how easy is it to change your last name?

[juliefurry]

My stepsons are over and they both have email accounts and myspace accounts. My oldest wanted to show me his girlfriend (and the girl he's trying to date) so he asked me to log in and gives me his email address and password. Well he is going around using his mother's last name and says "well I like this name better than yours". The youngest said he goes by the mother's name as well.

My question is can she change their last names without Mark's permission? She won't give us the school info or teacher names and the boys won't tell us where they go to school and we've been trying to find out for awhile. So I'm thinking she's hiding something from us she either foraged Mark's name and changed their last names or something but Mark specifically told her he wants their last names to remain what Mark's last name is and she IS NOT to try to change their last names to her's. He told her this at the start of the divorce and she verbally agreed.

 

[GlassOnion]

They may have it as the 'official' last name on the school records but that doesn't mean they have to go by it. They can just tell the teacher they prefer to go by a different name or just respond to it but not really take it to heart.

 

[juliefurry]

Well she doesn't do things halfassed. If they are going around saying they use this last name and not ours than she got them changed somehow. We found out their school and teachers though so we're going to call and set up a parent teacher conference with the teachers as soon as possible so they can get to know us. She always says she wants HER family to all have the same last names so that worries Mark he wants his family to all have the same last name as well and they are our family as much as hers.

If the oldest boy likes her name better fine but his biological child said he had no problem with our last name and thinks the new one is confusing so why confuse the boy let him use the name he is comfortable with.

 

[ToscasMom]

julie, the LEGAL last name is that which is on the birth certificate. Anyone can change their last name but they have to go through a legal process to do it. I read somewhere where it's actually easier to change your last name than it is to change your first name.

 

[juliefurry]

Well our last name is on the birth certificates that we have for them. When we get the ER bills for them every month though our last name is on them too. It's just wierd that their email address and everything are in her last name. She should not be able to do that without Mark's consent (change the last names) and we're not going to let her change the names.

Sorry I'm just blowing off steam if she changed their names were gonna have to deal with it. I mean if Mark and me ever split there is no way I would ever change their names they are Mark's kids just as much as mine!

 

[sparks19]

sorry.... I don't really see the huge deal about the kids wanting to go by their mothers last name in their email address and such. I can fill out an email sign up with any name I want to. it doesn't have to be my "legal" name. I could just lie.

My half brother goes by his mothers husbands last name. Not my dads last name. no biggie. His school records are all in that last name.... everything is in that last name and my dad wasn't required to sign anything.... probably because it wasn't done "officially" but it's on all his documents.

Same with my brothers kids..... both sets. My one brothers kids are under their mothers maiden name even though they got married later on they just didn't want to go through the name change. My other brothers kids go by both last names.

I haven't "officially" changed my last name to my married name on all my government documents either but everything else comes to me by my married name because I request it to be so. no legal name change requirements to do that.

So yes.... she most certainly can send them to school using her last name. they can sign up for email using her last name. If the kids want to use her last name they can do that without marks permission. chances are they haven't gone through all the legal changes..... if their government stuff was originally filed under marks name I bet they still are.... but they are just choosing to use their mothers last name.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Honestly.. I don't get what the big deal is?

Before I got married I didn't have the same last name as my mother (or my biological father, but that's another story) and it didn't make me any less my mother's daughter.

I say pick your battles wisely.

 

[sparks19]

I say pick your battles wisely.

Um excuse me.... I don't remember inviting you into my brain lol....

I was going to use those exact words in my post but ended up saying something else lol.

but yes.... I agree. At least those kids are still visiting you.... I wouldn't cause a scene over this. it sounds to me like the kids wanted to use her name. I say let them or they will end up resenting it

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Well, seeing as thought my body and brain are fighting me today, I had to go somewhere, I guess you were it, Sparks. lol

 

[juliefurry]

The youngest does not want to use her name it is too confusing to him to use it. That does not sound like to me that he WANTS to use her name. It sounds to me she is forcing it on him to make it more convient to her.

I would not change my children's name for any reason if I was divorced from the father. That takes a very mean and spitful person in my opinion.

She is going against verbal and written divorce agreements if she has changed their names on any type of documents. If they are using her last name on email accounts than more than likely she is trying to get them changed for convience to her.

The big deal is she is forcing something on these children and they are Mark's children there is no reason for her to change their last names on any documents. She is a lying deceitful person and if she is trying to do this than god knows what else she has done.

