Oh Zoe08 I am here for you!!! I have had a friend this last year thats had 2 miscarriages. It is a very hard thing. I am very hopeful for you and yours... hugs!! But if you ever need to talk you can PM me. I have never been there so I cannot imagine. I understand if your not up to coming around to Chaz for awhile, I don't think I would be either. Things will get easier. I don't know you much but from what I have seen I have a feeling you would make a wonderful mother and same to you M&M's mommy and hugs to you too! I don't understand some things and this is one of them.
Again
- Thread starter zoe08
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I am so sorry for both of you that you are going through this again. I haven't had a m/c but it took me 2 years to get pregnant and I felt the same way about people all around me who weren't even trying that were getting pregnant, and people who didn't want to be pregnant anymore. Some of my friends just took it for granted that they got pregnant so easily without even trying. I know that people saying at least you can get pregnant seems so insensitive, but it is true that getting pregnant is half the battle for a lot of people. Staying pregnant is the other half. I hope that you both get some answers very soon and do not have to go through this ever again.
I hope for the best possible outcome and for some sort of answers for both of you.
I hope for the best possible outcome and for some sort of answers for both of you.
People do have a right to say whatever they want on this board. Carrying that wieght in front of you, dealing with the complications that come with pregnancy and the general discomfort are not fun.
Saying people should not complain is a little irrational.
I am sorry for what you are going through, it is HORRIBLE. But understand that if you don't want to see the threads, don't look.
Saying people should not complain is a little irrational.
I am sorry for what you are going through, it is HORRIBLE. But understand that if you don't want to see the threads, don't look.
Will miss you.You know guys, telling her she doesn't have to look and people have right to complain doesn't really help.
Unless you've dealt with infertility (although some people seem to forget about it once they have their baby), you can't know how hard it is to see people complain when you'd love to be in their shoes.
If you don't know what to say, just say you're sorry that she's having such a hard time with it and just drop it. We obviously want people to keep posting and venting here, but if it makes someone uncomfortable, it's their right, too. No need to dismiss her feelings.
Unless you've dealt with infertility (although some people seem to forget about it once they have their baby), you can't know how hard it is to see people complain when you'd love to be in their shoes.
If you don't know what to say, just say you're sorry that she's having such a hard time with it and just drop it. We obviously want people to keep posting and venting here, but if it makes someone uncomfortable, it's their right, too. No need to dismiss her feelings.
THis is Pam, but I don't feel like changing names on fiance's computer
She never said that. She said it was hard for her to read and I agree. She said she might take a break. She didn't request that no one talk or complain about their pregnancies--only that it is difficult for someone going through 2 miscarriages in less than 2 months to read about people wishing their pregnancy was over. I completely agree with her and understand. I do not wish anyone to stop talking about their pregnancy, but it does hurt a little to read. I think you have a completely insensitive attitude and it shouldn't be brought into this thread--or the arguing from anyone else either. Just wish her luck, tell her you're sorry, and move on. If you have no idea how devastating miscarriage is, please don't take it lightly (for everyone--not just this poster)
She never said that. She said it was hard for her to read and I agree. She said she might take a break. She didn't request that no one talk or complain about their pregnancies--only that it is difficult for someone going through 2 miscarriages in less than 2 months to read about people wishing their pregnancy was over. I completely agree with her and understand. I do not wish anyone to stop talking about their pregnancy, but it does hurt a little to read. I think you have a completely insensitive attitude and it shouldn't be brought into this thread--or the arguing from anyone else either. Just wish her luck, tell her you're sorry, and move on. If you have no idea how devastating miscarriage is, please don't take it lightly (for everyone--not just this poster)
Thank you Fran and Pam for understanding and trying to explain. Some people will never understand, and I pray that they don't ever have to and they can go on thinking the way they do about pregnancy and when they have babies, that everything will work out the way they hope.
Most of the comments here have made me feel worse, than actually helping. Which is why I probably think it is better for me to take a break for a while. I will check in for PMs and such so if you want to talk to me you can send me a PM or ask for my e-mail.
Most of the comments here have made me feel worse, than actually helping. Which is why I probably think it is better for me to take a break for a while. I will check in for PMs and such so if you want to talk to me you can send me a PM or ask for my e-mail.
For those who are having problems getting and staying pregnant:
Tell those around you if you don't want to hear about their pregnancy (nicely) I had two very close friends. One had so much scar tissue from a horrible attack that she had a horrible time trying to carry. She mourned each mc the same way many people would 1 year old child (which is totally fine, that was how strong her desire was to keep the baby and her connection to it) She was NOT ok with talk of others child bearing/birthing stories. But she told us that so we talked of other things unless she asked. On the other hand my other friend had many (5) mc but was still very enthused about other people's pregnancy and deliveries.
People are not going to know unless you tell them.
(interestingly enough it was my second friend who just kept 'enjoying' her husband without too much effort who ended up with two boys. Don't know if there is a correlation or not)
Tell those around you if you don't want to hear about their pregnancy (nicely) I had two very close friends. One had so much scar tissue from a horrible attack that she had a horrible time trying to carry. She mourned each mc the same way many people would 1 year old child (which is totally fine, that was how strong her desire was to keep the baby and her connection to it) She was NOT ok with talk of others child bearing/birthing stories. But she told us that so we talked of other things unless she asked. On the other hand my other friend had many (5) mc but was still very enthused about other people's pregnancy and deliveries.
People are not going to know unless you tell them.
(interestingly enough it was my second friend who just kept 'enjoying' her husband without too much effort who ended up with two boys. Don't know if there is a correlation or not)
Well I complain bu only to my husband and a few close family members/friends cause I read in a pregnancy magazine not to go on and on about the baby/pregnancy all the time to co workers and acquaintences cause you never know who is battling infertility since its a private matter for many people. At first I found that advice odd but now I really respect it cause I dont know if one of my co workers has been trying for years and has to hear me complain about my swelling feet daily or my nursery etc.
Especially the complaining. I try not to complain too much even to my hubby cause I wanted this and I dont want to be one of those pregnant women who has to make everyone listen to how miserable she is and who makes pregnancy seem awful. Granted my pregnancy has been a breeze and I honestly dont have many complaints other than minor discomfort but being pregnant isnt that bad.
So I think its ok to talk about being pregnant but limit it to "big" news that will interest people so you dont bore anyone and so people struggling in that area dont see pregnancy threads everytime they turn around.
Especially the complaining. I try not to complain too much even to my hubby cause I wanted this and I dont want to be one of those pregnant women who has to make everyone listen to how miserable she is and who makes pregnancy seem awful. Granted my pregnancy has been a breeze and I honestly dont have many complaints other than minor discomfort but being pregnant isnt that bad.
So I think its ok to talk about being pregnant but limit it to "big" news that will interest people so you dont bore anyone and so people struggling in that area dont see pregnancy threads everytime they turn around.