People bug me to let them have Briggs more. That a young couple needs time to themselves. Pffft. If Tyler couldn't handle it he can be with someone else. Love me, love my baby! Briggs gets watched once every six weeks overnight so we can go out... and I dig my heels in every time and hate it. I miss him, never stop talking about him and rush back to pick him up.
What's an unpopular opinion that you keep secret bc you want to avoid confrontation?
- Thread starter J. Morrison
- Start date
I think occasionally is one thing , Even once a week is alot of time to be away. When my kids DID have close grandparents , they where lucky to get to go over once a month. To sleep that is , we would always be back and forth for dinners and hang out time , so it is not like they never spent time with them.
I dont know I just dont get it , I truely LOVE being around my kids 24/7/365 if I could. I cant with work and always regret that, maybe that is why I dont feel the need to be away , because I am away so much.
okay just rambling now , but in my little mind if you feel the need to be away from your kids then something is just off .
~DISCLAIMER BECAUSE THIS VIEW IS REALLY UNPOPULAR WHENEVER I SAY IT OUT LOUD PLEASE DONT JUMP ON ME , IT IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT WRONG OR JUST CRAZY.LOL
I dont know I just dont get it , I truely LOVE being around my kids 24/7/365 if I could. I cant with work and always regret that, maybe that is why I dont feel the need to be away , because I am away so much.
okay just rambling now , but in my little mind if you feel the need to be away from your kids then something is just off .
~DISCLAIMER BECAUSE THIS VIEW IS REALLY UNPOPULAR WHENEVER I SAY IT OUT LOUD PLEASE DONT JUMP ON ME , IT IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT WRONG OR JUST CRAZY.LOL
I can count on one hand the number of date nights Brian and I have had since having hannah. that's A OK with me. but if the grandparents ever live close by I will absolutely let them take her on their own, even overnight. Miss her absolutely... I'm actually facing my first night without her in less than two weeks lol. Going to be harder on me than it is for her lol.
But... it's good for her to have some time away from us, it's good for her grandparents to get some alone time with her and it's also good for Brian and I to have some alone time together every now and then too
hannah is a priority in our lives absolutely but she's also not the ONLY priority. So yeah nothing wrong with a night away but when it's expected and when you just dump your kids on someone else all the time... that is when I have an issue.
But... it's good for her to have some time away from us, it's good for her grandparents to get some alone time with her and it's also good for Brian and I to have some alone time together every now and then too
hannah is a priority in our lives absolutely but she's also not the ONLY priority. So yeah nothing wrong with a night away but when it's expected and when you just dump your kids on someone else all the time... that is when I have an issue.
Wow, seriously?! Maybe it's not the need to be away from your kid but the want not to give up the woman that you are and also the couple that you are. My mom worked as well, and I never, never had the feeling that they didn't love me enough or didn't want to spend time with me. But I also had the luck to grow up in a household not only where I was loved, but I also knew my parents not only loved each other, but where, and still are, madly in love.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
I'm going to put on a gender bias hat here for just a moment.
It bugs the living crap out of me that there are men I know who spend their entire lives living like big kids. They don't wash their own clothes, they don't make their own meals, they don't raise their kids, they couldn't tell you where their wife/girlfriend keeps the cleaning supplies, what grade their kids are in or where they play soccer, sometimes they don't even know when their kid's birthdays are, they spend all of their time at the bar, playing video games, BSing with their buddies, and earning 50% or less of the income in their relationships but spending 75% of the wealth on their crap. It bugs me more that there are women in this world that put up with being the 80% or more of the workhorse of the relationship pulling around that kind of dead weight.
It bugs the living crap out of me that there are men I know who spend their entire lives living like big kids. They don't wash their own clothes, they don't make their own meals, they don't raise their kids, they couldn't tell you where their wife/girlfriend keeps the cleaning supplies, what grade their kids are in or where they play soccer, sometimes they don't even know when their kid's birthdays are, they spend all of their time at the bar, playing video games, BSing with their buddies, and earning 50% or less of the income in their relationships but spending 75% of the wealth on their crap. It bugs me more that there are women in this world that put up with being the 80% or more of the workhorse of the relationship pulling around that kind of dead weight.
