now what do i do??

[nancy2394]

I am so caught in the middle of emotions. This morning we are all set and planning our move to maine. I sold a bunch of our stuff on craigslist today and made over 400 dollars. I was struggling all day with the thought of moving and kept asking myself if it was the right decision or was I running away. My heart kept telling me to stay but my head kept telling me to go.... there was no happy medium.

I was trying to convince myself that moving to maine was the best thing for me. But there was still some doubt in the back of my head. Just a little bit of hesitation. But I was still planning on going because I just felt like I had to flee.

Well....................... another twist of events occured today. I really can't say what's going on at this time, but it's made me re think my decision to leave for maine. I have a whole lot of soul searching to do in a very short amount of time. It's moments like this that I wish someone could come step in and make my decision for me and tell me it's the right decision to make. I am truly torn and have reached a fork in the road.

 

[PoodleMommy]

Nancy you just need to follow your head and not your heart, I know this is opposite of what most people say, but you really need to think about what is right for YOU, what will help you in the long run, and what will make you HAPPY and HEALTHY!

I am sure you will make the right decision! Good Luck with that decision.

 

[nancy2394]

moving to maine won't make me happy. I will be leaving the job I love, some of the best friends I could ever ask for, not to mention my daughter and grandbabies. I kept convincing myself that moving over 1000 miles away would force me not to be able to run to her rescue over and over again and get hurt in the process.

But now I have an additional worry to think about that I can't mention right now. I am afraid the decision I had made to move to maine was a made in haste. I was awake for nearly 48 hours straight, and was in utter despair. It was such a sudden decision, with no thought behind it. I'm having a difficult time knowing whether it was the right decision. I guess I am second guessing myself.

There are just so many factors that have an impact on what I should do. I am going to think about it and weigh my options again and see if I can come up with a plan. I'm not sure the move is not going to happen or if it will happen. I'm looking for a sense of peace either way.

 

[cpostelwait31]

I am so caught in the middle of emotions. This morning we are all set and planning our move to maine. I sold a bunch of our stuff on craigslist today and made over 400 dollars. I was struggling all day with the thought of moving and kept asking myself if it was the right decision or was I running away. My heart kept telling me to stay but my head kept telling me to go.... there was no happy medium.

I was trying to convince myself that moving to maine was the best thing for me. But there was still some doubt in the back of my head. Just a little bit of hesitation. But I was still planning on going because I just felt like I had to flee.

Well....................... another twist of events occured today. I really can't say what's going on at this time, but it's made me re think my decision to leave for maine. I have a whole lot of soul searching to do in a very short amount of time. It's moments like this that I wish someone could come step in and make my decision for me and tell me it's the right decision to make. I am truly torn and have reached a fork in the road.

Hello nancy, I hear you... Hugs for you... You know it's always you who knows what's the best for you... Whatever it is that makes you happy go for it... We may share our experiences about moving from here to there... But we can't tell what's good for you... Follow where your heart will lead you, don't be afraid of taking chances, never hesitate to do what you love to do, if in one way you have encountered some faults, go on it's okay, you'll learn from it anyway... Good luck!!! Leave it all to God, it's fine...

 

[JennSLK]

is there someone you can talk to? A pastor? Friend? Parents?

Hugs, I will pray for you tonight

 

[mrose_s]

I recently had this situation occur. My mum rocked up where I was living and basically said "we're leaving for the 3 days trip home in 3 hours. If you want to come back, choose now."
I had no intention of going back my in my head it made sense, where I was I had no transport, friends or job. I knew up here I had all 3.

I've been back a little over 2 weeks, my old job which I loved took me back straight away, my friends - who I probably didn't appreciate before I left were all really happy to see me.

On Sunday ngiht they called and told me we were going up to an islad for the day. Yesterday was the bet day I've had in years, 12 hours of swimming, fishing and 4WDing. It the first time in 3 or 4 years that i've actually felt like I'm in the right place.

I'm now about 4 weeks away from getting my license and then I'm buying my own car.

Its your decision, I cried half the trip back because I never wanted to come back, so glad I did though.

 

[Renee750il]

Nancy, I'm afraid you're going to have to do some real thinking on this one.

Something to remember: "insanity is repeating the same action over and over -- and expecting a different result."

 

[nancy2394]

I think I have some peace about my original decision. I realized yet again that things are NOT going to change unless arielle is forced to stand on her own two feet. If I stay here, she will aways know she can come home whenever she gets in a fight with him. She will constantly be back and forth and I'm just tired of being a revolving door.