You really wouldn't understand this unless you were in our position I was only asking HOW EASY it was for her to change their last names not if she should be allowed to or if we were overreacting.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Hey- don't get riled up on us- we only know what you tell us. So back off, sister.

Now- they may be Mark's kids, but are they not HERS as well? Hmm? Or this is one of those macho type things where he's the father of the children so he gets to do what he wants with them? How dare she use her name when they are his kids? News flash, they belong to them both. They are both parents. Just because they do not use Marks last name does NOT mean they are not HIS children.

I hardly think that a fight over the last name of a CHILD is worth putting the child through. It sound as if that whole family has been through enough. So fight this battle- let me know if it was worth it in the end. Gah.

 

[bubbatd]

Did their Mom change back to her maiden name when divorced or is she remarried ?? Unless legally changed , what is on their birth certificate and the SS is their name .

 

[juliefurry]

Hey- don't get riled up on us- we only know what you tell us. So back off, sister.

Now- they may be Mark's kids, but are they not HERS as well? Hmm? Or this is one of those macho type things where he's the father of the children so he gets to do what he wants with them? How dare she use her name when they are his kids? News flash, they belong to them both. They are both parents. Just because they do not use Marks last name does NOT mean they are not HIS children.

I hardly think that a fight over the last name of a CHILD is worth putting the child through. It sound as if that whole family has been through enough. So fight this battle- let me know if it was worth it in the end. Gah.

Yeah they are hers BUT she is acting as if Mark never even existed and she can do with these children what she wants! That is the problem.

They are BOTH of their children which means they BOTH have a say in what their names are. If she wants to change the names than Mark should have been told and he was not.

I did not tell you ANYTHING I just ASKED how easy it was to change their names LEGALLY and if it could not be done WITHOUT Mark's consent.

I will let you know if it was worth it because this **** happens with her every week where she gets more and more ignorant thinking she can do whatever the hell she wants with THEIR children. We have battled her once over her boyfriend abusing the children and we will do it again.

Again this is about HOW EASY it is to change their last names LEGALLY. Not if we are overreacting or if it should or should not be allowed.

The youngest has told us it is TOO CONFUSING for him so should the CHILD'S feelings not play any part in this. If the oldest wants to change his name more power to him as I stated in the FIRST post. If, however, the name changing is too confusing and the child WISHES to keep the last name he was BORN with than why should the last name that he does not be FORCED on him. I believe the child should have the right to pick his own name. Unless that's just Mark being too macho!

 

[juliefurry]

Did their Mom change back to her maiden name when divorced or is she remarried ?? Unless legally changed , what is on their birth certificate and the SS is their name .

She sort of did she uses her maiden name on some stuff but on other stuff it's the married name.

 

[Buckshot]

how easy is it to change your last name?

I should put you in touch with my sister, she has done it six times so I'm sure she has all the bugs worked out

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Well, now, hope you feel better. Do what is best for the kids. Not for your own feelings.

 

[Tankstar]

It cant be to hard, after my parents split my mom changed our names back to her last name. She didnt want us to have his last name, so she just went and changed them. Out of spite I'm sure, but I dont mind at all.

 

[bubbatd]

My friend got a divorce and kept her husband's name " for the sake of her children " ...... my problem with that is they were all adults and she's lived with another man for 20 years now ......with her 1st mate's rings on her left hand !!! How's that for tacky !

 

[juliefurry]

Sorry for being rude. I do apologize. It's not just the last name thing that is getting at us though. She has done a lot of stuff the boys have piercings ALL over them now (both ears, eyebrows, cartilidge) and the oldest is getting a tattoo! Ofcourse none of this was run by Mark and he does not think it is right to get the boy a tattoo (at the age of 14) just because they want him to look cool.

The problem is we have never really had any fights with her. We took her to court when her boyfriend admitted to physically and mentally abusing the children to get custody of them and that ended with us losing thousands and not getting the boys. This is just something he has to put his foot down about. If the boys want their names to be her name fine but the youngest (mark's biological child) does not. We are putting the children's best interest into thought she is not.

 

[juliefurry]

My friend got a divorce and kept her husband's name " for the sake of her children " ...... my problem with that is they were all adults and she's lived with another man for 20 years now ......with her 1st mate's rings on her left hand !!! How's that for tacky !

Well she uses Mark's last name lots of times which always ends in trouble for Mark. She has the option of using her maiden name but we don't know if it's been switched or not probably because she always hated the last name Furry.

I really am sorry for blowing up at people but there's something about her and how she acts that just drive me NUTS!