facebook...what should i do?

[shazbot]

I logged into facebook this evening to find a friend request waiting for me. When I opened it, I realized it was a guy from high school who was the biggest ass/bully to me. He made my life misserable, was jealous because I was a better athlete than him, and constantly teased me about it.

Do I accept his friend request or ignore it? I know it seems stupid to even be considering it, but I know people change as they get older...any ideas?

 

[JennSLK]

Well you can allways unfreind him later if he is still a @ss

 

[sparks19]

if you want to friend him and see if he changed then friend him

if you'd like to just forget about him all together don't friend him

if you friend him and he's still a jerk off unfriend him later

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

I think you have to ask yourself if it will make you happy or miserable to have this person on as your friend? Then make the decision you can live with.

 

[noludoru]

I logged into facebook this evening to find a friend request waiting for me. When I opened it, I realized it was a guy from high school who was the biggest ass/bully to me. He made my life misserable, was jealous because I was a better athlete than him, and constantly teased me about it.

Do I accept his friend request or ignore it? I know it seems stupid to even be considering it, but I know people change as they get older...any ideas?

We all know what the correct answer here is.

Ignore + block.

 

[ACooper]

Well you can allways unfreind him later if he is still a @ss

Personally (if it were me) I'd listen to Nolly...........but I'm sure we aren't the same, LOL, so Jenn's idea is also something to think about if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

People can/do change over the years.........life has a way of teaching us some harsh lessons, BUT.......this person may not even remember it the same way you do, he may remember the two of you being great friends and 'teasing' EACH OTHER, who knows?

 

[AGonzalez]

I had this happen on Myspace a couple of years ago. A girl that literally beat the hell out of me in high school tried to "friend" me. So I accepted it, figuring I can get rid of them later if they're going to be an ass.

Anyway, she friended me to make an apology for all the nasty things she'd done to me and told me how bad she had felt about it. So maybe it is worth it to get some closure on the subject?

 

[noludoru]

Personally (if it were me) I'd listen to Nolly...........but I'm sure we aren't the same, LOL, so Jenn's idea is also something to think about if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

People can/do change over the years.........life has a way of teaching us some harsh lessons, BUT.......this person may not even remember it the same way you do, he may remember the two of you being great friends and 'teasing' EACH OTHER, who knows?

With some people, sure, but if you make someone's life a misery for years, you can't possibly miss it. I think giving him the benefit of the doubt is just a bad idea. Good in theory, but will probably blow up in your face. One of the things I have done on facebook is to block everyone from middle/high school who made my life a misery that tried to friend me. This isn't high school anymore - I don't have to associate with them, and I'm sure not going to voluntarily. Facebook is for fun, not drama and misery and digging up old wounds. Just my opinion, though.

Although, I should add that it's pretty entertaining to look at some of the pages before you block them. Got your GED, got married, and had two kids with your "god-chosen soul-mate" by 19 instead of getting a higher education? Yeah, I may be an ass now for laughing at her poor choices, but she was downright evil to me for 5 years so I just don't feel bad.

 

[milos_mommy]

Although, I should add that it's pretty entertaining to look at some of the pages before you block them. Got your GED, got married, and had two kids with your "god-chosen soul-mate" by 19 instead of getting a higher education? Yeah, I may be an ass now for laughing at her poor choices, but she was downright evil to me for 5 years so I just don't feel bad.

Yeah, because every person who goes on to get a higher education is better off than someone who gets married and has kids when they're young. How is getting a GED a "poor choice"?? Who's to say they aren't looking at your page and laughing at your poor choices? It obviously doesn't matter if you're happy with the choices you've made but the same goes for them.


To the OP, it's really up to you. I ran into a guy at the grocery store about two years after hs graduation and he was like "I think you went to HS with you....sorry if I was a total asshole." He wasn't anymore of a jerk than 75% of the rest of my HS class but he wasn't particularly nice, either. I see him around now and he's really sweet and totally different than in HS. People in HS are kids. Some people don't change but most do. Unless he caused you severe stress and you're worried about that happening again, I'd say add him and give him a chance to show you how he is now. Facebook is just facebook, it doesn't mean he'll want to hang out or be friends, he might just want to see what you're up to. He might want to apologize. He might still be a total jerk.

