Dear Bulldog . . .

[SisMorphine]

Posted at the request of Miakoda. Originally posted 1/29/08.

Dear Bulldog,

You're lucky you're cute . . . because the stunts you pulled in class tonight were not. When the trainer announced "And this is one of our trainers and her Alapaha" that was not your cue to jump up on the table, breaking said table, so that all papers on the table end up on the floor with a coke dumped on top of them.

After your mother sheepishly cleaned them up, dodging angry glares from her boss who's papers you just ruined and who's coke you just spilled, it was NOT the best idea to jump up on her and almost knock her backwards over the mop and bucket.

And when it was time to settle it was probably not the best idea to do your "fish out of water" impression (while all other dogs were lying down nicely) while making weird grumbly sounds and giving off crazy eyes while flashing your hoo-ha at everyone in the room.

Here's hoping you're better next week.

Sincerely,
Soon-to-possibly-be-former Bulldog Mom

 

[Zoom]

*dies* I"m seriously LOLing over here...don't you just love how they make us look bad at just the 'right' times??

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

LMAO too good.

 

[darkchild16]

SO SO true. UGH LOL bad memories LOL

 

[mrose_s]

lol

Dear Mac.
The first time we take you to flyball, as we walk you across the track to get the waiting area, please don't relieve yourself right in the laneway, it distracts the other dogs and is pretty embaressing for us.
Secondly, after this is cleaned up and we're watching the other dogs do their run, often getting distracted by the not so subtle scent you've left in their path, please do not urinate all over the cement. We had to use a bucket of water ment for drinking to wash that off.
And finally, what sort of dog can poo, pee and poo again in the space of 10 minutes? Atleast the third time you relieved yourself it was not in the laneway and not on the cement. It was only in the middle of everyone, right near the rest area. And we only had to use the instructors poop bag they got from France to pick it up.

So thankyou Mac, you have taught us to make sure you "go" before we go anywhere public, you have taught us to walk in the gate and around the laneway to the rest area and you have taught us to make sure we bring our own poo bags.
Your lucky youhave talent girl or else I can see the flyball team being less than pleased with you.

 

[CharlieDog]

Amen to both of those! Heres one about Oz.

Dear Oz,

You arent faster than the squirrels and cats, and I'm pretty sure that, no matter how hard you try, you can't climb that tree.

And I know, I know, the squirrel was taunting you by sitting just outside the backdoor, and it was my fault for not noticing it before I let you out to potty, but you can't jump through the chain link fence. Sorry. Your head, not to mention your gut, just isn't small enough.

And I'm really sorry for laughing at you when you ran into the car trailer after the cat. You should have realized you are taller than a cat, and that you have to slow down considerably before you can squeeze your butt under there. I did, however, appreciate the ashamed and embaressed look you sported after limping your way back in the house.

However, you did it again an hour later when I let you back out and the cat had come back. You can learn a new trick in half this time, but you can't learn to put on the brakes before the fence or the trailer? You make me laugh little dog.

Your highly amused owner.

 

[Renee750il]

LMAO . . . . . Sis, Teeny is SOOOOO getting ready to come in season again . . . . . Condolences

 

[noludoru]

Rofl!

 

[houndlove]

LMAO . . . . . Sis, Teeny is SOOOOO getting ready to come in season again . . . . . Condolences

That was my first thought! Unfortunately, when Marlowe pulls those kinds of stunts, he has no such excuse.

 

[SisMorphine]

LMAO . . . . . Sis, Teeny is SOOOOO getting ready to come in season again . . . . . Condolences

I was thinking back and she was acting like a freakshow for a good month or two before she actually came into heat. If that's true this time around then it means she's right on schedule!

So far no visual signs. But **** is she being needy! (Moreso than usual . . . which is WAY too much as it is!)

 

[milos_mommy]

Amen to both of those! Heres one about Oz.

Dear Oz,

You arent faster than the squirrels and cats, and I'm pretty sure that, no matter how hard you try, you can't climb that tree.

And I know, I know, the squirrel was taunting you by sitting just outside the backdoor, and it was my fault for not noticing it before I let you out to potty, but you can't jump through the chain link fence. Sorry. Your head, not to mention your gut, just isn't small enough.

And I'm really sorry for laughing at you when you ran into the car trailer after the cat. You should have realized you are taller than a cat, and that you have to slow down considerably before you can squeeze your butt under there. I did, however, appreciate the ashamed and embaressed look you sported after limping your way back in the house.

However, you did it again an hour later when I let you back out and the cat had come back. You can learn a new trick in half this time, but you can't learn to put on the brakes before the fence or the trailer? You make me laugh little dog.

Your highly amused owner.

i'm pretty sure Oz and Milo were seperated at birth.

 

[RD]

LMFAO. OMG Teeny!

That little slut-puppy act is so humiliating. Eve does it every chance she gets.

 

[CharlieDog]

Oh no! I was almost certain I had a freak dog. Now there are two of them?!?! Woe onto any squirrel or cats if they ever get to meet.

However, seeing two dogs try to jump through a fence at the same time would probably be too much, and Id bust my own gut laughing.

 

[milos_mommy]

Oh no! I was almost certain I had a freak dog. Now there are two of them?!?! Woe onto any squirrel or cats if they ever get to meet.

However, seeing two dogs try to jump through a fence at the same time would probably be too much, and Id bust my own gut laughing.

Milo's wonderful with cats! It's the squirrels/other things that need to watch themselves.

But yes, Milo also tends to be a klutz. For some reason he can't comprehend solid objects, and thinks running into walls/tables/fences/other things is perfectly safe.

 

[CharlieDog]

Tell me about it. It only to Oz a few times to learn, but for the first week or so we had him he would try to jump throught the french glass doors. It was always funny, and he had to try in from both ways and on both sides just to make sure. Ozzy is good with our cat, and any cat as long as they dont run. However, its our fault that he chases some of them outside, because our cat (just like our dog most of the time) comes and goes as he pleases. We open the back door (the backyard is completely fenced) and out they go.

But, when Oz was probably seven or eight months old, a neighbors cat started coming over and beating our cat up and eating his food (our cat was neutered at twelve weeks, he has no interest in roming or fighting) and the other cat would just growl at us and spit, so we started letting Ozzy out, and Oz would chase him out of the backyard.

Which is self rewarding, and so even though its been months since that cat came around, Oz still tears out the back door sometimes, and especially after strange cats in the yard, even if they are friendly.

 

[Renee750il]

You know that Windex commercial where the magpie keeps flying into the glass? That's Kharma. Only when she hits a window, the window loses . . . .

On the bright side; I doubt I'll be having anymore prowlers in my backyard . . .

 

[StevePax]

Heh, in puppy class one week, Leo peed while learning to "heel." The next week, just to top himself, he squatted and pooped right on the cement floor of the basement of the class instructor. I was completely embarrassed.

 

[misticaleclipse]

:lol-sign:

 

[PWCorgi]

You know that Windex commercial where the magpie keeps flying into the glass? That's Kharma. Only when she hits a window, the window loses . . . .

That *so* sounds like a Chuck Norris type joke

 

[Renee750il]

That *so* sounds like a Chuck Norris type joke

LMAO! I'd be willing to bet that the creep she was after would way rather she have BEEN Chuck Norris