I don't have any kids, but I read this somewhere about parenting advice and it just.. I wish more parents knew and I wish advice like this was more common.
"The way you talk to your children becomes their inner monologue."
It's so true..
What's the best parenting advice you ever received?
Best advice?
pick your battles.
you don't have to bring the hammer down on every little thing. Important things like manners, safety, behavior in public places, etc absolutely but how they wear their hair? their clothes? what and how they eat every second of everyday? let them figure it out.
Who CARES if they go out in a tutu and red cowgirl boots with a camoflauge baseball cap? Unless it's some formal event and as long as it's weather appropriate (no shorts and sandals when it's below freezing with a foot of snow on the ground lol) let them have that little bit of control in their life. is it worth a battle everyday so they wear what YOU want them to wear? no it's not and they should be comfortable so if that means some whacky outfit, get over it.
if they want to wear their hair up, down, sideways or all messed up, let it go. Seriously, this was a struggle for me. Hannahs hair is so fine and it's always hanging in her face, in her art projects, in her FOOD BUT it's not my hair and it will all come out in the wash so if she doesn't want her hair up I shouldn't force the issue.
What they eat. proper nutrition is important but power struggles at every meal over what and how much they eat is counter productive. Hannah went through a phase where she barely ate enough to keep a baby bird alive (she was also battling constipation so that's probably a big reason why) and we would battle over meals constantly. she needed more veggies, more fruit, more proteins, more FOOD. Finally I just stopped. I started talking about what I was making for dinner, letting her help make dinner (she likes to dice green peppers), and realizing that there are just certain things she doesn't like. Since I changed my approach away from combative YOU MUST EAT THIS to "here want to try some of what I'm making/help make dinner" etc... her favorite foods now include broccoli, cauliflower and asparagus and she is on a BIG fruit kick right now. Strawberries, grapes, kiwi, apples (she loves to dip apples in peanut butter), she'll eat those all day long.
There are certain meals I make that I know she genuinely does not like, I do not force her to eat them. I will make her something else because I knew before I made it that she didn't like it.
So... pick your battles. My sister has a 2 year old and she is so strict with her about every little detail and it's already starting to manifest into constant battles (partly due to age... terrible twos but partly due to being stifled). it's only going to get worse and lead to rebellion.
It's ok to have FUN with your kids. Still be the parent but you don't ALWAYS have to be the heavy unless it's necessary. ENJOY YOUR KIDS!!!!