Abuse of the pm system
- Thread starter Gallien Jacks
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What has this forum turned into I have been on for almost two years and it was never all this crap now people are just getting carried away I don't even like to sign on anymore because of all of the negativity
People have to remember that this is a forum everyone has their own opinion on things and just because you don't agree with them does not give someone else the right to bash and harass them
People have to remember that this is a forum everyone has their own opinion on things and just because you don't agree with them does not give someone else the right to bash and harass them
we've always said that with so many members there is bound to be conflict of sorts. that's ok....different people, different opinions are a great thing. 
seems a couple folks really do need to get a real life, but I guess you always have those on the internet. people who feel secure behind the screen...powerful...and obviously they think they are above the normal masses. sooooooooo, you just ignore them...and go on. they have their own little problems, but the forum is filled with really wonderful people to connect with. I always enjoy it here. (and yes, I've received THOSE pm's...so what..and pooh to them!)
seems a couple folks really do need to get a real life, but I guess you always have those on the internet. people who feel secure behind the screen...powerful...and obviously they think they are above the normal masses. sooooooooo, you just ignore them...and go on. they have their own little problems, but the forum is filled with really wonderful people to connect with. I always enjoy it here. (and yes, I've received THOSE pm's...so what..and pooh to them!) I think the most i've used the Private Message system here is to make complaints to Mods. I've also had one conversation over a disagreement on a board... but it went well.
I tend to be careful on how i word most things I post here both in private and public because of my experience being a mod on a chat for 5 years that I once belonged to. My experience has been people DO respond to respectful, polite tones... so I try to use them. When I do go off... it's generally a once in a while thing.
I tend to be careful on how i word most things I post here both in private and public because of my experience being a mod on a chat for 5 years that I once belonged to. My experience has been people DO respond to respectful, polite tones... so I try to use them. When I do go off... it's generally a once in a while thing.
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The only problem I've ever had with PMs here is a certain member who would post one thing on the forum, and then PM me with something vastly different. For instance, she would "attack" me on the forum, and then PM me an apology, but never really make the apology public, LOL, or she would ridicule something I said on the forum and then PM me to say she actually understood what I was saying. Frankly it drove me nuts because it was like dealing with a split personality, LOL! And I didn't want to post the things she PM'd to me, as my thought is they were private, but it was mildly annoying to be publicly lambasted and privately apologized to, LOL! Ah well...that individual is gone now, and those PMs have thankfully stopped.
R
MyBestFriendIsADog said:
The only problem I've ever had with PMs here is a certain member who would post one thing on the forum, and then PM me with something vastly different. For instance, she would "attack" me on the forum, and then PM me an apology, but never really make the apology public, LOL, or she would ridicule something I said on the forum and then PM me to say she actually understood what I was saying. Frankly it drove me nuts because it was like dealing with a split personality, LOL! And I didn't want to post the things she PM'd to me, as my thought is they were private, but it was mildly annoying to be publicly lambasted and privately apologized to, LOL! Ah well...that individual is gone now, and those PMs have thankfully stopped.
I had a member do a similar thing to me. I was in a debate that was getting very heated, and some members were getting pretty rude. Well, the majority of the members were against my thoughts. I was PMed by a member who was being quite rude in the debate, she was against what I was saying, and then she PMs me telling me that she completely agrees with me!
I guess she was too afraid to agree with me on the public forum, because she was afraid of being bashed.
Being on the world wide web and in a forum, it's to be expected, esp. with so many members being from so many backgrounds. The mod's can only do so much, they have so much reading to do. The pm's are private, therefore, as stated above, just put them on ignore, and send a mod a message of what happened. When there are soooo many people here, it's a huge diverse world out there, and not everyone is going to love you or your advice.
Take it with a grain of salt, and let it go...Good luck and take care!
Take it with a grain of salt, and let it go...Good luck and take care!
Ive never really had a prob with pm's Ive only gotten 20 or so, but then they were usually just advice questions and such, however Ive only been on the board 6 months or so.
But as far as the issue goes with what should be allowed on pm and what shouldnt, I say just keep it reasonable. If someone is just disagreeing or has a different opinion about an issue, take it as you will, but be polite about it.
As for straight out bashing or hateful stuff, it says in the rules that you arent allowed to do so and a reasonable person should know that.
But as far as the issue goes with what should be allowed on pm and what shouldnt, I say just keep it reasonable. If someone is just disagreeing or has a different opinion about an issue, take it as you will, but be polite about it.
As for straight out bashing or hateful stuff, it says in the rules that you arent allowed to do so and a reasonable person should know that.
Well think about what you would rather want. Would you rather they PM you privately to tell you how they dislike you or would you rather they make a thread about it so EVERYONE can see it? YOu can't have it both ways. Not everyone is going to like everyone and if they feel the need to "bash" someone than just hope that its in private and not out for everyone to see. You can't really censor PM's.
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I think that if someone dislikes you or has mean and nasty thoughts, they should keep it to themselves, as a matter of maturity. Attacking someone public or privately about their beliefs, practices, knowledge or lack there of, is rude. Think all the nasty things you want. The only thing accomplished by sharing nasty thoughts is hurting someone's feelings or making them angry. Sounds kinda like the bully on the playground to me.
This is a teaching/learning forum. At least it is to me. We shouldn't attack those seeking knowledge.
This is a teaching/learning forum. At least it is to me. We shouldn't attack those seeking knowledge.
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If you're flaming eachother back and forth, then PM yourself till your fingers fall off. What I'm talking about and have personally seen is when someone is just hateful and mean to someone who hasn't done anything but ask a question. And I mean, downright nasty. I'm talking about attacking someone who hasn't attacked anyone else. Maybe they're lacking in a little knowledge. Maybe they should have made better choices, but that's no reason to be like that. That's what I'm getting at. Flame WARS belong in PM. Unwarranted flames that are just written for the purpose of hurting someone's feelings shouldn't be written at all, but if someone did it to me, I would want the whole world to see it. So they could say, man, what a terrible mean person.