This really blows my mind.. not all women/men are like these wolves in sheeps clothing waiting to pounce
Especially just if the girl is ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder.. it could be for any NUMBER of reasons. and if she isn't doing anything else other than not liking you, I really don't see the big deal. You deal with being ignored and a little cold shoulder attitude.. it's not the end of the world by any means.
It's RIDICULOUS to say "Oh I trust him/her 10000% but you know..women/men.. and affairs don't just happen and he/she could trick him!"
..last time I checked, it takes two to cheat and there is no amount of planning, trickery, or foul play that can "trick" anybody into cheating. If your SO cheats, it because he wanted to and made the DECISION to do so. not because anybody tricked him into doing it.
Last time I checked, we all know how sex works sooo regardless of any trickery, flirting or seduction, push comes to shove, HE/SHE DID IT BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. We are not animals who can't control our sexual urges. We can say no, we can leave the situation, we can stop so short of actually being physical forced and raped.. cheating is 100% on your SO, not anybody else. Sorry, tough pancakes.
so if you really do trust your SO 1000%.. then you shouldn't be worried regardless of what everyone else is doing, even their friends of the opposite sex because you should know that regardless of any flirting or seducing or tricks, your SO is not some kind of animal who can't control themselves or their actions.
If you want to admit that you are a jealous individual that doesn't like your SO hanging around with people of the opposite sex or people you don't particularly like OR you admit you don't want other people talking about/seeing your SO our with someone else and stirring up drama.. fine. You have your reasons, at least you are being honest.
but let's cut the pancakes here. You can't 100% trust someone and also be worried about somebody else coming around and enticing them into an affair.
So even if you think this friend is "laying the groundwork" or "working their way in" or has an evil plan to destroy you as a couple, if you really trust your SO, you don't have a problem.
They might be able to trick him/her out to a restaurant, into their house, into the bedroom..
but NOBODY has ever tricked any adult in a relationship into having consensual sex without the person knowing what was going on or what they were doing :rofl1:
Especially just if the girl is ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder.. it could be for any NUMBER of reasons. and if she isn't doing anything else other than not liking you, I really don't see the big deal. You deal with being ignored and a little cold shoulder attitude.. it's not the end of the world by any means.
It's RIDICULOUS to say "Oh I trust him/her 10000% but you know..women/men.. and affairs don't just happen and he/she could trick him!"
..last time I checked, it takes two to cheat and there is no amount of planning, trickery, or foul play that can "trick" anybody into cheating. If your SO cheats, it because he wanted to and made the DECISION to do so. not because anybody tricked him into doing it.
Last time I checked, we all know how sex works sooo regardless of any trickery, flirting or seduction, push comes to shove, HE/SHE DID IT BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. We are not animals who can't control our sexual urges. We can say no, we can leave the situation, we can stop so short of actually being physical forced and raped.. cheating is 100% on your SO, not anybody else. Sorry, tough pancakes.
so if you really do trust your SO 1000%.. then you shouldn't be worried regardless of what everyone else is doing, even their friends of the opposite sex because you should know that regardless of any flirting or seducing or tricks, your SO is not some kind of animal who can't control themselves or their actions.
If you want to admit that you are a jealous individual that doesn't like your SO hanging around with people of the opposite sex or people you don't particularly like OR you admit you don't want other people talking about/seeing your SO our with someone else and stirring up drama.. fine. You have your reasons, at least you are being honest.
but let's cut the pancakes here. You can't 100% trust someone and also be worried about somebody else coming around and enticing them into an affair.
So even if you think this friend is "laying the groundwork" or "working their way in" or has an evil plan to destroy you as a couple, if you really trust your SO, you don't have a problem.
They might be able to trick him/her out to a restaurant, into their house, into the bedroom..
but NOBODY has ever tricked any adult in a relationship into having consensual sex without the person knowing what was going on or what they were doing :rofl1:
I wasn't trying to say that people aren't responsible for choosing to have an affair, because in the end, if that's what they do it's their responsibility and their choice. I'm not saying that all women/men are evil relationship poachers who are trying to break everyone around them up.
I am saying that there are people who do go around doing just that though. Just like there are pedophiles and people who scam elders out of their money, etc. I do not know how common they are, but they exist and I bet everyone on this forum has encountered one at least once in their life.
Their behavior is predatory. They do go through a grooming process, and the signs are fairly consistent.
My point is, why is it wrong to be aware of those signs? If you are aware and recognize something is off before having to invest a lot of time in a potential friendship, why would you waste that time on a potentially destructive non-friendship with someone who is just out to get another notch in their belt at the expense of your time and your happiness?
If your relationship is strong and secure, of course you/your SO won't end up having an affair with them. But you will have wasted a ton of time hanging out with a creeper that could have been spent doing something awesome instead.
Personally I think it's a good idea to be aware of signs that people coming into your life may have major personality/behavior defects. At least that way you can choose what types of defects you want to tolerate.