My bf left me

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#1
Something happened,I don't know how it escalatd first we were talking about needing needing space,then he said he didn't love me the same way he used to,that he is unhappy that im unhappy.I cant breath,i needed to tell someone but i cant say it.ive had thrre panic attacks since 11pm.I want to throw up.I had to hide all the scissors.I cant see the future and im scared.i feel sick,i need not to let this happen,iknew i shld never open you up to someone like that.I can't even be angry,he is being so nice,I can't even scream at him,smash his stuff and tell him to leave.I didn't know what to do,I managed to fall asleep it lasted an hour.I woke up and started crying again,so I wrote to you guys.God this is so stupid,but I can't speak to family or friends,then they'll know I'm crazy.
Coco is going to miss him :( that hurts so much,she looks so confused with me right now.
 
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#3
Thanks. I don't know if any if that made sense but I needed to get it out.It's nearly 6am I need to sleep.
 
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#5
Thanks What can I say to the doctor to get some help?I feel like there are rocks in my lungs,he us scared to leave me alone. I'm not going to do anything stupid but I can't do this.
 

Whisper

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#8
I'm so sorry, hon. (((((HUGS))))) I know it really hurts right now, but you will be 100% okay without him, even if you can't see it now. Cuddle with Coco and take things one step at a time.
 

Zoom

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#10
It's ok to not want to scream and smash his stuff. IME, that's the mark of an immature person. You can be p*ssed/mad at him all you want and spend the next two weeks getting p*ssed on scrumpty if it helps. Maybe all you guys need is a break, both do a lot of thinking and see what happens from there.

I've been in that spot, where one party is so unhappy that it's just effecting everything. It sucks, but it's a learning process too. What do you want out of life, for real? Not just your bf, but long term? What would have in a mate/partner/lover if you could build them from scratch? Obviously you're not going to get 100% of the list, but hopefully you should be with someone who fits the most important parts/most of the list.

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
 
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#11
Thank you.I will try and think about that later.I just don't feel like coping,I've been with him since I was 17, I thought we were working stuff out.I must be blind.as nd now it's too late because I can't fix things, he never told me he was unhappy....I was the one who talked,and tried to fice things. I thought he was going to be the father of my children,we had names.he said "it's not me it's u" fml
 
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#12
If he doesn't love you, and can treat you like this, he isnt worth it.

Doesnt sound like you care right now, but obviously he is an idiot......You deserve better, you deserve someone who loves you and who will treat you right, not just get up and leave without explaination.

It will take a long long time, but you need your friends, family and your dog right now, and it will all work out. I promise. xx
 

em&ollie

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#13
I've been in exactly this position before. We were together from a young age, for many years and we had discussed in extensive detail our future children and plans etc. One day suddenly it was "I don't love you anymore," except by text. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through, not going to lie. Just a warning, about 3 months after the event he wanted to start hooking up again. Of course I took this as a fantastic sign, once we're back in that setting he'll remember how much he loves me! But he knew how I felt and his thoughts hadn't changed, he was just using me. It made things so much harder for me, and it did nothing for what little dignity I had left. I don't have much advice to offer sorry because for me it just took time, but I just wanted to warn you about what happened to me. I know nothing makes sense at all, I know it feels like you can't breathe or even that you're too scared to take your next breath, like your whole world is crashing down around you. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. But through it all you will find yourself, and you will find something (whether it be your friends, pets, a hobby, anything) that you can hold on to that will help you through this. Good luck with everything.
 

ACooper

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#15
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) and ((((((((((((((((((MOREHUGS))))))))))))))))))))

Most all of us have been there sweetie, it sucks, it hurts, you heal, and you end up finding someone who treats you the way your supposed to be treated.

I found mine when I stopped looking ;)
 

skittledoo

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#16
Lots and lots of (((hugs))). I've definitely been there... The guy came back a few months later and I took him back against my gut feeling. That relationship ended badly twice and I learned a lot from that experience. I didn't think I would ever be able to move on... Literally felt ripped in two. It took time. It took a lot of time, but each day apart from that person begins to get a little easier day by day. It's hard to hear it now I'm sure, but you really will be ok without him in time.

Eta: are there any hobbies you can involve yourself in that might help you get your mind off your breakup?
 

~Dixie's_Mom~

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#17
((((((hug))))))) I am so, so sorry...:( I really hope you are okay. Everything will get better, and it will all work out for the best. When someone says that it sounds cliche or stupid, but it's true, because everything happens for a reason. You may not see it yet, but it will work out somehow, even of its not how you planned. I know how that feels, and you're thinking it will never be okay, because it's not just the person you lost, but the whole future you thought you had ahead of you, and now nothing makes sense, but it will, in time, I promise. If you need to talk, you can pm me. :)
 

Beanie

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#18
I'm really sorry hon. =< Just take it one breath at a time, one day at a time. The pain is unreal right now but it will get better... (((((HUGE HUGS)))))
 

CaliTerp07

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#19
One day at a time, just like Beanie said. Snuggle Coco, stay busy with other things, take care of yourself. You'll get through it :( It sucks, but this is the worst of it.

(((hugs)))
 

Doberluv

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#20
I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly right now. I second hobbies. Increase your hobbies. Most people have gone through something similar and while it hurts like hell for a while, we manage to make it out the other side eventually. And sometimes even stronger. I know I did after a painful break up a few years back. If you can make yourself stronger somehow and make your life minus him, stronger, you will heal faster. I found concentrating on hobbies and working hard in my garden helpful right after that particularly hard break up. One day at a time....don't try to think of your future so much at this time. Your future is bound to be fine. It's right now that hurts so much.

Something wasn't right in your relationship and it's best that you're finding out now rather than later. This way you have time to get on with your life. I wish you to find peace, strength and happiness from within. See your doctor if you feel you need to so you can get some help through this rough patch. Maybe an anti anxiety pill for just a little while. Trust me. It will get better. You won't always feel like this. (((hugs)))
 

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