soap in the mouth

To hear all this "I was NEVER punished as a child" honestly scares me,

exactly anyone want to come explain why bev is in trouble be my guest.

getting away with misbehaving huh?!

im one of those NEVER punished kids...
but i wasnt NEVER punished because my parents let me get away with being naughty...
i was never punished because i was genuinly a good child...
they never NEEDED to punish me.

all my mum or dad would ever have to do was sit me down, look directly at me and in a firm slow voice tell me to stop, or explain why i shoudlnt do anything and that was ALL i needed, whatever it was i got talked to for i would stop IMEDIATLY.
i never needed a spaking, i never needed my mouth washed out with soap, i never needed time outs or privledges removed, i played quietly, i enjoyed life, i got dirty and had fun, but when my parents told me to do something, i did it...
they never once had to PROVE them ment it because i knew it just form the tone of their voice...they never needed to show me what would happen if i didnt stop, they never felt a need to "prove" their power because i never gave them a reason to.

assuming a child wasnt punished simply because their parents were pushovers and let them get away with being nauthty is a rather large generalization, based on an assumption, that in this thread particularly was directed at a slect group of people.

and ill say it again...
i was NEVER punished, they never needed to, and to this day ive never smoked, done drugs, drank without their knowlege and permission, drank to exces, stolen, cheated, been in trouble with the cops, heck i dont even go more than 7mph above the speed limit!
i was a very good child...
both my siblings were raised the exact same was and are also geniunly good kids...

i do agree that kids need to learn respect...
i have no problem with people spanking for good reason (a licking with a belt for taking a cookie is excessive, but your kid runs towards the road after being told no, thats fine) i have no problme with time outs, loss of privledge ect...
i feel that a parent should do what they need to to teach their child RESPECT...but teaching them FEAR is another thing completly...if your going to spank a child for running out into the road, thats fine, but if there old enough to understand you should also explain WHY they got in trouble...

my parents didnt have to use any kind of physical punishment (be it spanking or privledge) to earn our respect as kids, even to this day, we are FRIENDS and have great relationships with our parents but they are also still PARENTS.

just because you dont feel their methods would work for you does NOT mean that we were naughty children who got away with everything simply becasue we "wernt punished", it simply means that in our cases, our parents never NEEDED to punish.

I think there is a greater sense of entitlement present in our generations, due in part to the "buddy" style of parenting. Too many people expect to be their kids' "buddy" instead of parent and won't do anything that might change that relationship. They're not doing anyone any favors. After your kid is grown up a bit and not a d-bag, THEN you can work on being buddy-buddy. My mother and I are now good friends, but we weren't when I was growing up. But she was being my mom, not my buddy.

I was spanked a couple of times as a kid and besides the times when I was too young to understand an explanation of WHY it was a bad idea for me to go walking down to Dairy Queen and cross the street on my own at the age of 3 (but that spanking drove home the fact that I wasn't to leave the yard without one of my parents), we were told why we were getting punished. I think it was less than 5 times in my entire life, because soon afterwards, removing privileges became more effective.

Thats kinda the whole point, for some kids it works for for some it doesn't. I am not a fan of spanking (a swat for something uber serious maybe in the heat of the moment sort of thing) I don't think kids should ever learn its ok to hit those you love, or that using violence is how we solve things. But I have friends who spank their kinds (very rarely) and I don't say anything, they know my position on it.

Now if the spanked all the time, or for every little misdemeanour.... well then I would have an issue.

Same here I dont like spanking but in the grand scheme of things I think one spanking (being one swat on the diaper that ended up being freshly filled with pee anyway) keeping her from the road then I will do it but for everything heck no. And im sorry but there is NO explaining to a 13/16 mth old that roads are bad.

:hail::hail::hail::hail:
Same here. Great post



My mom WAS my buddy growing up. I went to her for everything. She was president of my PTA, and she was the secretary to the principal in my junior high.

I was smart, always got A's, was never forced to study. Got 1250 on my SAT's. Moved out at 18, yeah it ended up being a bad relationship, but that wasn't her fault.

I go to dinner at my parents at least twice a week. My parents ARE my best friends.

I honestly don't think I'd want to be raised any different.

it shouldn't be done in an especially forceful manner or while frustrated and angry.

Do you want a medal for "Best Child Ever"? You seriously mean that your mother never imposed rules, made you mad because you had to stay home to mow the lawn instead of going out to the movies for the 8th time that week? I imagine your parents were still PARENTS and weren't "oh, hey, buddy-child, yeah go do whatever the fsck you want, it's cool, 'cause we're buddies. Oh, no curfew for you, yeah it's totally awesome if you have your friends over for a kegger, because I'm your cool buddy like that".

i think this applies to every. Single. Form. Of punishment., whether it be spanking, time outs, taking away things/privledges, etc.

I'm not reading all the post, only because I just don't have time. I will say this...I don't believe in hitting, yelling, soap, or any other kind of excessive parenting. I know..you can't imagine that given my bitchy status here. but my kids are quite different. NOR was I their BUDDY. it is a different thought I have where you are the absolute one in control..by verbal communication. NO..not yelling. I would never..ever.. hurt my child's feelings...and I'm sorry some may think that is not proper parenting. or tough enough parenting. from the time my kids were two, it was enough to just say 'no'. they 'got' no...by the mere sound of my voice. not yelling it...just saying it direct (which was different from our play) for goodness sakes, I shudder to think anyone has to ever smack or spank or in any way hit a child for parenting. that just isn't so at all. I think a child is a true gift, and if you can't control yourself beyond teaching in parenting..don't have them. they aren't there to be hit or yelled at. again..think that's insane, then you have no clue how to parent.