In my opinion, admittedly that of someone who was raised Christian but is not a practicing member of that religion (I believe in God, but I'm not sure that any religion has it entirely right.)
But in my opinion, to be a Christian, you MUST be a good person. A bad person can not be a good Christian, even if they believe all the "right" things. Bigotry, hatred, intolerance, violence, lack of compassion, contempt for others . . . these are all un-Christian things. To be sure, you can disapprove of others behavior, you can "hate the sin," but you shouldn't "hate the sinner.'
There's a lot of debate in Christianity right now about what Christians shoudl believe . . . and there are many different sects of Christianity with different answers.
But you've got the basics down, whatever sect you belong to, and really, what ever religion. You care for others, you show compassion, you do not monger hate and contempt . . . you're a good person . . . you're a good Christian. Don't let them tell you otherwise.
But in my opinion, to be a Christian, you MUST be a good person. A bad person can not be a good Christian, even if they believe all the "right" things. Bigotry, hatred, intolerance, violence, lack of compassion, contempt for others . . . these are all un-Christian things. To be sure, you can disapprove of others behavior, you can "hate the sin," but you shouldn't "hate the sinner.'
There's a lot of debate in Christianity right now about what Christians shoudl believe . . . and there are many different sects of Christianity with different answers.
But you've got the basics down, whatever sect you belong to, and really, what ever religion. You care for others, you show compassion, you do not monger hate and contempt . . . you're a good person . . . you're a good Christian. Don't let them tell you otherwise.
Here's my take, as a Quaker who would never dream of addressing someone and telling them they are a bad Christian. Anyone who comes out and tells you you are a bad Christian without being asked for their opinion has a fundamental misunderstanding of Christianity and is in no position to have an opinion on the subject.
I am a very liberal Christian as well, and honestly the people that parade themselves around as the model Christian and are always judging me and others are the least Christ-like people I know. The Christians I truly look up to are not the ones that point out every flaw in every person but are humble people who you can count on to support you and help you when you need it the most.
Honestly, when someone has to point out every time they're better at anything than someone else, I take it with a huge grain of salt. Usually it expresses some form of insecurity on their part and has nothing to do with you.
I don't think you need to be ultra conservative to be a Christian, but you need to trust yourself to make the right choice and stay strong in your faith. Being pro-life and anti gay marriage do not make you any religion whatsoever. I've thought long and hard on many controversial topics and made up my own mind about what I think is accurate and right according to my beliefs and my own personal sense of right and wrong.
So, don't put any stock into what they're saying. Until they are free of sin, they cannot judge me.
Honestly, when someone has to point out every time they're better at anything than someone else, I take it with a huge grain of salt. Usually it expresses some form of insecurity on their part and has nothing to do with you.
I don't think you need to be ultra conservative to be a Christian, but you need to trust yourself to make the right choice and stay strong in your faith. Being pro-life and anti gay marriage do not make you any religion whatsoever. I've thought long and hard on many controversial topics and made up my own mind about what I think is accurate and right according to my beliefs and my own personal sense of right and wrong.
So, don't put any stock into what they're saying. Until they are free of sin, they cannot judge me.
And it's better to be a bad Christian and a good person than a good Christian and a bad person. 
The word Christian generally means "Christ's follower", which means a Christian is one who lives according to the teachings of Jesus. Fortunately for us we don't have to guess on how to be one. Jesus gave pretty clear instruction when he said, "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Jn 13:34-35.
Tessa,
To me, being a Christian means that a person has encountered the true and living God and that he has undergone a change in his heart and soul. It means that he is changed on the inside, not controlled from the outside. It does not mean that he's required to go to church, required to read the Bible, required to be good, required to do anything in order to stay a Christian but that he desires to do those things out of love for God because he's been touched & changed by God's love for him. To be a Christian means to follow Christ, to desire Him, to fellowship with Him, to be indwelt by Him, and to bring glory to Him in one's life.
With that being said, only YOU (and of course, God) know if you're a good Christian or not.
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