Is it wrong?
- Thread starter Buddy'sParents
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I think its wrong. Personally for me it would creep me out way too much. And It would make me so very angry to know my hubby or whatever knew before we got married the truth. I would wonder what else he was hiding and not telling me about. When things like this fall through all of a sudden the person you thought you knew so well turns into a complete stab in the back stranger. Yeah creepy and the hiding of the truth from the hubby makes it even more creepier!
It would freak me out and I wouldn't be able to stay with the person, because I would be repulsed. However, I can't say it is WRONG for someone else to stay together in that situation, especially since they are choosing to not have children. Really, they are 2 adults doing what they want and not having children. It should affect no one else but themselves. They did not know beforehand, so I can't call it wrong.
I think it is hard to even think about.... It makes me shudder personally. However I am so totally in love with my hubby that the thought of having to leave someone I love that much over something I did not know, well that would pretty much destroy me. It's easy to think, I'd be outta there if I found something like that out, when you know you never will... However I look at my Hub and realize, it would just not be that simple.
I have one brother and technically he is not blood related, he was adopted and has been my brother since birth. Honestly the thought of being in a relationship with him ( Gags at even typing that ) would bother me way more than finding out someone I was not raised with was blood related. I am not sure I could ever stay once I knew but I sure can't imagine how someone would deal with it.
IF however my Hub knew before hand and had not given me the option to decide..... Well I would likely have a hard time forgiving that on any level......
I have one brother and technically he is not blood related, he was adopted and has been my brother since birth. Honestly the thought of being in a relationship with him ( Gags at even typing that ) would bother me way more than finding out someone I was not raised with was blood related. I am not sure I could ever stay once I knew but I sure can't imagine how someone would deal with it.
IF however my Hub knew before hand and had not given me the option to decide..... Well I would likely have a hard time forgiving that on any level......
Intriguing question--really had to think about this, and still answered not sure. I thought about my husband and I --we have been married for 22 years, and dated for 4 years before that. We do not know who his father is---now, if after all this time I discovered we were related--what would I do? I can't see myself leaving him--so, I'm not sure.
umm...if you never knew and fell in love and wanted a relationship anyways? I suppose you could in theory do that, provided no one outside of you two, knew. Public input would be crushing to a relationship like this IMO.
Children? no...and risking it would be selfish in the extreme. Adoption? sure why not?
If it were me? or mine? heck no.
Children? no...and risking it would be selfish in the extreme. Adoption? sure why not?
If it were me? or mine? heck no.
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In the episode, it was discovered that the husband found out prior to the wedding. Something like he couldn't believe that he had found someone so perfect with the same interests and such. So he researched, found out the truth and then married her anyway. This upset the wife and is the point in which she left. That's a big secret to keep!
Im not sure if its face, but also in the episode they said that if they were to have a child, that child would have a 300% more chance of having any developmental issues/problems, etc..
I would be horrified, and heartbroken. I love my husband there is no doubt in that,but if he turned out to be my brother, our life and the way we hope for it to be would never be able to be completed. It would never be the same and I would be married to someone with half of the same DNA. :yikes: *shudders more*
Yes, it does bother your partner!
I do see the other side of the issue, though. I understand finding your soul mate and that one person that completes you but I couldn't see staying in that relationship. If you turned out to be my brother, I would never be able to look at you the same.
Im not sure if its face, but also in the episode they said that if they were to have a child, that child would have a 300% more chance of having any developmental issues/problems, etc..
I would be horrified, and heartbroken. I love my husband there is no doubt in that,but if he turned out to be my brother, our life and the way we hope for it to be would never be able to be completed. It would never be the same and I would be married to someone with half of the same DNA. :yikes: *shudders more*
Yes, it does bother your partner!
I do see the other side of the issue, though. I understand finding your soul mate and that one person that completes you but I couldn't see staying in that relationship. If you turned out to be my brother, I would never be able to look at you the same. 
Actually it doesn't bother me at all. The lying DOES. I'm also icked out by people who are step siblings or adopted that choose to have relationships with people they were raised with, but oddly enough the thought of two people having a relationship and finding out they're half siblings when they didn't know doesn't bother me.
Actual blood relation doesn't mean that much to me, I suppose.
Actual blood relation doesn't mean that much to me, I suppose.
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I voted wrong only because if I was in that sitation, I would feel wrong and the relationship would have to end. Not for biblical reasons, but my own personal reasons.
I understand both not knowing and that kind of thing, it's just not something I could personally live with. So if it was ME, I would feel wrong- so it would be wrong to me.
I don't feel right telling other people what's wrong and what's not though when it comes to personal things like this. Not my thing I guess lol.
I understand both not knowing and that kind of thing, it's just not something I could personally live with. So if it was ME, I would feel wrong- so it would be wrong to me.
I don't feel right telling other people what's wrong and what's not though when it comes to personal things like this. Not my thing I guess lol.
Well they are half brother and sister genetically speaking and by some fluke found each other fell in love and got married.
I honestly don't know... obviously the kids thing is out the window... but that'd be a pretty shattering experience overall.
I don't think of it as brother and sister in the traditional sence... they have the same donor but that's a random chance more then an on purpose.
I tend to agree with the thought that it's not so wrong because it wasn't the being brother and sister that atrracted them to one another as is the case in most incest relationships... there was no forknowledge of all that so it takes along of the *good lord your an abomination* out of the equation...
I honestly don't know but it makes me very happy my dad is actually my dad and Jenn's dad is her dad
I honestly don't know... obviously the kids thing is out the window... but that'd be a pretty shattering experience overall.
