Life is worth living.

Sweet72947

Squishy face
Joined
May 18, 2006
Messages
9,159
Likes
1
Points
38
Location
Northern Virginia
#1
I feel that some good thoughts and advice for living a happy life are needed on this forum.

1. Rid your life of toxic people. Toxic people drain your energy and replace it with darkness. Toxic people can range from outright verbally/emotionally/physically abusive to "friends" who tease you "in fun" even though its not fun to you. If they won't stop when you ask them, they are toxic people. Toxic people can be found at work, on the internet, anywhere you go. If you are a toxic person, change. I was on my way to being one without even realizing it, and my roommates have taught me how to interact with other people in a healthy way. I understand that you can't always rid yourself completely of toxic people if they happen to be family, but you can learn coping mechanisms. The "For Dummies" series has some very good self-help books out there. They are written by actual PhD's and have actual clinical advice contained within. You can control your interactions with toxic people instead of them controlling you. I keep my parents at arms-length because it is healthier for me.

2. Keep busy, get involved. Volunteer somewhere. Do things for others. Love the way you want to be loved. Give unselfishly without expecting anything in return. This will help you establish meaningful relationships with others. The reason gathering in Churches gives people a feeling of well-being isn't the religion, it is the feelings of togetherness. We are a social species. If you surround yourself with nothing, the nothing will take over within.

3. Take care of yourself. It is okay to say to people "I can't be there for you right now, I need to fix me." Go in a hole for a little while and lick your wounds. Let people back in slowly in small increments that you can handle.

4. Find the balance. Find a healthy balance between doing things for others and taking care of yourself. Meaningful relationships are important, but you can't reap the full benefits if you aren't keeping yourself healthy and sound.

5. Change the way you think. The way you think can influence your emotions. If you use words like "always" and "never" and "forever" you leave yourself no lee-way. "I will never feel better." is untrue because you can't know the future, but how many think like this? This is not a healthy way to think. Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking. I know that it is HARD to change your inner dialogue, especially for people with severe depression because it has become a very ingrained habit. Life has taught you to feel helpless. But you can control your inner dialogue if you work hard and train yourself. Use the power within yourself to create instead of destroy.

Yes, sometimes life SUCKS. Sometimes REALLY HORRIBLE, AWFUL and TRAGIC things happen beyond our control, but they don't have to define you. You can go beyond the tragedies in your life and write your own story. Those things are chapters in the book of your life. You can't un-write what is already written. Things have happened, they are done, and I have learned and grown from them. I am thankful for the people I know and the people I've had the privilege of knowing for a time. I am happy I have been allowed to know them and to be a part of their lives, and I wonder what awesome people I might meet in the future. We all have a purpose even if we don't know it, and no purpose is small. You never really know how you influence the people around you, and who's life you might touch.

I know I want to see what happens next, so turn the page and lets go! :)
 

Kat09Tails

*Now with Snark*
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
3,452
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
Upper Left hand corner, USA
#7
You forgot - for fark's sake if you're depressed day in day out for weeks on end to go see a doctor. Asking someone to just cheer up and change their outlook while they're clinically depressed is a little like asking someone to just walk off a broken leg.
 

Sweet72947

Squishy face
Joined
May 18, 2006
Messages
9,159
Likes
1
Points
38
Location
Northern Virginia
#9
You forgot - for fark's sake if you're depressed day in day out for weeks on end to go see a doctor. Asking someone to just cheer up and change their outlook while they're clinically depressed is a little like asking someone to just walk off a broken leg.
Indeed. I do urge people to seek help if you have a chronic issue. But this isn't meant to say "just cheer up". It took me a year to heal and get to the place I am now. It won't be an easy task and it won't be short. But it certainly can be done, and I simply outlined some ways to do it. :)
 

CharlieDog

Rude and Not Ginger
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
9,419
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
Georgia
#10
You forgot - for fark's sake if you're depressed day in day out for weeks on end to go see a doctor. Asking someone to just cheer up and change their outlook while they're clinically depressed is a little like asking someone to just walk off a broken leg.
I know I shouldn't, but having been there myself, I laughed at the analogy, and completely agree.
 

sillysally

Obey the Toad.
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
5,074
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
A hole in the bottom of the sea.
#11
Clinical depression (as well as other mental health issues) does need medical attention, but often the sort of self talk and reframing of thinking mentioned above is urged in addition to medication. I can't speak for anyone else, but mediation alone does not do it for me--the medication takes the edge off, the reframing of thoughts, learning boundaries, creating meaningful relationships, and self talk is a critical piece of the mental health puzzle.
 

tzigane

New Member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
335
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
32
Location
Greensboro, NC
#12
Clinical depression (as well as other mental health issues) does need medical attention, but often the sort of self talk and reframing of thinking mentioned above is urged in addition to medication. I can't speak for anyone else, but mediation alone does not do it for me--the medication takes the edge off, the reframing of thoughts, learning boundaries, creating meaningful relationships, and self talk is a critical piece of the mental health puzzle.
This.
 
