The Venting Thread

[JazzyTheSibe]

JazzyTheSibe,

I don't think anyone here hates you. I'm sorry you are so down. (((Hugs))) If you ever need to talk I am just a PM away.

Thank you! I hate feeling like this, I guess, in a way, I'm getting use to it, because feeling like this is so common (for me)

(((HUGS))) back.

And, if you ever need to talk, you can PM me too(& this goes for anyone else.)

Jazzy, I can't speak for everyone here, but I for one think you're pretty **** cool.

Awww. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it.

(((HUGS))) to you. I hope things are going slightly better for you,& that your not feeling so low

Jazzy, I think you're pretty cool

Thanks. It really means a lot to me.

Well I definitely don't hate you Jazzy.

I am also pretty sure that the rest of the folks on this board do not hate you either.

(((Hugs)))

(((Hugs))) back.

Thank you so much

I'd love to meet you one day. If only you lived closer-well, it's only about 2 hours, but still.

Unfortunately, most of the times, it does feel like everyone hates me. Which most likely, isn't true, but, I keep feeling like this is true, even when people say it isn't. I think it is Depression related, & due to how others have treated me in the past.

 

[Dizzy]

Oko, social work and working with the most vulnerable people in society changes your whole being. You see things differently. Most people respond from their own perspective and can't understand others reactions as they've never walked in their shoes. Society is NOT made equal. People DON'T have the same opportunities. It's not as simple as just making good choices. Children are not born evil. People are not BORN evil. There's always a journey. Always always always. Even people you THINK just make bad choices have a journey to that point.

I've worked with horrid people. Middle class, white, nice upbringing people who do horrible things. People say 'they should know better' etc etc etc. They probably should, but they ALL have a journey to their current life and usually it's hard and not nice. People say they should get out of it and change. They should choose life. It's HARD and they aren't you and that's not how the world or people work. Just because your friend/relative/neighbour did it... They're the lucky ones...

Humans are complex, but we are also moulded. Even tiny tiny changes and experiences can alter our decision making ability, ability to form relationships, make choices. And it starts in the womb. We completely underestimate the effect of our environment and it's massive influence. Then throw in genetics. It's treacherous!!!! So you MAY THINK someone has had opportunities, idyllic life, education... But actually you don't know what's going on for them internally or how that insignificant event that happened when they were 3 or in the womb, or in school has altered their world and their ability to be positive in it and make positive choices. That's why siblings can grow up so differently... They live totally different experiences in the same environment.

Wow not sure where that came from... Maybe I'm missing work LOL

Just never presume you know why someone did something you can't understand or don't agree with. Don't assume they should just be able to know better or think differently. It's not always the case... And mix in community, herd mentality, all other host of complex other factors and you may JUST touch on human beings!

 

[SoCrafty]

Dizzy - that was worded SO PERFECTLY.

obligatory lower case.

 

[Moth]

(((Hugs))) back.

Thank you so much

I'd love to meet you one day. If only you lived closer-well, it's only about 2 hours, but still.

Unfortunately, most of the times, it does feel like everyone hates me. Which most likely, isn't true, but, I keep feeling like this is true, even when people say it isn't. I think it is Depression related, & due to how others have treated me in the past.

I am sure something could be arranged... When the weather gets nicer again we often go to dog events here and there. If one we end up going to is close enough we could meet up at a dog show or a lure coursing event or something

Well the people that treated you lousy suck and their opinion doesn't count

So take it from Chaz... You are awesome! Just like the rest of us here

 

[sassafras]

Oko, social work and working with the most vulnerable people in society changes your whole being. You see things differently. Most people respond from their own perspective and can't understand others reactions as they've never walked in their shoes. Society is NOT made equal. People DON'T have the same opportunities. It's not as simple as just making good choices. Children are not born evil. People are not BORN evil. There's always a journey. Always always always. Even people you THINK just make bad choices have a journey to that point.

I've worked with horrid people. Middle class, white, nice upbringing people who do horrible things. People say 'they should know better' etc etc etc. They probably should, but they ALL have a journey to their current life and usually it's hard and not nice. People say they should get out of it and change. They should choose life. It's HARD and they aren't you and that's not how the world or people work. Just because your friend/relative/neighbour did it... They're the lucky ones...

Humans are complex, but we are also moulded. Even tiny tiny changes and experiences can alter our decision making ability, ability to form relationships, make choices. And it starts in the womb. We completely underestimate the effect of our environment and it's massive influence. Then throw in genetics. It's treacherous!!!! So you MAY THINK someone has had opportunities, idyllic life, education... But actually you don't know what's going on for them internally or how that insignificant event that happened when they were 3 or in the womb, or in school has altered their world and their ability to be positive in it and make positive choices. That's why siblings can grow up so differently... They live totally different experiences in the same environment.

Wow not sure where that came from... Maybe I'm missing work LOL

Just never presume you know why someone did something you can't understand or don't agree with. Don't assume they should just be able to know better or think differently. It's not always the case... And mix in community, herd mentality, all other host of complex other factors and you may JUST touch on human beings!

