divorce & christmas

[azcowgirl]

well this christmas is going to be the first christmas i spend with my mom and a guy thats NOT my dad... just starting to have a hard time... i was really close to my dad when i was younger.. then he started trucking... my mom had a full time job also.. so my sister took care of me... ( kinda ) hm.. i miss my dad.. its going to be hard to spend this holiday without him.. after 17 years of doing so well 16 now 17.... i have a picture of my dad and i when i was little and i just cant stop looking at it..
im not alowd to talk about my dad around my mom or her boyfriend.. my sister doesnt care.. ( not her real dad but did get raised like her own father )my brother dont care ( same as my sister ) i dont know what to do...

 

[Sweet72947]

I'm sorry..can you call your dad and talk to him, maybe that would help you feel better? I know this has to be hard for you. Just let it out on here! Chaz is therapeutic . (((hugs)))

 

[azcowgirl]

well he has a new family.. well a new woman.. and everytime i call hes to busy.. he wants me to go visit.. but i dont think im ready to meet her.. my dad left my mom for another woman he was in love with when he was in highschool and he found her i guess.. my moms over it ( hence the other thread of mine )

 

[Debi]

he's just there..waiting until your comfortable. sadly, if you want a relationship with him again, you're going to have to at least give his partner a chance. unless he's close enough that you could meet together for dinner or something, just the two of you? since your mom moved on, why not just forgive him. I'd bet he never meant to hurt anyone, he just happened to love another woman. must have loved her first, since it was high school. if you want him to be happy, guess this was his choice for personal happiness. but that doesn't mean he wants to give up his children, he just needs you to be accepting.

 

[bubbatd]

Some splits are so hard on the kids .....you should be able to talk about him openly . He's still your Dad. Vent away here ! Will help !

 

[azcowgirl]

im not so good at talking about my feelings... my dad lives 5 hours away.. so we cant have dinner.. i dont know i forgive him and everything but its just still hard.. he didnt come for my 17th bday.... hes not here for christmas.. and everytime i call him i just want to cry.. but he acts like a totally different person infront of her.. i dont know him when shes around.. he doesnt want her to know about his past.... it wasnt bad... he just.. is so different.. when i call him we talk for maybe 5 minutes than she comes in and he starts to talk to me differently so i just tell him i have to go sorry.. my parents have been seperated since last jan...though.. i saw what my mom went through and it hurt me.. my mom came and talked to me negative things about my dad and it made me hate him but now i know the whole truth from both sides... he told me he wasnt happy... he loved this woman since he was really young.. and my mom was just using to much money ( she has a problem seriously i know that ) eh.. i dont know to much what to say right now.. my mom keeps looking over my shoulder at times :| ( shes at my house for a while till her boyfriend and mine gets out of work

 

[yoko]

i know how you feel this is the second christas i am going to have since my parents got a divorce and it's so weird. momwants to plan a day and then i have my dad. and my mom has a new bf. and it's so weird and awkward now.

 

[Renee750il]

There are always ripples - and even waves - when couples split, but at the heart of it are the people who have to make a difficult decision to seek out happiness, and in finding the courage to do that, they free their partners to do the same. It's painful as hell, but it can give someone who has settled for a safe existence the chance to seek out their own true happiness . . . which they very well might never have done otherwise.

Is your father happy?

Is your mother learning to be happy?

Now it's your turn . . . Each of you is responsible for seizing your own chance.

Go. Visit your dad and his love. You might even like her, and you'll learn something more about your dad. Loving her doesn't change how he feels about you.

 

[Paige]

I grew up being raised by a man who isn't the father of any of my siblings. I knew my dad, not very well, but I still knew him. My mom and Serge broke off four years ago. It is still weird not going home to his grouchiness but life changes. For better or worse you just kind of have to make do with what it's given you. Good luck girl. It's not always easy adjusting.