This move is something I need to do. Maybe it's not what I truly want to do... but it's my chance to get a new start and begin to heal my heart that's been broken one too many times. We are planning on leaving by next week, sometime before Christmas. I'm not sure why, but part of me wants to stand on a roof top and scream "merry effin christmas" The time of year is making this so much harder for me. But, I will get through this.

 

[Renee750il]

Good grrrl, Nancy.

 

[puppydog]

This time of year does suck! I think you are making the right decision. She should really be ashamed of using you like this.

 

[nancy2394]

This time of year does suck! I think you are making the right decision. She should really be ashamed of using you like this.

She has had me on the worst roller coaster ride... especially tonight. A person gets to a point where enough is enough. As much as I'd like to rescue her from her horrible decisions she continues to repeatedly make, I know it's not possible.

I love her to pieces and that's why I feel like I have to cut her loose. I am not doing her any favors by always picking up the pieces and trying to "fix" things for her. She has grown to expect momma bear to come to her rescue. Momma bear is tired of coming to her rescue when the end result is always the same.

I pray that one day God will be able to get through to her and give her the strength to get out of that abusive relationship. But she may have endure some tough times with no one by her side that truly loves her. It will hopefully make her a stronger and more independant person one day. I guess this is what they call tough love.

 

[puppydog]

You are being very brave.

 

[bubbatd]

My feeling now is that you made the decision in haste . You love your house and your job and your are doubting the move . Yes , follow your head but listen to your heart . You never want to say " I wish I hadn't " . Prayers for you .

 

[Fran27]

It's a hard one... you're the only one who can get the answer though.

 

[smkie]

ARe you sure you can't stay strong and united in your stand where your at? IT would be a lot easier to hang up, stay firm but stay where you have your job and friends than it would be to move. I don't see why you have to make that kind of sacrifice because of her decisions.

 

[nancy2394]

ARe you sure you can't stay strong and united in your stand where your at? IT would be a lot easier to hang up, stay firm but stay where you have your job and friends than it would be to move. I don't see why you have to make that kind of sacrifice because of her decisions.

I am not strong enough to say no to arielle when she comes back wanting us to take her in. It is in my best interest to start over far enough away that she can't just come home because she's mad at him.

 

[ACooper]

I am not strong enough to say no to arielle when she comes back wanting us to take her in. It is in my best interest to start over far enough away that she can't just come home because she's mad at him.

That would be hard for me too Nancy, and I was going to respond much the same way.

 

[cpostelwait31]

Hi Nancy! Why don't you just give yourself a little break, visit some friends for a while, time can heal everything... Afraid to say this, but you don't seem to be really ready for moving to Maine... we can run but we can't really hide to the problems of the real world...

 

[nancy2394]

Hi Nancy! Why don't you just give yourself a little break, visit some friends for a while, time can heal everything... Afraid to say this, but you don't seem to be really ready for moving to Maine... we can run but we can't really hide to the problems of the real world...

It's amazing how many things have occured just in the last few days. There was one incident that happened that has made it nearly impossible to move and leave arielle behind. I wished I could elaborate on what's been going on, but I can't. Arielle needs me more than she's ever needed me before. I guess I just can't abandon her yet.

We've decided to stay for the time being. I know I've changed my mind so many times in the past several days. I'm still not sure I'm making the right decision to stay. But the guilt I'd have if something happened to her with me being that far away is a guilt I'd never get rid of.

We've sat down with her and talked at length. I've laid everything on the table as far as what our expectations are. I told her I know she is an adult, but as long as she would be living under our roof... there would be some changes being made. She also has agreed to get in some counceling.

We're looking at a few places again today to move to. So far, there's not much out there that is available. I'm trying to stay in a certain price range since I am the only one with a paycheck coming in. I definately don't want to move into an apartment. But I'm having to reconsider possibly moving into a condo, townhouse or duplex. We found a condo that is technically 2 bedrooms, but could be turned into a 3 bedroom but the 3rd bedroom would be lacking a closet.

Not sure if we will get that place or not, we'll find out later today. There was a lot of people that were inquiring about it and someone actually put down money to hold it. But we went and met with the guy anyway and looked at the place. It's very small... but at least it's clean.

I'm really hoping our luck starts to change. Arielle and TJ need to both find a job. If we move to that condo, they will increase their chances tremendously in finding a job nearby. It's the feelings of uncertainty that seem to be taking a toll on me. I am losing the place we call "home". I sort of feel like I don't belong anywhere right now. It's that empty feeling inside... like I lost a puppy dog or something. I'm sure I'm just scared of the unknown. We will all make it through this, it just might take some time.

 

[Fran27]

Just be careful with condos, sometimes when you take into account the co-property maintenance fees, you could afford a house that costs $30,000 more...