 

[noludoru]

Yeah, because every person who goes on to get a higher education is better off than someone who gets married and has kids when they're young. How is getting a GED a "poor choice"?? Who's to say they aren't looking at your page and laughing at your poor choices? It obviously doesn't matter if you're happy with the choices you've made but the same goes for them.

When she had the grades and opportunity to graduate if she hadn't dropped out and two parents who were going to pay for her college so she could get a degree. . . yeah, I think a GED and two kids at 19 is the stupid decision out of the two. I'm not saying it doesn't work for some people, but when something like 30% of jobs now require a degree, and generally the higher-paying ones and specialized careers do, I do think that's a downright stupid decision. A degree doesn't mean you're smarter or even better prepared than anyone else, but it's a little piece of paper that can get you an advantage in a competitive job market. And my page is private, so if anyone's laughing at my poor choices it wont be through facebook. Then again, I also didn't spend years tormenting people to the point that they would laugh at my idiotic decisions.

 

[sparks19]

hmmm...I don't have a degree

and I am very happy as a stay at home mom.

now of course I didn't have kids so young but really to stay people that have kids at a young age are miserable is kind of silly

Yeah up to the standards of the "elitists" I'm a failure and if I was to get divorced (god forbid) or if my spouse were to die (god forbid even more) I would do my VERY VERY Best to support Hannah and I also have the support of LOTS of family.

yeah a failure to most and I"m sure they are all laughing at me... but then again it seems most are past their first divorce and are single mothers from what I've seen of the people who bullied in highschool Generally the "successful" people aren't the ones who were bullies in highschool

 

[shazbot]

Thank you for all the advice. I decided to not accept his request. Just not something I really want to deal with. It took me a long time to get over the teasing I endured in high school. Even through high school I was able to put act like his bs didn't bother me, but it really did hurt me. He may have changed, as we all do when we get older, but I don't think he's changed that much after looking at his page. A lot of his comments to his friends remind me of the person he was in high school.

 

[noludoru]

hmmm...I don't have a degree

and I am very happy as a stay at home mom.

now of course I didn't have kids so young but really to stay people that have kids at a young age are miserable is kind of silly

Yeah up to the standards of the "elitists" I'm a failure and if I was to get divorced (god forbid) or if my spouse were to die (god forbid even more) I would do my VERY VERY Best to support Hannah and I also have the support of LOTS of family.

yeah a failure to most and I"m sure they are all laughing at me... but then again it seems most are past their first divorce and are single mothers from what I've seen of the people who bullied in highschool Generally the "successful" people aren't the ones who were bullies in highschool

See, Sparks, if you'd read my post carefully you wouldn't have taken that personally or as a dig towards people who don't have degrees. I know plenty of successful people who don't have degrees, and 'success' is something everyone defines differently. I also didn't say she or anyone else is miserable or is going to be.

What I said was, with the opportunity to get a high school diploma and a degree for free, she made the stupid decision in my opinion, when that degree - or at least a high school diploma - is going to look a lot better in the job market when she goes back to work, if she ever has to. Which, statistically, she probably will. Basically this girl dropped out of high school to get married/have kids. Ridiculous when you could just get the high school diploma, IMO.

Thank you for all the advice. I decided to not accept his request. Just not something I really want to deal with. It took me a long time to get over the teasing I endured in high school. Even through high school I was able to put act like his bs didn't bother me, but it really did hurt me. He may have changed, as we all do when we get older, but I don't think he's changed that much after looking at his page. A lot of his comments to his friends remind me of the person he was in high school.

I just don't understand why anyone would "friend" someone on facebook who they never even liked in the first place. ETA: that comment is about him, not you.

 

[shazbot]

I just don't understand why anyone would "friend" someone on facebook who they never even liked in the first place. ETA: that comment is about him, not you.

I have no clue. I was really surprised when I saw who the request came from. Part of me wanted to send a msg saying thanks but no thanks, you made my life hell and really don't want to relive that. I just ignored him, and left it at that.