"We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are."

Can't even remember who said that. But I try to keep it close to my heart.

 

[Dizzy]

"We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are."

Can't even remember who said that. But I try to keep it close to my heart.

Haha yes that.

And how we get to who we are is fascinating Part of my job (a large part) is assessing parents particularly around their ability to change. It they have capacity to change and if they can change in the time scale for that child/children. Ie, how long will the child be exposed to the behaviour of the adult before the adult is able to change.

To do that I look at EVERY LITTLE part of their life. Past, present. All their experiences, their environment, circumstances, experiences of being parented, relationships, homes, neighbourhoods etc etc etc. And analyse that in conjunction with the child's whole world (all their needs you can think of).

You learn a lot about humans. We ain't so free thinking as we think we are it takes a lot of insight and work to fight against your programming. Especially because most people don't even realise their functioning and thinking is stemming from all that. They just think they're a free thinking person. You're not

 

[RD]

Yeah. You can't do that. Apparently under Ohio or city law the "gun" counts as a gun you're not allowed to possess anyway. Probably changes the mindset of the cops further.

As an airsoft enthusiast, very much this. Without the orange tip, the gun is basically illegal as it's indistinguishable from a real weapon.

That story is close to my town and hit pretty hard around here. The kid was being a complete punkass jerk, but had nonlethal force been the go-to option, a life wouldn't have been lost.

People have every right to riot and protest as they see fit. I don't agree with the people who are destroying their own community and destroying more lives to protest the life that was lost. I think it's dumb.

And I'm still so ****ing blown away that in 2014 we are still fighting these issues with racial tension. OF ALL THE ****ED UP THINGS PEOPLE DO, there's still this separation between people based on skin color and oh my god it angers me sooooo much. Angers me that as a white person I'm judged and assumed to be racist, but straight up boils my blood that people of a browner persuasion are dealing with threats to their life because they simply happen to be dark skinned and interact with law enforcement. HOW DO WHITE PEOPLE NOT SEE THIS? It sucks to be judged and assumed to be racist when you're not, but oh my god I feel so fortunate that I can run in public without people thinking I've stolen something, that I can stuff my hands in my pockets when I'm cold without people thinking I'm concealing a weapon, that I can be pulled over for running a stop sign and receive a ticket instead of a night in a cell.

One of my work friends was nearly arrested while he was getting a freaking hamburger at Burger King, because he "ran from" highway patrol. He actually didn't. He wasn't even that person. The police just thought he LOOKED like the guy who ran from them, so they took it upon themselves to man handle him, in public, in his hometown. Because they couldn't tell the difference between him and another black guy. Had the mother of his kid not been there with him, he'd have been arrested. Because they couldn't tell the difference between him and another black guy. Even if they could, what on earth could he have done? Sure wouldn't want to speak up for yourself, lest they perceive you as violent and decide a bullet is the best way to stop that potential assault. Seriously, this isn't an issue?

 

[Sekah]

I have a few airsoft guns and my husband and I play periodically. They're insanely real. They don't even need the orange tips here. The culture is a bit weird too. There are lots of people who are just in it to have some fun, but some people are a bit nuts about it. It's just cosplay and laser tag as far as I'm concerned.

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled guntalk.

 

[RD]

I have a few airsoft guns and my husband and I play periodically. They're insanely real. They don't even need the orange tips here. The culture is a bit weird too. There are lots of people who are just in it to have some fun, but some people are a bit nuts about it. It's just cosplay and laser tag as far as I'm concerned.

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled guntalk.

I agree about airsoft! The guns, especially the fullmetal replicas, are SO realistic and that's part of what makes it cool to me. It's like call of duty IRL. It's fun for the twelve year old boy in all of us.

 

[Beanie]

One of my work friends was nearly arrested while he was getting a freaking hamburger at Burger King, because he "ran from" highway patrol. He actually didn't. He wasn't even that person. The police just thought he LOOKED like the guy who ran from them, so they took it upon themselves to man handle him, in public, in his hometown. Because they couldn't tell the difference between him and another black guy.

I think I've told this story here before but my friend was walking home one night and suddenly found himself surrounded by five cops, all with their guns drawn and pointing at him. Because he is a tall, black man, therefore he "fit the description" of two black men who had robbed a bank earlier that day.


I still can't get over when he was walking me to my car after a night of drinking and some other black man was walking the opposite direction and started saying "Come on, man, what are you doing? You were raised better than that," because I'm white. I'm NOT actually his girlfriend. But his girlfriend is my friend and yes, she does happen to be white. This was about two months ago but I'm still really upset about it, not necessarily because it was aimed at me, but because I cannot deal with this being the reality that we actually live in. That this stuff really happens, just walking down the street. And it probably happens to him and his ACTUAL girlfriend all the time, and I only had to deal with it that one night but they probably deal with it a lot.

