Need a mans opinion.

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

I dont have any male friends to ask this, so here goes.

If a man isnt getting "any" in a relationship, will he look else where?

All books, or magazine articles I've read all end up the same way, the man strays when he stops getting "it" from his girlfriend. Is this true? Do all men do this? I was having a conversation with lee the other day and he said he'd read that all men are genetically programmed to cheat. Personally I think thats just a really convenient excuse. Not that he's ever cheated (as far as I know).

 

[Dizzy]

You don't need a mans opinion on this subject!

Men are not programmed to cheat, I don't think. If they want to they will, but same goes for any girl!

As far as not getting any - men are as much to blame for that as any woman. Most people I know, if things have, um, slowed in 'that' department, it's because of both him and her. And unless he is getting told to F off every night, then it is a joint problem and he obviously doesn't feel like nookie either!

Best thing in any relationship is 100% communication. Ask him straight up and see what the answer is! That's what I try and do anyway!

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

I already know his opinion on it. We have discussed it, I suppose u could say he just stopped trying aswell, he's of the opinion that he shouldnt be the only one to initiate it all the time. He's now learnt that if he doesnt initiate then he doesnt get any. I cant actually remember the last time he tried. Its depressing, im only 22.

 

[Dizzy]

It's life!

I'm only 24, my bf is only 21, and I can tell you, we have had the same conversation. More than once!

You get comfortable with each other, and things slow down. Once things are slow, you get used to it and don't miss it anymore. Sometimes you just have to make an effort and it all comes back! That's not to say you won't have the same conversation 6 months down the line again. It's just one of those things. Best thing is not to worry about it, because it is the worrying, not the lack of, um, stuff, that causes the problems.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

It's life!

I'm only 24, my bf is only 21, and I can tell you, we have had the same conversation. More than once!

You get comfortable with each other, and things slow down. Once things are slow, you get used to it and don't miss it anymore. Sometimes you just have to make an effort and it all comes back! That's not to say you won't have the same conversation 6 months down the line again. It's just one of those things. Best thing is not to worry about it, because it is the worrying, not the lack of, um, stuff, that causes the problems.

Its nice to know its not just me! I figured most couples would still u know, be quite active. I've been to the doctors about my lack of interest, because I havent always been like that. Now, I wouldnt be bothered if I never had it again. Im just not interested. The nurse said she recons its to do with my depression, and once I've seen someone about that, it will all be sorted. But, Im still waiting to see someone, 8 months since the doc diagnosed me. Its a viscous circle, I feel depressed, so I dont want to be intimate. Then the thought that me and him arent intimate much anymore makes me more depressed. And he isnt really that suppotive, he doesnt understand it, wants to know why I just dont "snap out of it", or if im depressed "do something about it" to stop being depressed.

 

[yuckaduck]

It depends on the man and how much he loves you. I believe any man that truely loves his girlfriend or wife would never stray. No matter what there are other ways for a man to get it! They do have hands you know.

 

[Dizzy]

hehe, sounds sooooo familiar! Scarily so!

I think once you stop fighting how you feel and accept it, things become much easier, and you can look at your situation much better. When you are wrapped up in how you feel, you can't do anything but feel crap. Does that make sense?!

As for intimacy issue, I think 99% of couples have them at some point.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

hehe, sounds sooooo familiar! Scarily so!

I think once you stop fighting how you feel and accept it, things become much easier, and you can look at your situation much better. When you are wrapped up in how you feel, you can't do anything but feel crap. Does that make sense?!

As for intimacy issue, I think 99% of couples have them at some point.

thanks dizzy, you've made me feel so much better. you've put my mind at rest. I do understand what you mean. I generally obsess about things, and think too much into them, its prob because i spend so much time on my own (shadow is there for me, but isnt very forthcoming with relationship advise! lol)

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

It depends on the man and how much he loves you. I believe any man that truely loves his girlfriend or wife would never stray. No matter what there are other ways for a man to get it! They do have hands you know.

i know u should see the calloses (sp?) he has!!! lol

 

[Dizzy]

Glad to help

You sound very similar to me!

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

You sound very similar to me!

its prob cos we're of the same age and both from the Uk, and we both fab abviously! lol

 

[Renee750il]

Remember that most anti-depressants have the side effect of pretty much tanking the libido. Birth control pills will depress the libido also. It's always good to check on any medications you may be taking!