Do you believe in spanking kids?

[yoko]

When said kid is 16 and at a party, and someone offers them a drink, do you want them to think "mom/dad/grandma/grandpa/whoever isn't here, so if i do it it doesn't matter because i won't get punished" or do you want them to think about the consequences. "What will happen if i drink this? My parents won't trust me, i might get hurt, i might embarrass myself, i might get in trouble with the law".

i was spanked when i was younger and it did not affect my thinking responsible at all. like i said never saw drugs until college still never touched them. didn't drink until college. and even then still have never been drunk.

"What will happen if i drink this? My parents won't trust me, i might get hurt, i might embarrass myself, i might get in trouble with the law"

and what keeds a kid that was spanked from thinking this way?

we're talking spanking right? not all out beating.

 

[milos_mommy]

I'm not saying if you spank you kid once, then it's going to change their entire thinking.

I'm talking spanking in lieu of other punishment/consequences. Like if every time your kid does something signifigantly "bad" you slap them, rather than use time-outs, removing something desirable, etc.

 

[milos_mommy]

I was in the supermarket a while ago and hear a mother "shelly... come here, please coem here. 1.... 2....3!... shelly please come back" WTF?? My mother got to 2 and I was doing as I was told!

Isn't that so unbelieveable?!?


My favorite is when a parent tells their kid to do something and the child goes "No."

EXCUSE ME?!?! You just said No to your MOTHER? Do you want to DIE?!?
haha, i don't even know what would happen if i said "No." to my parents. Probably just a slap across the face, but that was like, this big gigantic unbelieveable bad horrible offense when i was a kid. When i was little parents knew everything, they were ALWAYS right, you HAD to listen to them.

Now i hear kids correcting their parents and saying "No." to them all the time.

 

[tessa_s212]

I was "spanked". My mom thought it was just a spanking. She had the thought process that I HAVE to listen to her, no matter if she doesn't treat me right. She never understood that in order to be given respect, you must be the first to show it.

I personally don't like spanking much. I think there's better ways to go about things. I think it creates a horrible chance to take anger out on a child, rather than simply disciplining and teaching.

 

[Squishy22]

Yes, I believe in spanking and there is a BIG difference between a scolding (spanking) and all out abuse. I was smacked on the butt as a child when I was out of line and I'm fine. My daughter is a really sweet little girl and listens 99% of the time so I really don't feel the need to spank her when she does get fresh. This society is a little to "PC" over the top today and parents let their children get away with to much In stead of Johnny getting a spank on the behind when he acts out its....."Johnny honey, go take a time out and sit in your time out chair"

Then obviously sitting in a chair for time out is not working for johnny. So therefore you should resort to spanking just like that? I am sure there are other ways of correcting johnny that will affect him than just spankings. I was NEVER allowed to SIT in time out, by the way.

 

[Fran27]

It's funny because when you adopt they make you sign a paper saying you will never ever spank your child.

I think spanking is for parents who just don't have it in them to find other methods. And it's sad.

 

[Squishy22]

I think that's an unfair statement. I was spanked occassionally as a child, and I NEVER physically hurt other children. Neither did countless other children I know who were disciplined in that manner. I don't hate my parents, I don't have violence issues, I don't think hitting is ok. And neither do many of my fellow "spankees".

It always bothers me when I see any of those arguments made against spanking. It doesn't make sense. If you think about it, entire generations in this country were basically raised by spanking. They were certainly not all violent, problematic adults.

And there is a difference between spanking a dog and spanking a child. A dog doesn't speak the same language, have the same parent-child relationship, and doesn't even have the same thought processes or intelligence as a human. How can a dog possibly be expected to understand what's going on?

But a human child understands perfectly. "I did wrong, so they spanked me. But they still love me. I have nothing to fear."

I do think that time-outs and other forms of discipline do work. But I have no problems if a parent chooses to spank his or her child, as long as it's not done out of anger or is abusive.

I am not saying that 100% of children who get spanked ends up hitting other children. I am saying that it does happen, so why take the chance? I dont hate my parents or have violent issues either. I just seen hitting as a way to get my point across when someone would steal my toys. My parents did it to get their point across. Thats how I seen it.

So IF a dog did know why they were being hit and made the connection, then it would become ok to do it? I know dogs are different than humans. Humans are more advanced, but if a dog can learn quite well without physical pain, then why cant children? I believe they very well can. Parents just want a quick fix by just reaching over and striking their child.

I think many parents end up spanking out of anger, when they are at their wits end. I think this happens more than people like to think.

 

[noludoru]

I was "spanked". My mom thought it was just a spanking. She had the thought process that I HAVE to listen to her, no matter if she doesn't treat me right. She never understood that in order to be given respect, you must be the first to show it.

I personally don't like spanking much. I think there's better ways to go about things. I think it creates a horrible chance to take anger out on a child, rather than simply disciplining and teaching.

Just wanted to repeat that. Well said, Tessa.

 

[Purdue#1]

Hi Purdue. You sound just like my daughter....that is a compliment.

it warms the deepest recesses of my heart.

 

[Southpaw]

I think it's fine... not an all-out beating of course but a swat on the butt, no big deal.

