So i've gone full circle, to being mad on animals and wanting to be a vet, to thinking I'm probably not smart enough, wanting to be a paleontoligist, not wanting to travel, wanting to be a pilot, a groomer, vet nurse, zoo keeper and now I'm thinking, why the hell shoudln't I be a vet?
Thing is, I didn't finish school, I'm getting close to 18 (next march) and the school year is almost over. Now I was repeating grade 11 but I just can't stand the school system. So I really can't go back now as I am not being an 18 yo in grade 11 when everyone else is 16.
I have to ring TAFE on Monday, they are a tertiary type thing, like uni only simpler things, they run courses for different things like becoming a chef etc. And I was considering goign back and doing my yr 11/12 through them, but I need a Tertiary Entrance Rank off 99/100 to even be considered for uni.
I do well at biology but maths is not a strong point so I will need tutoring, plus to get into the TAFE course I need to pass well year 10 maths and english. Year 10 I let my maths slip but my english was spot on.
I also imagine I will need chemistry and physics. In grade 10 I did a "prep" type course for 6 months, which was basiclaly a crash course on chem, physics and biol. I did very well at biol and so continued with that though physicis involves a lot of maths and although it wasn't overly hard I didn't love it and chemistry moved to fast for me so I didn't continue with that.
Now I'm thinking I'll take next year off aswell, save some money, get my license etc then be able to make up my mind whether I go do TAFE the year after. My other reaosn for that is I'm sh!t scared I won't have the motivation I need to do relaly well. It's an $800 course so I can't afford to keep repeating it.
I've been thinking about it for the last few months but in the last few days it's really come to the forefront of my mind. It would procide me with everything I've always wanted, I could work with animals and be able to pay for the things I want in life, all that is is a decent amount of land.
I'm terrified I've screwed up too much already, I'm terrified that if I go for this I'll fail miserably and drop out again, I've already done that twice and by now I feel like a complete failure. I was always the "intellectual" in my family and I can't even force my way through grade 11 let alone go to uni.
I'm scared I just will never have the motivation to do this, which I know is stupid because my level of motivation is my decision and I'm scared of myself in that way.
I can't get it out of my head, what the hell do I do.
Thing is, I didn't finish school, I'm getting close to 18 (next march) and the school year is almost over. Now I was repeating grade 11 but I just can't stand the school system. So I really can't go back now as I am not being an 18 yo in grade 11 when everyone else is 16.
I have to ring TAFE on Monday, they are a tertiary type thing, like uni only simpler things, they run courses for different things like becoming a chef etc. And I was considering goign back and doing my yr 11/12 through them, but I need a Tertiary Entrance Rank off 99/100 to even be considered for uni.
I do well at biology but maths is not a strong point so I will need tutoring, plus to get into the TAFE course I need to pass well year 10 maths and english. Year 10 I let my maths slip but my english was spot on.
I also imagine I will need chemistry and physics. In grade 10 I did a "prep" type course for 6 months, which was basiclaly a crash course on chem, physics and biol. I did very well at biol and so continued with that though physicis involves a lot of maths and although it wasn't overly hard I didn't love it and chemistry moved to fast for me so I didn't continue with that.
Now I'm thinking I'll take next year off aswell, save some money, get my license etc then be able to make up my mind whether I go do TAFE the year after. My other reaosn for that is I'm sh!t scared I won't have the motivation I need to do relaly well. It's an $800 course so I can't afford to keep repeating it.
I've been thinking about it for the last few months but in the last few days it's really come to the forefront of my mind. It would procide me with everything I've always wanted, I could work with animals and be able to pay for the things I want in life, all that is is a decent amount of land.
I'm terrified I've screwed up too much already, I'm terrified that if I go for this I'll fail miserably and drop out again, I've already done that twice and by now I feel like a complete failure. I was always the "intellectual" in my family and I can't even force my way through grade 11 let alone go to uni.
I'm scared I just will never have the motivation to do this, which I know is stupid because my level of motivation is my decision and I'm scared of myself in that way.
I can't get it out of my head, what the hell do I do.