What do you do when a family member constantly interferes with what you're trying to do with dog training?
Here's the story:
The Biggest Obstacle to Successful Dog Training
Here's the story:
The Biggest Obstacle to Successful Dog Training
The Biggest Obstacle to Successful Dog Training
- Thread starter vmills
- Start date
I had trouble with a certain family member *dad* not enforcing the rules with Yoshi. She'd listen to me but not him. So I started not telling her to stop. When he realized he couldn't get her to calm down he realized pretty quick he was going to have to teach her the rules with him too or he was going to have to deal with a crazy hyper dog XD
The family member is the dreaded MIL and my age is . . . OK, can't do it, but I'm an older adult.
crazedACD
Active Member
I was going to make a thread about this the other day. My sister was telling me she was playing ball with Romeo, and 'making him sit and stuff like you do!". Haha okay so she takes an interest, but I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed, she tends to do the 'sit sit sit SIT sit sit'. Or asks him to do something, and if he doesn't, she throws the ball anyway. I don't know the solution, no one seems to 'get it'.
ETA..sometimes if you sit down and explain you are trying to do ___, they will listen and try to watch themselves. Then again, my mom has no concept of the 'ignore the barking dog' thing, she thinks I'm lying or something.
ETA..sometimes if you sit down and explain you are trying to do ___, they will listen and try to watch themselves. Then again, my mom has no concept of the 'ignore the barking dog' thing, she thinks I'm lying or something.
StillandSilent
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Argon has my mother trained to leap to his commands. He is allowed on furniture if a blanket is covering it. He also likes to sit in the big chair with her when she visits. This is how it typically goes.
Mom: "Argon, come sit with me!" Pat, pat, pat on the blanket
Argon: Approaches the chair and stands there
Mom: "Come on Argon!"
Argon: Puts his head and front legs in her lap.
Mom: "Argon, I know you can jump up. Come on."
Argon: Whimpers and paws at the air
Mom: "Argon, this is not cute! I know you can jump!"
Argon: More whining and pawing.
Mom: "Argon! Either jump or don't, but quit doing that!"
Argon: Pitiful Moan
Mom: "Fine! You are such a baby!"
Then she scoops him up and places him on the chair. And she wonders why he won't jump up for her like he does for me.
Mom: "Argon, come sit with me!" Pat, pat, pat on the blanket
Argon: Approaches the chair and stands there
Mom: "Come on Argon!"
Argon: Puts his head and front legs in her lap.
Mom: "Argon, I know you can jump up. Come on."
Argon: Whimpers and paws at the air
Mom: "Argon, this is not cute! I know you can jump!"
Argon: More whining and pawing.
Mom: "Argon! Either jump or don't, but quit doing that!"
Argon: Pitiful Moan
Mom: "Fine! You are such a baby!"
Then she scoops him up and places him on the chair. And she wonders why he won't jump up for her like he does for me.
Dr. Zombie Snakes
New Member
Ugh, yes. Being a crossover clicker trainer with a house of people who use more traditional methods is excessively tiring, and it can make me pretty defensive when it comes to Lobo.
BUT, my family have also started listening a little bit more, when they see that yelling at a barking dog is doing NOTHING except making it all worse. Sometimes, anyway... My grandpa is still buried in the dark and refuses to turn around and "see the light" so to speak.
And just so that I don't offend anyone: I don't care if my family never wants to touch a clicker or anything like that. That's their choice, not mine. I just want them to stop yelling at their fear-reactive dog so we can make some progress.
BUT, my family have also started listening a little bit more, when they see that yelling at a barking dog is doing NOTHING except making it all worse. Sometimes, anyway... My grandpa is still buried in the dark and refuses to turn around and "see the light" so to speak.
And just so that I don't offend anyone: I don't care if my family never wants to touch a clicker or anything like that. That's their choice, not mine. I just want them to stop yelling at their fear-reactive dog so we can make some progress.
~WelshStump~
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Well, it eventually took my new dog trying to kill my older dog for my family to start listening. Truth, they still don't always, and I resort to what I've always done, REMOVE MY DOGS! If THEY can't listen to me, being MY dogs, they all go to their corner. Living with a dog who has serious issues, and another who instinctively believes it's her job to control that, can be a challenge when the people around you think they know best. Now that they realize the way they handle the dogs when the dogs are having a differing of opinions can make or brake the situation they have been listening to me more. Just this morning I had to low and gruffly command my mother to "stop talking to him like that" referring to the way she was verbally "correcting" Jin for nasty growling at her. If I hadn't have stepped in, End may have launched herself at him to "finish the job", instead my mother stopped and I whistled to Jin and he calmed down, and was able to settled when not harassed or perused or even "noticed" for his behavior and everyone got breakfast shortly after.
