separation anxiety

[pumpkins mom]

Hey all. I just need a few recommendations on training. I'm a seriously soft touch when it comes to training. My 6.5 month old female Pom has two different personalities...one for me and one for my husband. My husband doesn't take any flack from her so she almost always obeys his commands. When it comes to me on the other hand...even when I use my "stern" voice, I'm pretty sure she still thinks it's play time. I know this is all my fault for treating her like a baby when I should have been treating her like a dog....how can I start over and make her realize that I'm the pack leader not a litter mate?

One more thing...currently we keep her penned up in a large area of our kitchen while we're gone during the day. She uses a pee pad...really the only thing we can do since we have no one to check on her and doggy day care is just too expensive. I'm having trouble getting it through to her that she can go outside while I'm home. I crate her at night and the first place we go is out when she wakes up...she immediately goes and even seems to know what I expect of her...yet at other times she seems confused...she'll go out side to play or go on a walk and then come home and use her pee pad...is there anything I can do? I also made the mistake of giving her more freedom down stairs (hardwood with area rugs) only to find that she had been peeing on the rugs but I didn't notice because it sunk in too quickly. Any suggestions for that?

I know they are pack animals and I don't want her penned up while I get all my work done around the house. (just this week she literally clawed a hole in the wall which I can only label as frustration and separation anxiety). I have taken to putting her on a leash while I watch TV or work on the computer, etc...so I can keep an eye on her...she's not too keen on that and chews on the leash...even when i scold her and give her a chew bone or toy...again, any suggestions?

I know Poms can be tough but she is a sweet, sweet girl and I want to make her a good companion...not a prisoner in a pen. Sorry for the long post. Thanks!

 

[houndlove]

For exerting some more leadership without being mean, nothing beats the NILIF system: http://www.westwinddogtraining.com/NILIF.pdf

That's a PDF file so let me know if you can't open it and I'll copy/paste. You needn't be a big meanie-pants with your dogs, but you do need to be consistent in your rules. Decide what you want and what you don't want, and then stick with it, rewarding what you want and making sure the dog gets no reward for what you don't want. It might help if you and your husband sat down and just made a list of "house rules" for your dog, to pin up on the fridge for a bit so everyone is on the same page. Dogs often do behave differently for "sterner" people not because the stern people are more alpha-y than someone else, but because they're scarier (men especially with their deeper, louder voices and naturally more forward body-language) and dogs, above all things, are in to self-preservation. I'm not stern at all with the dogs, and they do listen to me, so you don't need to be like that, but you do need to be consistent with your rewarding, and not reward anything you don't want the dog to do (and dogs can see some pretty unusual things as a "reward" so you have to basically let your dog decide what is and is not rewarding and go with that information).

As far as the pottying, I'll let someone who uses pee pads answer that one. But I will say that this is a common problem with pee-pad training. Dogs don't really understands "but"s. As in, "You pee inside the house sometimes and it's okay, but when I don't want you to pee there, you must pee outside instead." They understand the world in a pretty yes/no black/white good/bad way.

 

[lizzybeth727]

I agree with houndlove, good advice there. Also, about the pee pads, I'd say it's great that she's using the pad while you're home, because that means that she knows where she's supposed to go. What I would do is leave the pads down so she can go to them if she needs to, but if she happens to go outside with you, reward that with a bigger reward than you use when she goes on the pads. This means, too, that you should continue rewarding your dog for going on the pads, because that way she'll figure out to go there instead of on the carpet.

Also, keeping her on a leash with you in the house all the time is a great (and often-suggested) way of doing potty training. As you have seen, if your dog potties and you didn't see it, not only is it annoying, but you cannot teach her what she should've done if you catch her after the fact. You can soak the leash in bitter apple or some other taste deterrent (and I mean, literally soak - poar the bitter apple in a bowl and dip the leash in it), and/or just redirect her chewing when she starts to chew on the leash. Giving her chew bones is great, but anticipate that she's probably going to chew on the leash, and give them to her before she starts chewing on the leash.

 

[pumpkins mom]

Thanks so much...I definitely will read through that document. The bitter apple spray is genius! I'm going to do that first thing when I get home.

Personally I hate having to use the pee pads for a multitude of reasons..it produces excess garbage, a dog is pooping in my house, etc...but it just can't be helped. I'd just prefer she know the difference between a pee pad and my carpet! Guess we'll have to work harder on that one.

 

[lizzybeth727]

Of course potty pads are not ideal. But if you HAVE to use them, it's going to be a lot easier on your puppy if you ONLY use them - continue teaching her to use them even when you're home. When she's full-grown (about 10-12 months old), she might be able to "hold it" for eight hours while you're at work, but small breeds usually can never be expected to hold it for more than about 9 hours. Anyway, at that point, you could leave her in the crate without a potty pad while you're at work, and then teach her to go outside while you're at home, so you'll never have to use the pads.