Wow, seriously?! Maybe it's not the need to be away from your kid but the want not to give up the woman that you are and also the couple that you are. My mom worked as well, and I never, never had the feeling that they didn't love me enough or didn't want to spend time with me. But I also had the luck to grow up in a household not only where I was loved, but I also knew my parents not only loved each other, but where, and still are, madly in love.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
it's not feeling like you need to get away from yours kids. it's realizing that spending time alone with your spouse is also important. our relationship is just fine with or without a date night. it doesn't make us love each other any more or less... but it is nice to get out and just be able to hold hands and look into each others eyes without having to stop a minute later to get hannah a drink.
We dont' get it very often. i don't desire it when we don't get to go out but it is nice when it does happen
I think it depends on how much one is with their kids. One day/night a week when both parents work and the kids are in daycare/school may be a lot...when kids are at home all the time, maybe not. I would LOVE to have one day a week where I could have someone watch them...not that anyone SHOULD watch them, but it would be nice. If I could afford a nanny or something for one day a week, I would love it But they are not in school or daycare or what have you as it is.
But they are not in school or daycare or what have you as it is.
Wow, seriously?! Maybe it's not the need to be away from your kid but the want not to give up the woman that you are and also the couple that you are. My mom worked as well, and I never, never had the feeling that they didn't love me enough or didn't want to spend time with me. But I also had the luck to grow up in a household not only where I was loved, but I also knew my parents not only loved each other, but where, and still are, madly in love.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
I NEVER SAID YOUR PARENTS DID IT WRONG! I just feel different is all about kids staying away from there parents.
EDIT~ never mind , ya'll think i am a judgmental azz . have fun with that. I just know Chris and I dont have to be alone to love each other , and My kids know we love them.
Unpopular opinion: My parents had a full time nanny. I loved my childhood and I love my parents. having a nanny doesn't mean you aren't raising your kids/you don't love them.
My parents both had (well, have) careers that they loved and that kept them busy, sometimes they had to travel and sometimes they just had to have LIVES outside of us children. and I see nothing wrong with that!
There is a really vicious stigma about nannies.. that they are replacement mothers, that parents that have them are lazy, etc..etc.. but really, in many cases, it just isn't true.
Ours cooked, cleaned and also helped take care of us. I see NOTHING wrong with that, in fact, I think it's much more responsible than day cares and babysitters.
She did NOT raise us for our parents. She HELPED take care of us, she was an extra set of hands, extra eyes... extra person there to help out
Where my mom is from, NOT having a full time nanny is actually very strange.
People are SOOO against passing judgement on stay at home moms, I just wish the same went for working moms with hired help.
My two brothers and I grew up to be well rounded and happy individuals who each have a very very close bond to our parents.
Our childhoods were happy. We went to good schools, always had good food to eat, roof over our heads, clothes, and more love than we knew what to do with.
So yea, I don't see what is so wrong with us have grown up with a nanny around.
It's not like our parents were NEVER THERE lol they were there! At every ballet recital, every soccer game, every BAD violin recital lol they loved us and of course they raised us and were there for us
But they also loved their careers. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that.
Sure, there were days when nanny had to pick us up at school, or stay the weekend while they were on a business trip or cook dinner because they had to work late or take us to school.
SO WHAT?! Not being there 365 days of the week did not traumatize us or make us believe they didn't love us/have time for us :rofl1: we survived and understood that mommy and daddy have jobs and have to work sometimes!
and *GASP* we were with the nanny for 2 whole weeks while they went away on their 2nd honeymoon.
IT'S A SHOCK WE ALL SURVIVED AND DIDN'T NEED THERAPY!! :rofl1:
My parents both had (well, have) careers that they loved and that kept them busy, sometimes they had to travel and sometimes they just had to have LIVES outside of us children. and I see nothing wrong with that!
There is a really vicious stigma about nannies.. that they are replacement mothers, that parents that have them are lazy, etc..etc.. but really, in many cases, it just isn't true.
Ours cooked, cleaned and also helped take care of us. I see NOTHING wrong with that, in fact, I think it's much more responsible than day cares and babysitters.