I don't think of it as brother and sister in the traditional sence... they have the same donor but that's a random chance more then an on purpose.
I tend to agree with the thought that it's not so wrong because it wasn't the being brother and sister that atrracted them to one another as is the case in most incest relationships... there was no forknowledge of all that so it takes along of the *good lord your an abomination* out of the equation...
I honestly don't know but it makes me very happy my dad is actually my dad and Jenn's dad is her dad
im with laurelin on this one.
the reason incest is a huge nono in most customs is not because 'its icky' but because of the gentic problems that arise in the offspring!
way back when incest was common, though often not close as brother sister uncle to neice ect was not unusual! they thought it "strengthend" bloodlines kept them "pure" (like linebreeding in dogs) medical science realized this not so muhc the case in humans, especially the closer blood relationships and soon afte rlaws were set in place to prevent the problems, and soon after that...what better way to encourage people to follow those laws than to make incestuous relationships socially unacceptable, this follows throught he generations and in this day and age there is no question incst is bad...but most people never put thought into WHY, just that its "not the done thing"
now personally i have a brother, i grew up with him...could i be in a relationship other than brother sister with him? NO, why? because our relationship dynamic has been strongly structured over the years and i could never see him in a sexual way (for many reasons ontop of "hes my brother")
lets change the person, lets say i grew up with a step brother, who was extreemly hot, not related in any way shape or form other than marriage...
could i have a sexual relationship with him? probably not, again growing up our relationship dynamic would have been set in such a way that he would be my brother, even if not by blood, and while some have a certain moral flexibility, for me, i just couldnt do that.
however if you dont grow up wiht that person, neve rknew that person was your brother/sister, the relationship dynamic changes, you meet you click and possibly fall inlove. for me at least im not sure i could pass up a potential soul mate on the knowledge our dna is the same on one side, if the origional dynamic was ot set as brother/sister before hand.
i mean lis was mentioned, you marry a guy you dated for a good couple years, been married for practicaly foever and find out when your say 80 that you 2 were 1/2 brother/sister al along...then what? get a divnorce after so many years of happy marrigae on the basis that now hes my brither its icky!?
on that note though, i do feel it is extreemly important that these folks should they know and decide to stay together ADOPT or use a sperm donor for children instead simply because of the mental, physical and emothional risks that could have on the child.
the gentic side of things would be too dangerous for me to ever even consider that risk.
but in the hypothetical 80yr old couples case, if they dont know unfortunatly you cant fault them on having children of their own. and once the damage is done...
the reason incest is a huge nono in most customs is not because 'its icky' but because of the gentic problems that arise in the offspring!
way back when incest was common, though often not close as brother sister uncle to neice ect was not unusual! they thought it "strengthend" bloodlines kept them "pure" (like linebreeding in dogs) medical science realized this not so muhc the case in humans, especially the closer blood relationships and soon afte rlaws were set in place to prevent the problems, and soon after that...what better way to encourage people to follow those laws than to make incestuous relationships socially unacceptable, this follows throught he generations and in this day and age there is no question incst is bad...but most people never put thought into WHY, just that its "not the done thing"
now personally i have a brother, i grew up with him...could i be in a relationship other than brother sister with him? NO, why? because our relationship dynamic has been strongly structured over the years and i could never see him in a sexual way (for many reasons ontop of "hes my brother")
lets change the person, lets say i grew up with a step brother, who was extreemly hot, not related in any way shape or form other than marriage...
could i have a sexual relationship with him? probably not, again growing up our relationship dynamic would have been set in such a way that he would be my brother, even if not by blood, and while some have a certain moral flexibility, for me, i just couldnt do that.
however if you dont grow up wiht that person, neve rknew that person was your brother/sister, the relationship dynamic changes, you meet you click and possibly fall inlove. for me at least im not sure i could pass up a potential soul mate on the knowledge our dna is the same on one side, if the origional dynamic was ot set as brother/sister before hand.
i mean lis was mentioned, you marry a guy you dated for a good couple years, been married for practicaly foever and find out when your say 80 that you 2 were 1/2 brother/sister al along...then what? get a divnorce after so many years of happy marrigae on the basis that now hes my brither its icky!?
on that note though, i do feel it is extreemly important that these folks should they know and decide to stay together ADOPT or use a sperm donor for children instead simply because of the mental, physical and emothional risks that could have on the child.
the gentic side of things would be too dangerous for me to ever even consider that risk.
but in the hypothetical 80yr old couples case, if they dont know unfortunatly you cant fault them on having children of their own. and once the damage is done...
I voted OK...only because I saw a couple with this exact circumstance on 20/20 or some program like that. Until I heard them talk about how they felt and what they meant to eachother, I don't know as I would have felt this way, but, removing kids from the equation, I certainly don't see it as the same thing as 'dirty' or 'nasty' incest...
Love is a funny thing. You can (I guess) love eachother in spite of the previously unknown link just like one can love a baby born to another mother just as if they grew in your own womb.
Love is a funny thing. You can (I guess) love eachother in spite of the previously unknown link just like one can love a baby born to another mother just as if they grew in your own womb.
Man, I don't know. If it were me, I'd break it off. But imagine you've been seeing this person for a couple years, always thinking of them as "boyfriend/husband" . . . It would be hard to even conceptualize that the guy is also "brother." Obviously kids would be out of the question. But even with that "solved" (tubes tied, vasectomy, whatever), I think it would freak me out too much.