Ladies! Another question.

[sparks19]

This woman is just proving that her love can be bought.... and you know what they call those girls? Prostitutes!

I'm sorry but I don't care what kind of ring I have or got as a proposal (which technically was none because we just made a mutual decision to get married and could NOT get a ring sized before the wedding day) She is a gold digger and they will be divorced within a year... I guarantee it. She is all about material things NOT about the things that really matter.


True love cannot be bought, fake love and sex CAN and obviously this is what she is basing her decision on.


IF he is foolish and blind enough to carry on with this they will be divorced within a year. I hope he knows that if he goes through with this it will cost him HALF.... if not more. She will take him for everything she can get away with. if you cant accept a ring out of love than it is stricly for money PERIOD. He will lose everything after this marriage.

 

[GlassOnion]

Yes they're both in college so I'm hoping/expecting them to not evne set a date until after they graduate. Unless she pushes that too.

I've already gotten him to agree to signing prenuptuals though. He's bargained for that thus far in the game.

And that tells me that he has his own doubts about it too so I'm hoping to run with that.


Either that or he just agreed to get me to shut up lol.

 

[Ashlea]

Personally I don't think wanting a ring that you like is such a big deal. I know I would ask to change the ring if I really didn't like it. I would do so nicely and with tact but at the end of the day it is a symbol and the marrige is what is important, so if you truly love each other changing the ring is not an issue.

Maybe it was the way she said it. She sounds very imature and if that is the case this won't last.

 

[travis_doggies]

Personally, I would not go ahead with the marriage and dump her. Her behaviour highlights that she is immature, plastic and a gold digger. My advice to your friend is that if he wishes to go ahead, make sure he draws up a pre-nuptial agreement and depending of which state laws/federal, maybe an anti -nuptial as well and defines the terms of divorce just in case things go wrong, as it is always the man who looses big time re divorce.

I would have major concerns that she will "forget" her contraception and fall pregnant by accident etc.

 

[Debi]

I've never wanted to return any thing that Dave ever bought me. sure, some things weren't my fave, but they were gifts from him so they were special. sooo, of course asking to exchange an engagement ring is beyond my thinking. but maybe they have that type of relationship, so he's fine with it. as far as trying to talk him out of it....won't happen. love is truly blind, and you'll just lose a friend. there are countless cases where someone's friends don't like the girl/guy they choose. but remember...she may seem like a bitch to you, but may be his perfect mate. and all a true friend does anyway is be there if things don't happen to work out. otherwise, our choices are all our own.

 

[mrose_s]

how does that work? if soemone gives you a ring and proposes. take the bugger! its not about the ring. its about how he feels abotu her and i don't think she is taking the relationship seriously

 

[Debi]

if she's this picky about the ring...just wait til the wedding plans!! ever see Bridezilla???? book her now, and have something strong to chug with your friend. LOL

 

[Melissa_W]

Oh that's horrible! He should ditch her ASAP. Who would want to be married to someone that picky and demanding?

 

[bubbatd]

Agree.... I married too young . I personally didn't like my ring , but accepted it with love. It was changed years later with Tom's blessing.

 

[short1216]

As far as the ring thing goes, if they had been together for that long it should have been talked about how they were going to pick out a ring, that way she could have expresed to him that she wanted to help pick it out. so I think that was a mistake on both of their parts. Returning it though? thats pretty tactless to ask him to do, but it also seems like she may be immature, which at twenty youre still allowed to be (to a certain extent). ok....in my opinion 20 is too young to get married. At that age you are still learning who you are, but, it's also young enough that if you screw up royally you have basically the rest of your life to recover. So if your friend does end up marrying her, which it sounds like he is intent on, (if it is a mistake) he will realize in time and he will have time to recover. When I was around that age I made HUGE mistakes for a guy I was "in love" with, and I will be paying for it well into my 30s. Here's the warning for you though....When I was in that position, everyone, I mean everyone knew it was wrong and wanted to tell me...The more everyone told me I was making mistakes the more I resented everybody (family and friends). It got to the point that I moved in with him and stopped talking to everyone that had ever meant anything to me. By the time I realized it was a huge mistake, I was still too hurt and then I was embarassed because they had been telling me this all along, that I still couldnt bring myself to talk to anyone. Being in a position like that and knowing you are completely alone is one of the worst feelings in the world. If you want to be a real friend, be there for him. If she isnt the nicest person in the world, he probably already knows this, he just isnt willing to admit it yet. People who are in love defend the ones that they are in love with. You dont want him to end up resenting you. If you already told him you dont like het then he knows that. Dont keep making an issue of it or he may eventually not want to be around you and thats not what you want. Just bite your tongue as far as the girl goes and hopefully your friend will come to his senses, and when he does, he'll appreciate the fact that you stood by him.

 

[Dizzy]

Erm.

I'm on the fence.

Do you know HOW she said she didn't like the ring? Personally, someone could give me an onion ring, and if I loved them I would be happy.

But, I'm not going to judge someone elses relationship over that. People are all different.

I have learnt that other people's relationships are complex, but usually have understandin you just can't see.

So if he wants to marry her, she wants to marry him, they have been together 3 years, then you should be HELPING them to make it work - because that is what your friend wants.

You can also be there when he is crying (IF that day came).

 

[whatszmatter]

reminds me of a girl I went out with. Did lots of stupid things so she would "love" me. including a ring purchase, not an engagement one though, although she talked about it constantly. Going thru that taught me what a sucker I was for some women's antics. Granted most before her weren't anything like her, but I learned a lot from that and thankfully I didn't have to go thru an engagement, mariage and divorce to learn them. My friends talked till they were blue in the fact as well, didn't matter. We all have to learn some lessons on our own. and at 20, marriage would be the last thing I'd be worried about.

 

[juliefurry]

Ok quick story. Eight years ago Mark proposed to his ex-wife. Proposed, she said yes, he gave her the ring she said "I want a different one with a BIGGER diamond." Mark lets her take it back and getter a ring with a bigger diamond. Two and a half years after the marriage their seperated, filing for divorce, she goes and pawns the ring for money.

 

[Renee750il]

Sounds like a real material girl to me . . .

That said, you've made your feelings known to him. Don't nag him about it. All you'll accomplish there is antagonizing her and forcing him to choose - and trust me, he won't choose his friends at this point. He ain't thinkin' with the big head

Talk about it amongst yourselves if you need to, but leave the poor guy out of the loop. He's going to have enough drama in his life - and be there to get him drunk and layed when it all comes crashing down.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Tell him to RUN!! Run far away! It's not the ring that's important, it's what it symbolizes. Unless it's a godawful plastic carnival ring with a skull and crossbones on it, she should see it for what it is and love it.

Agree with Gem. ^

How awful of her to tell him that. What it symbolizes is important.

 

[Zoom]

I echo what Renee said too...tell him once or twice and then drop it. Otherwise, he's going to get defensive, she's going to get more of his attention and suddenly you're both out. My friend stayed in a horrible relationship for much longer than I think she might have if we had just kept our mouths shut after the first 100 times of telling her to run.