Do you threaten your dog?

Inspired by... Well, they'll remain nameless unless they want to out themselves lol, but a chazzers blog

I was reading and laughing and laughing at a particular blog about being frustrated with your dog, who's either being a jerk or just ignoring you.

We've allllll been there. But I realized that for the most part, in public, I just mutter threats under my breath, because I don't want to be the crazy lady having a meltdown on her dog

But they get sweared/threatened at pretty frequently lol. Ozzy and Enzo both get told with some regularity that they suck and nobody likes them.

Knox and Ozzy both answer to "HEY A$$HOLE!"

And I also realized Indy won't "get in the truck" but she will "GET IN THE D@MN TRUCK" or the effing truck. Whichever.

I regularly tell Knox if he doesn't cut it out I'm going to neuter him myself, ect.

I threaten to make my dogs into various baked goods on a regular basis.

Mammoth is nicknamed "armpit dog" and you will often hear "Get your $*#(ing head out of my armpit!"

Also, the group dismissal for the curs (not my decision but since they respond to it I use it) is "F--- ALL OF YOU" complete with dropping/throwing whatever you have in your hands.

All the time.

"I will stab you if you don't shut up."

I'd never stab her.

Ahahaha I love the understated-ness of this.

All. The. Time.


Mostly directed at Rage, Daisy can do no wrong and the others just try really hard not to.

Ooooh yeah, all the time. LOL. "Macky, I will rip off your ears and put them up your butt!!!" LOL Neither of my girls are bothered by/pay ANY attention to me yelling, although typically I use a very sweet tone of voice. At work, when I'm at my wits end with a dog, I just smile and murmur something to them about a horrible demise while I calmly walk them to a crate. "Zorro, I'm going to swing you around by your ear hair and then Falcon punch you, ok buddy?" :rofl1: What can I say, it helps me to not actually do anything mean to them.

I laughed so hard at that. I tell mine to F--- OFF all the time. They usually just walk out of the room and look at me from the threshold.


Usually Ozzy gets something along those lines. He's really the only one who will BARK BARK BARK BARK ALL THE TIME. I tell him I'm going to debark him with a spoon on the regular. I think if anyone heard me talk to him they'd try to take him away from us.

In the sweetest voice possible right? I used to have a coworker at the daycare who would tell dogs she was going to eat their souls. :rofl1: just as sweetly as you please, lol, but she'd be saying the most horrible things about them and their owners, their mothers, ect

All the time.

She doesn't listen to "shut up". She listens to "Shut the *** up right now". She mainly gets threatened that i'm gonna drive her to the country and leave her there She's really a good dog though, so it's not too often.

The ferrets, on the other hand, most things out of my mouth to them are threats Except Harley. Harley can do no bad. Renegade answers to "Where's my asshole?" Ren and Ella get told they'd make a wonderful matching pair of socks.

Always!

My cat has a bad habit of getting into... everything, and I once I yelled, "GUS! I'm going to kill you with a hammer!!!" And that became a loved phrase at my house.

I periodically threaten to turn Shippo into a fancy shag rug. XD

Pound. All the time. "I'm taking you ALL to the pound today!"

For obnoxious behavior, tail chasing, chewing etc:

"Wai! mo choi gau la!, ng hai ngoh zhau tong nei la buun!" - Cantonese for:

"Hey! cut that out or else I'm stabbing you stupid!".

Release word:

"Dak la, lan hoi ah" (Ok, f*ck off.)

and in english it's just "F*ck off" LOL

Quiet:

"Tung ngoh sau seng!" (Shut up right now)

General frustrations:

"Nei chi gau fat ga!" (you're a nutcase)

"Sey deen gau!" (lit: Dead crazy dog)

"AIYA!!" (usually apon discovery of something soiled, destroyed, or stolen)

"Wanna go to SPCA?"

All used lovingly...most of the time.

Allllll the time. Especially to Wesley, I'm like "If you don't chill the F out I will kick your little blue butt to the moon".

"Cut the **** or I'm putting you on Craigslist".

I don't have many threats, but I am big on the insults. Nico's usual nickname is Captain Douche bag. Saga gets Dumb Black dog to Nico's Dumb Brown dog.

all the time. The kid too. My threats are silly though. I threaten hugs and kisses. Must be scary things because they all knock it off.

Yup I am terrible for it. Usually something about beating them to death if they don't do what they're told right away.

The horses are insulted the worst lol. I always tell them how I'm going to send them to the butchers, turn them into kebabs etc. Usually that's said in a very sweet voice as I try to catch them.

LOL that's amazing.

This thread is so funny... when my dogs, or dogs at work, are REALLY pushing me I say quietly through my teeth "don't you DARE f**k me." I got it from an episode of South Park, I think Colonel Sanders says it to Cartman? I give them this look and say it and I swear to God it works with every dog. I said it to a Dane who was in the middle of trying to rip my face off and it stopped her in her tracks. My dogs settle right down when I say it, but they kind of roll their eyes at me too.

I tell Chase I'm going to beat him with a stick. I tell the cats that I'm going to drop them in the ocean.

Lol, I do, but I wouldn't say a lot. When it's just Jackson and I, I don't have a lot to be mad at him for. But I do have a lot of nicknames for him, I'll call him a dork, or a loser, or a crackhead.

But at my dads house, I'm constantly shouting threats at the dogs. "OMG I'm going to rip your vocal chords out NOW if you don't STOP!' My dad probably says once a day "I HATE dogs." And then the next minute, he's on the floor baby talking them.