What do you do when....
- Thread starter Domestika
- Start date
Last night I was in the same situation..
I did some girly things that I like to do but rarely have the time.
I took a long hot bubble bath with the candles lit and turned the lights off and listened to classical music. I gave myself a facial, Gave myself a full manicure/pedicure. Did my eye brows. And sorted thru my drawers/closet and thru out some stuff I didnt want/need anymore and cleaned the rest of it up a bit. Then I watched a movie with keely and cuddled.. I havent felt as good as I did last night in many, many months.
ETA: Actually, id just go ahead with renees Idea
I did some girly things that I like to do but rarely have the time.
I took a long hot bubble bath with the candles lit and turned the lights off and listened to classical music. I gave myself a facial, Gave myself a full manicure/pedicure. Did my eye brows. And sorted thru my drawers/closet and thru out some stuff I didnt want/need anymore and cleaned the rest of it up a bit. Then I watched a movie with keely and cuddled.. I havent felt as good as I did last night in many, many months.
ETA: Actually, id just go ahead with renees Idea
Maybe you should kill some time and tell us all about him?
Long story short: he's an ex from before I met my ex-husband. I ended the relationship because he was ULTRA clingy. Started talking again a few months ago, seemed like we were back on track relationship-wise, I leaped right into it and then got clobbered with a "I just want to be your friend".
I'm working on getting him out of my head. And doing a great job. Just, quiet nights tend to bring it back up.
Booooo......
Talk it out so you can get it over and done with
Then write him off as your rebound guy and get on with life!
Then write him off as your rebound guy and get on with life!
And I don't know what there is to gain from talking it out. The whole thing was pretty weird. While we were kinda working on getting back to a relationship he said a) I love you, I never stopped loving you, I can see us married down the road and b) I don't want to be in a long distance relationship, I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now, I don't want to be in a relationship when I'm between jobs, I'm still hurt from you dumping me and have to get over that, I don't want to be in a relationship while you're still technically married.
And comments (a) and (b) were interwoven for weeks. Tres confusing. Finally I told him straight out "I've been totally honest with you about where I'm at but I don't feel you're being complete honest with me" and he said "You're right. I don't think at this point that I want to be in an intimate relationship with you. But I really want to be friends." Like, a week after he went off on comment (a).
And I know this sounds really typical and "guys say things" and "you got played", etc, etc. But the super confusing part is that he's a genuinely NICE GUY who doesn't play people and doesn't have it in him to lie and be selfish. So I told him goodbye and I've been scratching my head ever since.
Apparently my activity for tonight is going to be rambling on about this.
Ramble more to us. It usually helps.
CynicalStef is here to give you option B when it comes to "he's a nice guy, though. He could just be a liar who is really, really good at hiding things. Hopefully not the case, but it's a possibility. I've known super nice people for months/years who turned out to be douchey liars.
CynicalStef is here to give you option B when it comes to "he's a nice guy, though. He could just be a liar who is really, really good at hiding things. Hopefully not the case, but it's a possibility. I've known super nice people for months/years who turned out to be douchey liars.
How bizarre!
Honestly, the hardest thing for me has been realising that I might have been wrong. I'm kinda flabbergasted. We were together for two years before I got married and he was well loved by everyone in my life. He was always honest and exceptionally kind to everyone.
And when we got to know each other again a few months ago, after almost 5 years of not talking, he seemed to be much the same. He also still has all of the same negative attributes as well.
The one trait he did pick up since we broke up seems to be that he became...well, a slut. Apparently he slept with well over a dozen women in the couple of years after we split. The vast majority were not relationships. That's the only thing that gave me pause and made me wonder...has he fundamentally changed in some way? He was NEVER that kind of person before.
So the hardest part for me is understanding that I may have been totally wrong about him. I'm usually not wrong about people. :/
Honestly, the hardest thing for me has been realising that I might have been wrong. I'm kinda flabbergasted. We were together for two years before I got married and he was well loved by everyone in my life. He was always honest and exceptionally kind to everyone.
And when we got to know each other again a few months ago, after almost 5 years of not talking, he seemed to be much the same. He also still has all of the same negative attributes as well.
The one trait he did pick up since we broke up seems to be that he became...well, a slut. Apparently he slept with well over a dozen women in the couple of years after we split. The vast majority were not relationships. That's the only thing that gave me pause and made me wonder...has he fundamentally changed in some way? He was NEVER that kind of person before.
So the hardest part for me is understanding that I may have been totally wrong about him. I'm usually not wrong about people. :/
I'm totally on board with that. It's just VERY out of character for him. To just go on a...sex bender for 2 years is kinda weird for him. To me, it indicated that something in his priorities had changed.
Of course, I really never got the chance to find out if it was just a weird phase for him or an actual change in attitude.Things were over pretty darn quick!
Of course, I really never got the chance to find out if it was just a weird phase for him or an actual change in attitude.Things were over pretty darn quick!