I think as far as a background check on a SO or potential SOs are concerned, my feeling is that I would be more interested in what they're doing now...how they conduct themselves, how they treat me and other people, what activities they're engaged in, who their friends are etc. There's still a chance that one will be shocked at some point that maybe the person they're married to had another life, has 4 other wives, was a serial killer on the run. But if you're that paranoid, you probably should not date. LOL.
As far as a pre-nup, I don't think that's a bad idea. It IS a partnership, not just one of lollipops and rainbows, but also a business deal in a way... and let's face it...partnerships dissolve. I think the aproximate statistic is 60% of marraiges fail. With all the good intentions and resolve most people have when they go into a marraige, I think it's a mistake not to be at least a little pragmatic about it, while still maintaining a positive attitude and everything else. The fact is, IF the marraige breaks up and one party brought into it a lot of assets and the other didn't, then it doesn't quite seem fair that it should be divided equally, as it is in most states. I think what was contributed while married AND pre-marraige assets and who acquires what should be spelled out. It would eliminate a lot of bittterness, should the marraige wind up dissolving at some point. When you get married, you sign a contract regarding certain things. Why is it so horrifying to imagine another provision to the contract? No, nobody wants to think that their marraige might not last. But you can't ignore statistics.
That said, I never had either...no background check and no pre-nup.
As far as a pre-nup, I don't think that's a bad idea. It IS a partnership, not just one of lollipops and rainbows, but also a business deal in a way... and let's face it...partnerships dissolve. I think the aproximate statistic is 60% of marraiges fail. With all the good intentions and resolve most people have when they go into a marraige, I think it's a mistake not to be at least a little pragmatic about it, while still maintaining a positive attitude and everything else. The fact is, IF the marraige breaks up and one party brought into it a lot of assets and the other didn't, then it doesn't quite seem fair that it should be divided equally, as it is in most states. I think what was contributed while married AND pre-marraige assets and who acquires what should be spelled out. It would eliminate a lot of bittterness, should the marraige wind up dissolving at some point. When you get married, you sign a contract regarding certain things. Why is it so horrifying to imagine another provision to the contract? No, nobody wants to think that their marraige might not last. But you can't ignore statistics.
That said, I never had either...no background check and no pre-nup.