I think that's part of the problem, we all like to believe we are advanced and that we've come so far. We pat ourselves on the back because gay people now have the right to marry and yet black children are being killed in the streets and nothing happens to their killers. Not even manslaughter charges... because "they were probably going to grow up to be thugs anyway." This is the real world, and I think it's uncomfortable for people because they would prefer to pretend people are NOT systematically disenfranchised because of the color of their skin, and when riots happen like this they are being confronted with this truth. It is so much easier to pretend that isn't the truth and that people are rioting because they are stupid, thugs, it totally proves their point about how all black people should be shot because SEE, they are RIOTING... rather than face the truth and accept that we are not as socially advanced as we want to pretend we are.

 

[RD]

I still can't get over when he was walking me to my car after a night of drinking and some other black man was walking the opposite direction and started saying "Come on, man, what are you doing? You were raised better than that," because I'm white. I'm NOT actually his girlfriend. But his girlfriend is my friend and yes, she does happen to be white. This was about two months ago but I'm still really upset about it, not necessarily because it was aimed at me, but because I cannot deal with this being the reality that we actually live in. That this stuff really happens, just walking down the street. And it probably happens to him and his ACTUAL girlfriend all the time, and I only had to deal with it that one night but they probably deal with it a lot.

This would enrage me. Does enrage me. You don't have to be the racial majority to be incredibly, painfully racist. "Raised better" than to spend time around a person of a different ethnicity? :madgo: Imagine the backlash if a white person said that to YOU.

I just honestly can NOT believe this is still an issue for America. ****ing disgusting. We aren't socially advanced if we can't handle these issues. Grats, government, you managed to let gay people get married but you have a much larger social, cultural demon within a huge percentage of your citizens and your law enforcement. And it won't be as easy to handle as passing a bill.

I'm completely for video surveillance of police officers. Strap em with GoPros as part of their uniform. Police should be held accountable for their actions while they hold others accountable for theirs.

 

[Dizzy]

I've found/observed America to be a world of complete extremes in mostly everything. It's like you don't have any middle ground.

Poverty, health care, attitudes, religion, politics. You're either ALL IN or ALL OUT.

That's just my observations though.

 

[Sekah]

I've found/observed America to be a world of complete extremes in mostly everything. It's like you don't have any middle ground.

Poverty, health care, attitudes, religion, politics. You're either ALL IN or ALL OUT.

That's just my observations though.

The people at the edges shout the loudest and drown out the moderates in the middle.

 

[AllieMackie]

There is so much confusion swirling around what my SO will be doing next for work. (He's a consultant for a large tech firm.)

Old contract is here in the city with government. New contract is in another province. Old contract needs to get a replacement for him before he can take on new contract full-time. Though he'd have to work there half the time to start, he'd eventually be able to work remotely.

But right now they can't decide where or when they'll put him. He's gotta travel for a week sometime this month and we don't know when. My anxiety is spiraling with these unknowns.

It's so stupid - I'm fine while he's gone. I take the time to do things for myself that I often don't have time to do, hang with the pets, go out with friends, and have a good time. I'm not curled up in a ball of anxiety while he's gone.

It's just the unknowns. Unknowns make me scared, even though either turnout would be perfectly fine. He could be gone for a month or three at a time and I'd probably be okay (just lonely).

Anxiety is dumb.

On the plus side, I'm seeing a new counselor focused on ACT techniques, so yay for good timing?

 

[Fran101]

Somebody needs to inform the I AM A DOG BEHAVIORIST FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF FACEBOOK GROUPS peopel that a dog lip licking in a video is not an automatic sign of stress/reason to bitch

and even if it is...it's a dog in a costume walking around.
Relax. A little stress is really not a huge deal and it's not like there is a kid being shoved in it's face.

 

[Linds]

Lip licking=Terrified and needs to be commented on so everyone knows I know what lip licking means.

And Fran, I saw that same post and rolled my eyes

 

[Melle]

As upset as I am and concerned by the events surrounding Ferguson, it's really destroying what progress I've made with my anxiety that everywhere I turn and any screen I look at is just heavy, heavy news and it's seriously bogging me down and stirring up my irrational fears :/

I'm concerned with humanitarian issues but I can't continuously be bombarded by news/information overload. I just kinda feel like my mind has run out of safe secure places.

 

[JessLough]

I think my new foster is adrenal

Good news: getting him on meds for it may make him believe Nacho can live!

 

[Grab]

My guinea pig should be having babies any day. She's contentedly holding onto them. You can feel all of their body parts and feel them grind their teeth now For heaven's sake, Fig, share the baby cuteness!

 

[noludoru]

Came home to find the kitchen a wreck, with blood from partially cooked birds on the counter and sangria spilled on the fridge. Most importantly, light were all on, heat was off and the LBD was nestled inside a couch cushion fort to stay warm. It's 40 degrees and he has no sweater! HE'S OLD. STOP THIS. WE HAVE HAD DISCUSSIONS ABOUT IT.

We have ALSO had discussions about how the bills went down by SEVENTY ****ING DOLLARS by leaving the heat on and turning all lights OFF. Let's save some money. K?