Saje,
I am very sorry. That it is a life altering event, but it doesn't mean it has to alter your life in a bad way. I believe there is a wonderful job out there somewhere waiting for you to come claim it. A lot of things in life seem horrible, but turn out to be the very things that make our life better. I know its scary but keep believing in yourself and keep yourself open to new ideas. My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.