She did NOT raise us for our parents. She HELPED take care of us, she was an extra set of hands, extra eyes... extra person there to help out
Where my mom is from, NOT having a full time nanny is actually very strange.
People are SOOO against passing judgement on stay at home moms, I just wish the same went for working moms with hired help.
My two brothers and I grew up to be well rounded and happy individuals who each have a very very close bond to our parents.
Our childhoods were happy. We went to good schools, always had good food to eat, roof over our heads, clothes, and more love than we knew what to do with.
So yea, I don't see what is so wrong with us have grown up with a nanny around.
It's not like our parents were NEVER THERE lol they were there! At every ballet recital, every soccer game, every BAD violin recital lol they loved us and of course they raised us and were there for us
But they also loved their careers. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that.
Sure, there were days when nanny had to pick us up at school, or stay the weekend while they were on a business trip or cook dinner because they had to work late or take us to school.
SO WHAT?! Not being there 365 days of the week did not traumatize us or make us believe they didn't love us/have time for us :rofl1: we survived and understood that mommy and daddy have jobs and have to work sometimes!
and *GASP* we were with the nanny for 2 whole weeks while they went away on their 2nd honeymoon.
IT'S A SHOCK WE ALL SURVIVED AND DIDN'T NEED THERAPY!! :rofl1:
Unpopular opinion: My parents had a full time nanny. I loved my childhood and I love my parents. having a nanny doesn't mean you aren't raising your kids/you don't love them.
My parents both had (well, have) careers that they loved and that kept them busy, sometimes they had to travel and sometimes they just had to have LIVES outside of us children. and I see nothing wrong with that!
There is a really vicious stigma about nannies.. that they are replacement mothers, that parents that have them are lazy, etc..etc.. but really, in many cases, it just isn't true.
Ours cooked, cleaned and also helped take care of us. I see NOTHING wrong with that, in fact, I think it's much more responsible than day cares and babysitters.
She did NOT raise us for our parents. She HELPED take care of us, she was an extra set of hands, extra eyes... extra person there to help out
Where my mom is from, NOT having a full time nanny is actually very strange.
People are SOOO against passing judgement on stay at home moms, I just wish the same went for working moms with hired help.
My two brothers and I grew up to be well rounded and happy individuals who each have a very very close bond to our parents.
Our childhoods were happy. We went to good schools, always had good food to eat, roof over our heads, clothes, and more love than we knew what to do with.
So yea, I don't see what is so wrong with us have grown up with a nanny around.
It's not like our parents were NEVER THERE lol they were there! At every ballet recital, every soccer game, every BAD violin recital lol they loved us and of course they raised us and were there for us
But they also loved their careers. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that.
Sure, there were days when nanny had to pick us up at school, or stay the weekend while they were on a business trip or cook dinner because they had to work late. SO WHAT?! Not being there 365 days of the week did not traumatize us :rofl1: we survived and we loved them anyway! lol
My parents both had (well, have) careers that they loved and that kept them busy, sometimes they had to travel and sometimes they just had to have LIVES outside of us children. and I see nothing wrong with that!
There is a really vicious stigma about nannies.. that they are replacement mothers, that parents that have them are lazy, etc..etc.. but really, in many cases, it just isn't true.
Ours cooked, cleaned and also helped take care of us. I see NOTHING wrong with that, in fact, I think it's much more responsible than day cares and babysitters.
She did NOT raise us for our parents. She HELPED take care of us, she was an extra set of hands, extra eyes... extra person there to help out
Where my mom is from, NOT having a full time nanny is actually very strange.
People are SOOO against passing judgement on stay at home moms, I just wish the same went for working moms with hired help.
My two brothers and I grew up to be well rounded and happy individuals who each have a very very close bond to our parents.
Our childhoods were happy. We went to good schools, always had good food to eat, roof over our heads, clothes, and more love than we knew what to do with.
So yea, I don't see what is so wrong with us have grown up with a nanny around.
It's not like our parents were NEVER THERE lol they were there! At every ballet recital, every soccer game, every BAD violin recital lol they loved us and of course they raised us and were there for us
But they also loved their careers. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that.
