I'm angry

[squirtsmom]

Alot of you know that my h usband was killed 2 months ago, hit by a drunk driver. Then, on a p ublic forum, there are all these stories about how much fun we have had when were wasted. I am not a teatotaler, however, when any aged person can get on a forum and read these stories, what are we telling them? That it is fun to get drunk and act like an idiot, and that it is okay? That they will know that al though they can get drunk, they s houldn't drive. The kid that hit my husband was 17. hhhhmmmm. I know that this will make me unpopular, but if it had happened to you, you would not find these stories funny, or r esponsible. My husband left behind four daughters, who cry for him constantly. I had let my 11 year old on here because normally the stories are so neat, and the support awesome. She didn't understand this thread either.

 

[Renee750il]

I am sorry you and your daughter have had such an awful tragedy, and I am sorry that you are feeling so much anger. You've plenty of justification for feeling that way toward the person who caused you this pain.

You aren't, however, justified in lashing out at others here. You'll notice that no one has condoned getting behind the wheel after drinking, and with the exception of one story, none involve driving at all. This is a good bunch of people here. I'm sure everyone will be understanding and not take personal offense.

 

[Amstaffer]

I am very sorry for your loss

 

[Saje]

I'm sorry you feel bad and I can understand as much as possible. I've never been through anything so awful and I certainly don't drink and drive.

I'm glad you aren't letting your 11-year-old on here anymore. It's only for 13-year-olds and older if they show the maturity.

If something offends you on this forum it's probably best to steer clear. We can't all agree with everything and yes, drinking is a reality. I don't have a problem with people getting drunk and a little silly as long as they stay safe. This kind of information is available anywhere. Not just on this forum and if you take the time to talk to our younger members you'll see how mature and rational they are.

 

[otch1]

Hi squirtsmom... I had no idea your husband was killed by a drunk driver. I make jokes about having a cocktail here and there, all of the time and you never know how hurtful that is to someone, until you hear a story like yours. Trust me, the majority of us do not drive under those circumstances. I am so sorry for your loss!!

 

[Gempress]

I am sorry for your loss and don't blame you for being upset.

But I echo Renee and Saje's sentiments. And yes, this forum is intended for those 13 and older. It says so up front, when a person first joins. This is a forum with thousands of members. Not everyone will agree. The thread was certainly not meant to be malicious.

 

[Kase]

I'm so sorry for your loss . (((((HUGS)))))

I know no one on here would condone drunk driving and I'm sorry that you feel angry because of that thread.

 

[MomOf7]

I totally understand. I know I for one will stay away from that thread. Sometimes we as a community need to be understanding and conciencious of others feelings.

 

[Gustav]

I had no idea about your husband when I posted that thread, and I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings, but in all honesty it was only a bit of fun. A chance for us to laugh at ourselves... Something I find myself doing more often than not.

I am in no way endorsing drink driving, and apart from once case, it has been motorised vehicle free.

 

[bubbatd]

I can understand her frustration with her tragedy being so fresh . To me drinking is a social occasion .....not one to head into with the thought of getting wasted. Too many teenagers want to get high ....whether and booze or drugs.

 

[joce]

I always point out people are stupid if they do drink and drive. I think jsut a comment of a drunk driver killed my husband might make them think a little. With something like that it doens't evne take lecturing it kind of jsut gets the point across.

I'm sorry about that by the way. I never heard.


there is a diffrence between drinking safely and completely risking peoples lifes though. Some people cna't make the distinction but I hope most of us here can.

 

[Squidbert]

I'm so very sorry for your loss hun (((((hugs)))))

I really don't think anyone here meant to hurt your feelings.. I'm so sorry you felt upset after reading that thread.. I'm sure no one here feels drinking and driving is an acceptable action.. though I'm sure the very idea of drinking at all would be upsetting to you.. and I'm sorry for that.. I do wish you all the best.. I hope you don't hold anything against these people.. I don't want to speak for anyone but I'm pretty sure they would never want to hurt you.. (((((hugs)))))

 

[RD]

I am terribly sorry, Squirtsmom, for both your tragic loss and your hurt feelings.

