom. Stuff like turning on outdoor lights, keeping a phone in reach, locking doors and windows, etc made me feel way better.
You forget what having a newborn is like in 6 months. Keep a journal. Take pictures every day. You won't remember if all the dishes are done or the floor is vacuumed or your legs are shaved a year from now, but you will remember your baby smiling at you.
Make it clear to people who offer help that YOU need to bond with the baby and THEY can help by doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I had lots of "help" but the help was all "I'll hold the baby while you eat/clean/cook/etc". Next time I'll be like "nahhhh, I'LL hold the baby and YOU'LL cook".
My boyfriend only got a week off work, since we're young and broke and he's paid hourly. It was great and I cried when he went back. But after he actually went back it was pretty nice, because I managed better than I thought I would.
Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps and you will want to punch them because ok but when will you pee and get dressed and eat? (And more importantly wash bottles and clean your breast pump and pump and wash the baby's sheets??!?). I settled for napping during one of the baby's naps, (or two at first) and doing housework during other naps. I still actually do this if I sleep poorly, lol.
I think for typical (not that there's a huge typical category) newborns go through their first fussy/wonder week/whatever, at 6 weeks. That was the first time my mom got home from work (lives with us) and I was like PLEASE TAKE HER and I didn't take a 3 minute shower because I missed her too much. And then I felt like the worst mom standing in the shower because I was glad the running water drowned out her fussing.
Suddenly with a baby being home alone at night (or when a strange man knocks kn your door, a thunderstorm hits, etc) is 26 times scarier than when you were not a mom. Stuff like turning on outdoor lights, keeping a phone in reach, locking doors and windows, etc made me feel way better.
You forget what having a newborn is like in 6 months. Keep a journal. Take pictures every day. You won't remember if all the dishes are done or the floor is vacuumed or your legs are shaved a year from now, but you will remember your baby smiling at you.
CaliTerp07
Active Member
Yes yes yes this!!! I was MISERABLE with people in my house. MIL wanted to "teach" me how to do baby things, grandmother wanted to hold the baby...and it was frustrating and stressful and I was embarrassed to try to (unsuccessfully) nurse and pump with other people in the house. If I could do it all over again, I'd tell people who wanted to help to come for 1 hour visits for specific tasks (please pick up xyz from the store, or please bring a meal, or could you wash bottles for me?), or wait a month to come. Unfortunately, we live across the country from all our family, so everyone had to fly in and limiting time wasn't possible. I spent a good portion of my 6 weeks of maternity leave holed up in my bedroom with the door locked pumping. Not fun.
My husband had 3 weeks of "paternity leave" he could use, as well as some vacation weeks. He took 1 week with me when Logan was first born (3 days in the hospital and the rest of the week at home), and then used the rest of his time off after I went back to work at 6 weeks. That part worked really well.
Best advice I have ever gotten since having the baby: "The adjustment period for any new job is at least 6 months. Think of this like a new job." It's proven true. The first 4 months SUCKED. It's such a tornado into your life. Logan is 5 months tomorrow, and I finally feel like I am getting things under control.
milos_mommy
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Yeah, I honestly think if I didn't have so many visitors early on, I would have been able to exclusively, successfully breastfeed. We're definitely limiting visitors the hospital to our immediate families next time. And I'll limit them visiting at home, too.
Also, they'll say newborns need to eat every two hours. Yeah, no. It's more like every 15-20 minutes for a while. For us I'd feed her, 20 minutes later she'd starting fussing and I'd be like no way she just ate, and spend another half hour changing, rocking, trying to burp her, seeing if she was warm or cold, til she screamed, then finally I'd be like ok it's been an hour now maybe she's hungry, nurse her, and meanwhile that was what she wanted all along. Once I realized that I felt like an idiot, and horrible for half-starving my baby, but no one tells you those things
Also, they'll say newborns need to eat every two hours. Yeah, no. It's more like every 15-20 minutes for a while. For us I'd feed her, 20 minutes later she'd starting fussing and I'd be like no way she just ate, and spend another half hour changing, rocking, trying to burp her, seeing if she was warm or cold, til she screamed, then finally I'd be like ok it's been an hour now maybe she's hungry, nurse her, and meanwhile that was what she wanted all along. Once I realized that I felt like an idiot, and horrible for half-starving my baby, but no one tells you those things