Sure, there were days when nanny had to pick us up at school, or stay the weekend while they were on a business trip or cook dinner because they had to work late. SO WHAT?! Not being there 365 days of the week did not traumatize us :rofl1: we survived and we loved them anyway! lol
I see nothing wrong with working parents, parents who need a break or really anything under the sun so long as they put in an effort to love and bond with their children.
what are you getting upset about?
No one said you couldn't love your husband without having date night. I love my hubby and incredible amount and vice versa and we have a wonderful relationship with or without date night... but when we do get a date night, I'm not going to lie, it's nice to be alone... just the two of us. We LOVE LOVE LOVE our time "all three of us" as a family but it's also nice to have time just me and hannah, just daddy and Hannah, just brian and I. It's nice to change it up once in a while.
but like Greenmagick, I think it depends on how much time you are home and with your kids. I am with Hannah 24/7. I love it. i wouldn't change anything. but that could be why I don't see too much wrong with a night out.
No one said you couldn't love your husband without having date night. I love my hubby and incredible amount and vice versa and we have a wonderful relationship with or without date night... but when we do get a date night, I'm not going to lie, it's nice to be alone... just the two of us. We LOVE LOVE LOVE our time "all three of us" as a family but it's also nice to have time just me and hannah, just daddy and Hannah, just brian and I. It's nice to change it up once in a while.
but like Greenmagick, I think it depends on how much time you are home and with your kids. I am with Hannah 24/7. I love it. i wouldn't change anything. but that could be why I don't see too much wrong with a night out.
There is a huge stigma attached to the whole nanny thing.. no idea why really.
maybe it's because the nanny is there a lot/most of the time..so people think these people aren't raising their own kids. Who knows..
My parents got HELL for it by a bunch of other parents.. like "OH GOD WHY DON'T YOU QUIT YOUR JOB!?!" (speaking to my mother of course. )
part in bold *SLOW CLAP*
maybe it's because the nanny is there a lot/most of the time..so people think these people aren't raising their own kids. Who knows..
My parents got HELL for it by a bunch of other parents.. like "OH GOD WHY DON'T YOU QUIT YOUR JOB!?!" (speaking to my mother of course. )
part in bold *SLOW CLAP*
Wow, seriously?! Maybe it's not the need to be away from your kid but the want not to give up the woman that you are and also the couple that you are. My mom worked as well, and I never, never had the feeling that they didn't love me enough or didn't want to spend time with me. But I also had the luck to grow up in a household not only where I was loved, but I also knew my parents not only loved each other, but where, and still are, madly in love.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
But to pride yourself that you were never away more times than you can count on one hand, and everything else is "off", is extremely judgmental.
I think one of the best gifts you can give your children is a healthy relationship with their father (or mother). I know way too many people whose relationships disintegrated once the kids left the house, because all they'd been doing for 18 years was being parents, not a couple.
My FIL said it best. On date nights, he'd tell the kids (my husband and BIL) that "he loved them, but he chose their mother, and I need to keep choosing her". They have one of the best relationships I've ever seen, and I'm so grateful for the good example they set for their sons. My husband is so good about setting aside designated time each week to spend with me without distractions.
My parents were pretty good about going out when we were little, but they basically stopped when we hit junior high, which sucked--that's the age you really need to see your parents setting a good example of what relationships should look like.
My FIL said it best. On date nights, he'd tell the kids (my husband and BIL) that "he loved them, but he chose their mother, and I need to keep choosing her". They have one of the best relationships I've ever seen, and I'm so grateful for the good example they set for their sons. My husband is so good about setting aside designated time each week to spend with me without distractions.
My parents were pretty good about going out when we were little, but they basically stopped when we hit junior high, which sucked--that's the age you really need to see your parents setting a good example of what relationships should look like.
I agree. Brian says it all the time too... The best thing he can do for hannah is lOve her mother (me obviously lol)
I don't think you have to go out tO be a loving couple but it easy to let things get stale
We don't get much alone time (unless you count when hannah is in bed. One very good reason for a set bedtime lol). So we have to find other ways to keep it from getting stale.
I don't think you have to go out tO be a loving couple but it easy to let things get stale
We don't get much alone time (unless you count when hannah is in bed. One very good reason for a set bedtime lol). So we have to find other ways to keep it from getting stale.