However, i don't think anyone here condones drunk driving. I can understand that this is a sensitive subject for you, so please do yourself a favor and avoid it.

(((hugs)))

 

[nancy2394]

squirtsmom... I am truly sorry for your loss. But you must realize that not everyone on here reads every thread and may not be aware that you just lost your husband to a drunk driver.

That thread that was started about drunken stories was all out of fun. The experience I shared was from 1998. I am not a drunk by any means. I do on occasion let loose and tie one one and have fun. It does not mean we are irresponsible.

I would NEVER ever condone drinking and driving. I despise people who put there life as well as anyone else they may come in contact in danger like that. That is probably one of the most irresponsible things a person can do because it's not just their life they're playing russian roulette with.. it's all the innocent lives too.

I wish there was something we could do to help ease your pain. You have a right to have a bad feeling about drinking.. but try not to hold everyone else responsible for your husband's death.

That 17 year old kid that killed your husband was wrong. But I'm sure he didn't learn to drink from a public forum. Whether we discuss drinking and having fun on here or not... people will still make that choice to drink and drive. It's not something they learn from reading on a forum.. it's the environment they were exposed to as they grew up. At least that's how I feel about it.

My daughter knows all about drinking and how I've on occasion had a few too many. She knows a lot of the stories (edited version) but she is responsible enough to know that it was in a controlled enviornment with adults. I am not worried about her drinking under age and I'm certainly not worried about her drinking and driving.. that is something I have drilled into her head.

This anger you are feeling is part of the grieving process. It is natural. For those of you who may think squirtsmom is being angry toward us.. I don't really think it is directed to us. I think we're the outlet for her anger she has right now. If I am wrong, then you can correct me.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can forgive this kid that killed your husband and move on with your life with your two kids who are lucky to still have you.

 

[Debi]

agree...the drinking posts were just for silly fun. I kid about drinking ALL the time, yet we never drive IF we do drink. I respect your feelings, but again...nobody meant to hurt your feelings soooo add me to your big (((HUGS))) list. I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be extremely difficult. we will understand your frustration and sadness, so vent anytime. I'd be angry, too. because you're angry at the situation, not the forum.

 

[EliNHunter]

My thoughts are with you, Squirtsmom...

 

[dogsarebetter]

i am very very sorry for your loss.
i cannot imagine the troubles you are having.
however some post you just need to stay clear of. i didnt read the posts either because i thought it would upset me.
like what everyone said, it was in no way directed to you. its just how life is. people drink, and they think it is fun.

i am truley sorry for your horrible tragedy. please try not to be as upset. we are all here for you and never would mean to hurt you

((((HUGS))))

 

[Meggie]

Oh Squirtsmom, I didn't know, my heart goes out to you and your girls. I completely understand how you feel and why you posted.

I agree with everything Nancy posted above. They may not learn to drink on a public forum, but hopefully the young people on this board will remember what you've said. You've made it a little more personal for them now.

(((hugs)))

 

[Buddy'sParents]

I am sorry for your loss, Squirtsmom. I can not even imagine how much pain you are going through.

How people can laugh and joke about such an immature and irresponsible act as getting drunk, is beyond me, but it's also not up to me, which is why I have avoided the thread. To each their own. There are grown ups on here that do as they will with their lives and we can not stop them. Whether a topic about drunken adventures is suitable for a forum of members 13 years and up is questionable although we have had controversial subjects before and we've come out okay in the end.

There will always be a thread that one does not agree with. We tend to have some heated debates from time to time. It is best to know what you yourself can and can not handle. Avoid sensitive subject threads and realize that not everyone knows your story. With a forum as large as this one, there is no way to know all of 10,000+ members and their life stories.

That that thread was not started as a means to hurt anyone. It's just another thread and you most certainly do not have to read it, nor participate in it.

 

[dogsarebetter]

when i seen the threads i immediately thought of all the 13 -16 year old kids reading it, wanting to go get drunk
like buddy'sParents it was inappropriate and i dont think it belonged.

(i just took a look at the fist couple of pages)