Yes, sometimes it take one tragic event to finally change some minds, and that's the only way they learn. "Well, I've always texted while driving and never had a problem, it's just scare tactics!" Says the person whose friend will die the next day from that activity. Humans are stubborn by nature, and sometimes you can only just go so far in educating, when someone just doesn't want to listen or hear it they wont no matter how loud you scream or how yummy you sugar coat it.
Best advise I can give, again, if there is a serious problem "remove the dog", it's not worth it, and it can be easy to do. You can train the dog in your spare time to "go to a spot" like a bed in another room or crate, make it fun! And when there is a family problem, command the dog, and hopefully problem solved. This of coarse will not work in all situations, such as on family walks or outings, but maybe if you put enough work into, training the dog to "go to place", your family might also start to see that "you really have something there, I'm listening now, show me more!".
Yes, sometimes it take one tragic event to finally change some minds, and that's the only way they learn. "Well, I've always texted while driving and never had a problem, it's just scare tactics!" Says the person whose friend will die the next day from that activity. Humans are stubborn by nature, and sometimes you can only just go so far in educating, when someone just doesn't want to listen or hear it they wont no matter how loud you scream or how yummy you sugar coat it.
Best advise I can give, again, if there is a serious problem "remove the dog", it's not worth it, and it can be easy to do. You can train the dog in your spare time to "go to a spot" like a bed in another room or crate, make it fun! And when there is a family problem, command the dog, and hopefully problem solved. This of coarse will not work in all situations, such as on family walks or outings, but maybe if you put enough work into, training the dog to "go to place", your family might also start to see that "you really have something there, I'm listening now, show me more!".
This is interesting advice and if I were going to remove the dogs to a spot, I would be doing it several times a day, at least at first. It's possible that this would work over time, given that I am persistent.
Just today the BIG offender commented that "you have to stop these dogs from barking so much." I can't. She won't listen and keeps yelling at them. Then they bark even more. It's a good opportunity to try out this advice.
mrose_s
BusterLove
My family is thankfully pretty good, especially with Quinn because they have seen her at her worst and they know the amount of work I've put into her to get her back from there and, well, they know I know my sh*t.
They still do a bit of the "sit, sit, sit, SIT!" and then rewards them by letting them out the door or have the treat of whatever. I'm like "she knows it, don't reward her testing you out"
Mum's getting much better, especially since we started working on their door bolting (our entire yard is fully fenced so we never bothered much about manners for the front door before) and now if Quinn tries to go out before verbally allowed Mum just leaves her inside, has made a big difference.
They are all pretty good about it other than them telling me I over think things too much. I don't think I overthink thigs but I'm not going to decide now I know it all and can work it out myself from here on in.
They still do a bit of the "sit, sit, sit, SIT!" and then rewards them by letting them out the door or have the treat of whatever. I'm like "she knows it, don't reward her testing you out"
Mum's getting much better, especially since we started working on their door bolting (our entire yard is fully fenced so we never bothered much about manners for the front door before) and now if Quinn tries to go out before verbally allowed Mum just leaves her inside, has made a big difference.
They are all pretty good about it other than them telling me I over think things too much. I don't think I overthink thigs but I'm not going to decide now I know it all and can work it out myself from here on in.
~WelshStump~
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Yes, and training them something like "go to place" could very well help this behavior too! Simply reward them ONLY for being quiet while being in their spot, they'll learn pretty quick if you're persistent and good with rewards this should help the barking too.
Oh, and how I hate the "double commands" too! My family is obnoxious about that to and it drives me nuts! "Sit, sit, siiiit, SIT! sit..." STOP IT! Say it once, wait, then make it happen if they don't or move on and I'll deal with it, at least my dogs know me well enough, but that frustrates my family "why wont they listen to me?", because YOU don't listen to me when I show you how to teach them, duh.
It is definitely best to have the whole family living under the same roof to follow through certain instructions with regards to the dog(s) at home. Wouldn't want to confuse them with family member A saying one thing and family member B saying another different thing.