My mom spanked me, and my 5 other siblings, and we all turned out okay. None of us ever thought it was okay to hit people-- my mom would NEVER stand for that. But a spanking certainly taught us real quick what we weren't allowed to do, and that we had better obey or there would be a consequence.

My nephew will be 2 years old in 3 months and he gets spanked. It hasn't effected him negatively... he knows to be gentle with the animals and he's very good with his 7 month old brother. And he knows that when you tell him no, it means no.

Are there other ways to discipline? Sure. But I don't think that means spanking your child is wrong. I know plenty of kids who could use a good swat, really.

 

[Jammies]

As in anything else, punishment should be fair and match the offense. I have known parents that took it too far and if they happened to be friends I had no problem telling them so. It just seems that today no one wants to take responsibility for their actions and feel anything they want to do is "their right." I was taught that with every right comes a responsibility. I heard someone tonight say that when they were kids the LAST thing you wanted was for an authority figure of any kind to call your parents because they knew they were going to face consequences at home....today they want them to call their parents because they know the parents in most cases are going to do NOTHING and will even come to the defense of their little darlings. It is so tiring hearing about how the latest victim of a shooting, drug deal gone bad, etc. was actually a choir boy the rest of the time. Yeah, right. In time past it took a mother and father to raise a child....now a whole village can't seem to get it done. I

 

[Purdue#1]

that's exactly what is happening right now jammies. The principals are not able to dicipline kids anymore because people view it as "abuse". Kids can now go and scream CHILD ABUSE! when they are diciplined now. when a kid gets in trouble he will lie to his parents about what happened and they will go to the principal about it ranting and raving when their kid is responsible!

Some kids needed their butt busted a long time ago, the first time they acted up.

 

[yoko]

that's exactly what is happening right now jammies. The principals are not able to dicipline kids anymore because people view it as "abuse". Kids can now go and scream CHILD ABUSE!

exactly.

 

[Squishy22]

that's exactly what is happening right now jammies. The principals are not able to dicipline kids anymore because people view it as "abuse". Kids can now go and scream CHILD ABUSE! when they are diciplined now. when a kid gets in trouble he will lie to his parents about what happened and they will go to the principal about it ranting and raving when their kid is responsible!

Some kids needed their butt busted a long time ago, the first time they acted up.

I dont consider spanking abuse if its done in the right way. I would never do it myself because I think there are better ways of correcting children, but I dont think its necessarily "abuse". If some parents believe in spanking, I dont have a problem with it because its their choice.

With that said, I absolutely do not believe in other people spanking YOUR children. They shouldnt have a right what so ever to lay their hands or paddle on someone else's kid. I never had spankings in my school and there were no problems. I would be pi$$ed if someone hit my child. COMPLETELY wrong in my mind.

 

[Buckshot]

How would you go about fixing this? A neighbor of mine has a foster child 4 year old boy who has terrible behaviour. His father tells the boy to not do the things that he is doing but the boy wont listen. The last time he came over the boy called Buckshot to him and then slapped Buckshot. I got after the boy and told his father that if he ever does that again you will never be allowed back here with the child. We went into the house and the kid went through every drawer in the place and the refrigerator. When I told him to stay out of my stuff he replied "Ill cut you to pieces" while he was eyeballing my kitchen knife holder. He said that three more times and I asked them to leave. Just recently I was down at the property line where the father and kid came out to say hi. I had Buckshot with me. As I was talking to the dad he stop talking every 20 seconds or so to correct the kid for throwing rocks. I kept an eye out at that point and, you guessed it he tried to hit Buckshot with one. He doesnt get time outs because he screams and they cant take it. If this was my kid, he would have been physically corrected. If he doesnt get a handle on this now and that kid ends up in school acting like he does, there will be plenty of kids there, who will be willing to show him physical discipline. The idea of having a child in a school with kids like this would scare me. This child will end up beaten, killed or in prison because they are neglecting to give him guidance. This is as bad as beating a child in my opinion.

 

[smkie]

i think there might be more then just a discipline problem there. ABuse? Mental Illness?

 

[Buckshot]

i think there might be more then just a discipline problem there. ABuse? Mental Illness?

He is a foster child so there is no telling what has happened to him prior.

 

[puppydog]

There is no need to inflict pain when physically correcting your child. A slap on the butt does not need to hurt. It is the concept that hurts the child. It should also stop when the child reaches their teens.

 

[smkie]

He is a foster child so there is no telling what has happened to him prior.

that explains a great deal right there.....
something is up. I would keep a sharp eye on that one.

 

[Zoom]

He is a foster child so there is no telling what has happened to him prior.

How old is he? He actually sounds A LOT like a former cousin of mine (that sounds so horrible). My cousins had adopted him knowing that he was going to have some sort of behavioral issues because his mother was on something when pregnant...he had several horrible outbursts, physical correction did nothing for him, so my cousin had to come up with ways to work out his energy without him hurting himself or others...it finally came to the heartbreaking decision to give him back to the state after he hit his kindergarten teacher in the head with a hammer and then tried to break his own leg when he was told how much trouble he was in. His little head just didn't quite process things right...I'm sad to say that unless the state was able to find someone to work with him and rehab him (and my cousins did everything in their power to raise him right) he has/had the immense potential to be a sociopath. Sweet guy most of the time, but if he did something wrong, he had problems understand why it was wrong.