Joined
May 19, 2012
Messages
921
Likes
0
Points
16
Location
No fixed abode.
#13
Indeed Sally, - and Excellent post Sweet72! great advice =)

If I could change my thinking and desires to be tuned to "I WANNA LIVE I LUUURRRVVVEEE BEING ALIVE!!!" - so much would be better. The problem is right now I'm just so burnt out, fed up, tired, and disenchanted with everything that I just wanna keel over.

Hope everyone else is doing well though and starts the New Year on the right foot =)
 

Dogdragoness

Happy Halloween!!
Joined
May 31, 2012
Messages
4,169
Likes
0
Points
36
Location
Gillett/Flower Mound TX
#14
I guess John millencamp said it really accurately when he said "life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone."

Life is sometimes exhausting ... As an ADHD person living in a non-ADHD world, it always feels as if I am pushing a huge bolder up a really steep hill.
 

Sweet72947

Squishy face
Joined
May 18, 2006
Messages
9,159
Likes
1
Points
38
Location
Northern Virginia
#15
I guess John millencamp said it really accurately when he said "life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone."

Life is sometimes exhausting ... As an ADHD person living in a non-ADHD world, it always feels as if I am pushing a huge bolder up a really steep hill.
((hugs))
Don't worry, you're not alone. I have a diagnoses of adult ADD and I often feel like I'm living in a world I don't understand. I understand dogs and feel a lot more at home with dogs than I do with people much of the time. There often seems to be this disconnect between me and the world. My friends had to learn how I am. They know now to ask if they want to hug me (touch sensitivities) and that I don't tend to express emotion well and that sometimes social cues elude me.

One thing to remember, we're all nuts. :D
 

El Alano

New Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2013
Messages
42
Likes
0
Points
0
#16
Awesome post! On the inner dialogue front, I find spending 5 minutes thinking/speaking to myself about all the awesomeness in my life (something as insignificant as an imminent good cup of coffee or a walk with the dogs) even before getting up in the morning gets my day off to an unbelievably brilliant start. It really has an uplifting effect. I also make sure that I get up with a physical smile on my face; this also has some very real knock-on effects.

The toxic people thing? Well, I haven't spoken to a single family member in over a decade and I'm enjoying the best mental health of my life. Some folk might say it's a bit dramatic but it was necessary.
 

Dogdragoness

Happy Halloween!!
Joined
May 31, 2012
Messages
4,169
Likes
0
Points
36
Location
Gillett/Flower Mound TX
#17
((hugs))
Don't worry, you're not alone. I have a diagnoses of adult ADD and I often feel like I'm living in a world I don't understand. I understand dogs and feel a lot more at home with dogs than I do with people much of the time. There often seems to be this disconnect between me and the world. My friends had to learn how I am. They know now to ask if they want to hug me (touch sensitivities) and that I don't tend to express emotion well and that sometimes social cues elude me.

One thing to remember, we're all nuts. :D
Yeah totally! Sometimes even Internet social cues elude me :/ I'm kind of like Dr. Brennan on the show "bones" (personality wise ... I wish I was as smart S she is :( ) she takes a very logical analitical approach to life.

OH is always on me for not being more social & not having more friends (he doesn't could online friends ) I guess so many years of being a social outcast just "trained " me to not crave social situation / interactions I guess.
 

Dogdragoness

Happy Halloween!!
Joined
May 31, 2012
Messages
4,169
Likes
0
Points
36
Location
Gillett/Flower Mound TX
#19
I do that too ... I like myself ... By that I mean I have come to terms with who I am & how I am ... The problem lies with how the WORLD & SOCIETY views me, in that aspect is what I meant by the bolder & the hill ... I try so hard to be socially gracious ... But every new/different social situation makes me feel like I am starting over with that bolder up the hill ... & sometimes I just don't feel like pushing it :(
 

~Dixie's_Mom~

♥Chloe & Violet♥
Joined
Aug 22, 2006
Messages
8,159
Likes
1
Points
0
Age
28
Location
Tennessee
#20
Just wanted to say that reading this made me feel really good, as I am going through some tough learning experiences in my life right now. Thanks :)
 

Members online

No members online now.
Top