Teaching children from a very young age to respect dogs

[Shakou]

So, some of you who have read in the non-dog related area that last week I discovered that I'm 5 weeks pregnant This is awesome news for us, as we've been trying for years, but issues with infertility have gotten in the way.
Now we can finally move forward.

I've always said when we have kids, I'd never rehome my animals, and I still don't plan to without a very good reason. I love my dogs. They've been with us through out all our crazy adventures around the U.S. and I can't imagine moving forward into this new stage in life without them. Both of my dogs are kid friendly, though Ma'ii, knowing him and his personality, isn't as tolerant of abuse as Charlotte would be. I don't think he'd ever hurt a kid, but I don't want to test him.

And he shouldn't be tolerant of that kind of thing. I've always found it really unfair and unreasonable of parents to expect their dogs to put up with being abused and man handled by their kids.

So, our plan is to teach our kid from a very early age how to treat dogs and other animals. Obviously this is my first kid, so were not totally sure on what were doing, and most advice were getting from non-dog people is "Get rid of your dogs!!" Again, not happening unless we reach a serious issue that has no other way out.

ETA: Also adding before anyone states the obvious, I would NEVER leave my kid alone with the dogs. Ever.

 

[Doberluv]

Congrats! What an exciting time for you.

Yes, it's good to teach kids from the time they can crawl how to be gentle with dogs. I remember our first child at 1-1/2 years old, we got our GSD puppy. We were very careful and reminded her not to step on his tail when she was toddling around and we'd be right there in case she'd lose her balance. She got it right off the bat and was so cute, side stepping ever so carefully and patting him so lightly, she could have been patting a bird. lol. Both my kids learned early on that dogs were to be treated gently and carefully. And they've turned into dog loving adults, almost as obsessed as I am. lol.

You'll be a wonderful mother and teacher to your baby and I think you might wind up with a dog obsessed child too. haha.

 

[Sekah]

Congratulations!

The Dogs And Babies blog is amazing. http://www.dogsandbabieslearning.com/

It focuses a lot on teaching your baby not to be "magnetized" to dogs. It's all about giving your dog loads of room to withdraw to and not to encourage much (or any) interaction between the two. You want them to be ambivalent towards each other.

 

[Elrohwen]

I don't have kids yet, but I love this blog. She hasn't posted recently, but I like going back and reading her older posts.
http://www.dogsandbabieslearning.com/

She really stresses not allowing your baby to become obsessed with the dog. Lots of parents say "look at the dog! he's so soft!" etc etc and inadvertently create a child who is magnetized to the dog. Then once the kid is mobile, all they want to do is go after the dog, but they are too young to understand how to be appropriate and gentle. I never really thought about that before, but I think it's great advice. Teach the kid to ignore the dog at first, and introduce age appropriate interactions as the kid grows up.

And congrats!

ETA: Apparently I should read other people's responses. :lol-sign: At least the blog comes well recommended!

 

[*blackrose]

I've never had a child, but I think the aforementioned advice is spot on.

My siblings and I grew up with dogs and cats. They were just...there. There was never a big production made of them and they weren't "special". The animals always had a kid free zone they could escape to and our interactions were supervised. If we got too rough, my mom would correct us and show us what we should be doing.

Our cat was also a saint and would correct us as well. He would start with a tail twitch and avoidance, then move on to swatting at us without claws, which normally scared the bajeebers out of us. If that didn't work, we got scratched, and mom had no sympathy.
I loved that cat. He would let me put him in my baby buggy, put a blanket over him and tuck him in, then push him around the house. LOL Oh, if only all cats were like him...

 

[StompinT]

I agree that kids should be taught to be gentle with dogs, not give hugs, etc. We had our dog before we had our 3 kids, and we've not had a problem. We never made a huge issue of the dog - she was just part of the family. And we always expressed the need to be gentle, to recognize when she no longer wants their attention, etc.

Having said that, there were MANY times when our young toddler got ahold of an ear, and pulled (while I was rushing like a maniac to get there). This WILL happen. On one occasion, one of our twins also fell on our dog.

Our dog HAS put her teeth on all 3 of our kids. It's happened when she was being hurt. Yes, I was RIGHT there. But yes, it has happened. All 'teeth on skin' events happened because of pulled hair, when the children were simply too young to understand that what they were doing was hurting.

Have said this, our dog has never so much as put a pink mark on our childrens skin. She is a small, friendly, happy dog, and I do not blame her one bit for using her teeth when she deemed it necessary. It was always effective She taught the toddlers better than I had that she would not tolerate rough behavior.

I was OK with this because A)She never actually hurt them, B)It only happened once or twice with each of our 3 children and C) it only ever happened when she was being hurt.

If she was a bigger dog with a bigger bite I am not sure I would have had the same response.

All this to say, if your dogs live in your home with you as part of the family, there will most definitely be times when your kids will accidentally hurt, annoy, or otherwise excite your dogs. It's your call whether your dogs have the temperaments to withstand this, even in small doses.

 

[sparks19]

I agree with not being all "oooh look at the doggy... look oooooooh wow". When Hannah was a baby, if the dogs approached her then she could reach out a hand to touch them but we didn't really PUT her with them (except a couple times with Belle lol) but Belle would always get up and lay next to her in her boppy on the couch. I have so many pictures of their heads resting next to each other.

