Dropped Zander off at the vet already. Mildly freaking. In a way, it's like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders, just not dealing with his skittish behavior, his anxiety, or my anxiety, but at the same time it's like too much weight is gone, and I feel like I'm going to fly away. Like nothing is keeping me grounded.
He took it well enough, walked into the kennel with no issues and was happy to sniff around. It was very... anti-climatic. I put him in and the tech just said, "Okay, call us at 4 and we'll let you know what's up at that time." End. I had a hard time walking away.
On top of that, there's some other personal issues that are making me feel uprooted and free-floating, but oddly enough...I don't exactly mind that. Right now, I'm more concerned about Zander and being happy to just chill with me and myself. I'm not entirely sure what it means, and I'm actually a bit upset I'm not...more upset. It's odd.
It's like I know I don't want ___. But I don't know how to tell anyone that I don't want it. I don't know how to say it, and then just deal with the fact that people are going to be upset and wanting to know what I really want.. But I still don't know what it is that I want. It's like, "I don't want apples." So what do you want? "I DON'T KNOW."
Confusion, confusion. Stress. Anxiety. I'm going to have to really get myself out and occupied today.
Also my headphones are missing. And I want to listen to music and videos and stuff.