Normal?

[StillandSilent]

It took me a long time to get over the death of my sweet fat Molly. Her death was very unexpected, she seemed fine on thursday, didn't eat much on Friday and died Saturday at the emergency clinic.
I cried for months on end, she and I were babies together and I never knew life without her. I was worried that I would never be able to love another dog like I loved her.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The only other dog I have lost is my beloved Pandora at work. That dog was Mine with a capital M. She was a cattle dog and would help me herd the puppies into the right cages, and take them on the trail for walks without ever being trained to do so. Unfortunalty, her abusive past made her unsuitable for adoption. She was going downhill and miserable. So we made the decision to put Pandora down. I thought I was going to be a nervous wreck, but when the time came to acutally say goodbye, she looked me right in the eyes. And I knew, without a doubt that this was the right thing, and furthermore, it was a good thing. That she was ready. So I barely cried at all and was able to function immediatly. It was very, very strange.
I loved both those dogs with all my heart, but the greiving process was so different with them it was amazing.

 

[smkie]

I do volunteer at my local HS. I just haven't been able to go there lately. I feel bad, the others keep asking me via email if I'm going to walk this month, I just can't figure out if I can walk the dogs without crying right now. So I feel horrible about it.



Thanks Smkie, and Mary and Vic for the hugs as well!

I really like how you put that second and third sentence. Seems to fit perfectly.

I have had a bit of experience in the loss dept in the last 6 years. Amazing what can become "normal". I think Anne Frank said that best but i don't remember the qoute exactly so i would be afraid to try. i wish i could share Vic with you...HE would make you laugh despite the saddness! Even so i think crying is a good thing. I mean it is pop off valve for those emotions that well up and make you think your body is going to implode, emplode, i can't spell anymore THere are things released with the tears that help a person feel better, and help bring a bit of peace even if it does give me a headache and make my eyes puff out my face.Much worse to not be able to cry, then it will rot you away from the inside out. I am sure the dog won't mind if you walk and cry, just think Lucas may be walking right along with you approving of you with each step, and wanting you to be happy. Sometimes you just got to force your way through it, and pretend your brave until its easier. THat is all i ever do.

I can't tell you how afraid i am of losing Mary. I know it is coming, and all the "she had a good long life" isn't going to help me one bit. I am tearing up just writing this. I guess i am post stress and on the edge anymore. I wish i could talk to a councilor, that sounds silly, but what do you do when your dog gets seriously ill, and you find out, you just can't do this anymore? I am going to lose her and pray i don't lose the rest of my health right along with her. I nose dived so badly through our episode last month that i am now scared. I talked to the doc and he said his patients do crash symptomwise with heavy stress.

THe most tender moment of all your posts about Lucas that i cherish is when he tried to feed you. If there is a heaven, another side, and dogs are on it, surely they stop by, stay for awhile, make sure we are ok before they move on. I just hope there is an angel up there that loves my Bronki as much as i did. I don't know if it is my imagination or not, but for months i felt like both Jim and Bronki were there, not at the same time, but just little moments. I found myself saying Jim if your there i got some issues to discuss" but as time went on i felt this less and less. Still once in a while. Seems, feels like their presence is around. I hope so.

 

[Babyblue5290]

I have had a bit of experience in the loss dept in the last 6 years. Amazing what can become "normal". I think Anne Frank said that best but i don't remember the qoute exactly so i would be afraid to try. i wish i could share Vic with you...HE would make you laugh despite the saddness! Even so i think crying is a good thing. I mean it is pop off valve for those emotions that well up and make you think your body is going to implode, emplode, i can't spell anymore THere are things released with the tears that help a person feel better, and help bring a bit of peace even if it does give me a headache and make my eyes puff out my face.Much worse to not be able to cry, then it will rot you away from the inside out. I am sure the dog won't mind if you walk and cry, just think Lucas may be walking right along with you approving of you with each step, and wanting you to be happy. Sometimes you just got to force your way through it, and pretend your brave until its easier. THat is all i ever do.

The dogs might not mind if I walk and cry, but I'm sure there'll be all the questions of what's wrong and then I'll look horrible and it's not something I want to do at the moment.

THe most tender moment of all your posts about Lucas that i cherish is when he tried to feed you

That sure was a heartwarming moment! Disguisting, but still......so sweet of him. I've never ever heard of a dog sharing his food with people!

He was such a good dog.

 

[Babyblue5290]

For some reason, it's so cold outside. I don't know.....reminded me of Lucas for some reason. I know that's dumb, but it's not usually this cold like it is today. I swear it may snow soon.

 

[SpringerDog]

Reading your posts makes me tear up, I'm so sorry you are going through this and that I can't make it quicker or easier for you.

Go through each of the grieving processes. I got stuck in denial and depression., for three years. I decided no more dogs for me after my guy of 14 years died. I thought he was the best dog ever and no other dog would come close again. Three years of denying the idea of a dog. But in the end, a good dog helped me recover. Now it's up early and no time to rest once again. It's hard to get back on track and on with living sometimes.