I encouraged appropriate behavior (from both dog and child) and discouraged inappropriate behavior (from both) and just kept being consistent. Consistency is key. BUT accidents are going to happen. There is going to come a time where baby is going to trip and fall on said dog or step on a tail by accident, etc. So if you don't think your dog can handle such an event without snapping, I would limit access to areas where the baby will be mobile until their mobility is more solid.

 

[Torch]

Everyone has given great advice so far! Mostly I have to reiterate keeping them separate and teaching them to ignore each other.

Something I remember distinctly from a very young age was my parents teaching me to respect our pets. They never baby talked me or failed to explain things to me. I understood from an early age that my pets had feelings, could feel pain or fear, and that them being 'friends' with me was very dependent on me behaving appropriately towards them.

Mostly my parents were good role models around the animals. They were always calm and in control of the situation, and our dogs loved and trusted them. They did NILIF way before it was cool lol.

 

[halblingefrau]

I wholeheartedly agree with the folks advocating for teaching ambivalence. I don't have kids, but this attitude has worked very well for my friend and her cats. Her son is 14 months, and he's very gentle and will pet kitty if kitty comes up to him, but he doesn't go after the cat.

Lucy is good with kids, but little ones that constantly follow her around stress her out. As for Angel, her dream would be to have a kid hanging on her every minute. That dog is THE MOST TOLERANT dog I've ever seen. That's not even fair, she's not tolerant... she LOVES the attention.

Your two dogs sound similar to mine in that respect. I think teaching age appropriate interactions as the child grows is your best bet. And I can't stress enough "gentle petting." No animal likes the uncoordinated toddler "smack."

Also, CONGRATS!!!!

 

[Dogdragoness]

I agree that kids should be taught to be gentle with dogs, not give hugs, etc. We had our dog before we had our 3 kids, and we've not had a problem. We never made a huge issue of the dog - she was just part of the family. And we always expressed the need to be gentle, to recognize when she no longer wants their attention, etc.

Having said that, there were MANY times when our young toddler got ahold of an ear, and pulled (while I was rushing like a maniac to get there). This WILL happen. On one occasion, one of our twins also fell on our dog.

Our dog HAS put her teeth on all 3 of our kids. It's happened when she was being hurt. Yes, I was RIGHT there. But yes, it has happened. All 'teeth on skin' events happened because of pulled hair, when the children were simply too young to understand that what they were doing was hurting.

Have said this, our dog has never so much as put a pink mark on our childrens skin. She is a small, friendly, happy dog, and I do not blame her one bit for using her teeth when she deemed it necessary. It was always effective She taught the toddlers better than I had that she would not tolerate rough behavior.

I was OK with this because A)She never actually hurt them, B)It only happened once or twice with each of our 3 children and C) it only ever happened when she was being hurt.

If she was a bigger dog with a bigger bite I am not sure I would have had the same response.

All this to say, if your dogs live in your home with you as part of the family, there will most definitely be times when your kids will accidentally hurt, annoy, or otherwise excite your dogs. It's your call whether your dogs have the temperaments to withstand this, even in small doses.

If only all parents were like you :/ ... But noooo, most are all "OMG look at the doggy!" :wall:

@ Shakou I don't think this of you at all, I wholly believe you will be wonderful parents, "true" dog ppl always do

 

[sparks19]

I don't agree with keeping them seperate. I think life needs to resume as normal and let each get used to the new normal. You have time before baby becomes mobile Nd more time begore they become FAST! Leadig life that to the dogs are just there and the baby is just there and everyone needs to coexsist is best. That doesn't
Mean forcing them on each
Other or making either one a big deal but just... Normal life. I think an environment where both can learn how to interact is ideal.

 

[Shakou]

Thank you everyone for the advice

In regards to the fact that things will happen, be it intentionally or unintentionally, I know that. I just want to minimize it is all. Ma'ii has only ever been around one toddler who hit him (hard) and his response for 5 seconds was to freeze and blink before I jumped on him and yelled at the mother to grab her kid. If it had continued, I know he would have growled, which would of escalated into Lord knows what if the kid had continued. He's not a mean dog, but he makes it clear when he wants you to stop something.

I like the idea of teaching kids to ignore dogs when young. To me that makes a lot of sense.

 

[Dogdragoness]

Thank you everyone for the advice

In regards to the fact that things will happen, be it intentionally or unintentionally, I know that. I just want to minimize it is all. Ma'ii has only ever been around one toddler who hit him (hard) and his response for 5 seconds was to freeze and blink before I jumped on him and yelled at the mother to grab her kid. If it had continued, I know he would have growled, which would of escalated into Lord knows what if the kid had continued. He's not a mean dog, but he makes it clear when he wants you to stop something.

I like the idea of teaching kids to ignore dogs when young. To me that makes a lot of sense.

Ma'ii is a really good dog! Izze would have snarked at that kid really scarily that's for sure and would have given the kid a good scaring at the very least. It's not in the ACDs nature to be tolerant of things that "emasculate " so to speak. Josefina would probably just think they were playing, since that's how I play with her) and start trying to roughhouse ... Which probably would be equally problematic lol :/